Sword Art Online: Deadpool
by Beyor
Summary: 10000 players get stuck in Sword Art Online. Who else to call then everyone's favorite Marvel's mercenary Deadpool. Inspired by the comics, movie, and especially the Deadpool game. Spoilers for Sword Art Online Season 1. Contains other SAO material, including abridged and bloopers. Fourth wall breaking, memes, references and foul language. Rated M for Deadpool.
1. Chapter 1: a different start

**In bold -** Not Deadpool nor OP.

Normal text – OP/Inner voice 1

[Voice] – Inner voice 2

{Voice} – Inner voice 3

For an idea on what the voices are/sound like, here's a small clip: www. youtube watch?v=AgtLkTedcj0

-System Message-

* * *

Thank you for deciding to read Sword Art Online: Deadpool.

I thought it would be a good…. Wait what..? **gets punched off his chair**.

''Hello folks, Your favorite neighborhood mercenary Deadpool here! Glad you'll be able to see me in all my glory in this amazing story by this third-rate hobbyist author.''

[Not sure what he was expecting when he decided to have us in his story though]

{But he is sure as hell going to regret it!}

''While my pal is trying to get up on his feet, I'd like to say that the reader's discretion is advised. This boy is not a native English speaker, so please give him a bit of a chance. Everybody's got to learn, right?''

[As long as he makes it somewhat understandable.]

{It's all fine by us}.

''Everything you are about to read comes from source material such as The Amazing Deadpool game, movies and more. What else should I mention…? Oh yeah, the story is T-rated or M-rated, for some reason. It switches every now and then, so he can't really pick one. What was your reason again?''

[It probably has something to do with us.]

{But we have no strings attached to us.}

''I understood that reference!''

[And I understood that one]. **Deadpool gets pulled out of the chair.**

Well, that escalated quickly. Anyway, hope you all enjoy the story of Sword Art Online: Deadpool.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Sword Art Online or Deadpool. All are owned by the respective owners.

 **Warning:** ''This is a parody of the story of Sword Art Online. As such, pay no detail to the logic in this story, since… well… I'm in it.''

[Enough said.]

* * *

With a miraculous flash of light, a tornado pulled the red-pyjamaed hero, known as Deadpool, out of his room and threw him with tremendous force into a world unbeknownst to the Merc with a Mouth. For whatever reason, Deadpool, who had his pants and underpants off before the whole event even occurred, found that the tornado had conveniently decided to take those as well.

With great velocity, the red-pyjamaed mercenary was launched against one of the buildings of the Town of Beginnings, only for a message reading -Immortal- to pop up in front of him, his pants and underpants, thankfully, back on his body, where they belonged.

''Where are we?'' Deadpool muttered to himself. ''And who the fuck are you?''

[Let's see. Tornado, an "immortal" pop-up-window, a seemingly medieval town and way too much information in our sight.]

{And way too many colors!}

''We're in Neverland!''

[Try again.]

{The Wizard of Oz?}

Without a clue as to where the tornado had brought him, Deadpool decided to walk into the city itself. It was when the large clock came into sight, in the form of what he would later learn was the HUD, that it showed a blinking 12:00. Lights began to form, surrounding him.

''So this is a HUD? Thanks, buddy. Guess I'll call you OP from now on. Oh, it's so beautiful!'' The Merc with a Mouth gasped, holding his hands out in front of him.

[Sparkling lights, all around us...]

{This must be Disney!}

Without confirming that statement, the player walked towards the lights and quickly became disappointed when other players appeared from the lights before he could even touch them.

''Maybe they know where we are because this bastard, OP, isn't giving us any signs.''

[Hey! Maybe ask that astoundingly beautiful boy over there first.]

{No homo.}

With that said, Deadpool made his way towards one of the players in front of him.

''Excuse me, little fellow. Got any clue as to where we are?''

''Nani o itte iru?''

[What was that?]

{Must be French.}

''Sorry, I don't speak pretty boy… goddammit OP! Change the script dammit!''

Having no intention of doing so, Deadpool decided to look around the plaza instead. Several spawned players had done an interesting - ''Just say ridiculous," - sweeping motion with their right fingers.

Following their example, the mercenary decided to do the same, only to see an unfamiliar script appear before him. Little did he now that it was, in fact, the Japanese language.

''One moment you're helping me, the next moment you're ignoring me. Make up your mind, OP!''

[So, this is Japanese?]

{Now, how can we change it to English?}

''OP, how do you expect me to stay here if I don't even understand this jibber jabbish?''

[Is that even a word?]

{It is now.}

Suddenly, the merc noticed an orange line forming around one of the options before him and when he pressed it nothing occurred, much to his dismay. It was when he repeatedly pressed it, jabbing his finger at the window again and again, the system finally responded.

''For a game, the servers are a little too laggy,'' Deadpool stated when he finally reached the settings for language and everything before him shifted into the familiar language of English. He then realized what he had uttered only moments before. ''Wait, so, we're in a game?!''

[Better be a good one.]

{Maybe God of War, or Dynasty warriors?}

''Since when is Dynasty warriors a good one?'' the red-pyjamaed merc asked. For no obvious reason, a sudden harsh wind attacked his front, almost blasting him off his feet.

''Fine, fine, I guess it isn't that bad. Now, if you say the same about Destiny, I am going to wreck you.''

[Watch out, butthurt players incoming.]

{We have nothing to do with it.}

The wind settled down and Deadpool looked around again. After all, he still had yet to find out where he was, and his monologuing wasn't helping him one bit. With that in mind, the man made his way towards, what he believed was, another hunk of a boy {again, no homo} and cleared his throat.

''Hi kid, have any idea what this place is?''

''How do you not know? This is the world of Sword Art Online, red-pyjamaed idiot.'' The boy stated before rushing along with his friends, getting away from the weird-looking merc.

''I am going to ignore that insult and think. Sword Art Online, what was it again?''

[I think I've heard of it somewhere before.]

{Of course, you know them. It was that series with Kirito and Klein.}

''Kirito and Klein? Who are they?''

[Jesus-kun and Ballsdeep69]

Suddenly, the mercenary knew fully well where he was. ''Jesus-kun! So I'm stuck in a world because of a mad scientist, who doesn't even know why he created it, and a teen with family issues?''

[Probably.]

{But we weren't even in the show. How did we end up here?}

''That son of a …. '' Deadpool wanted to say, but his last word was bleeped out. ''He made us stuck in a reboot of the original show. And what are you bleeping that out for?! Thought this story was T/M-rated?!''

[It was probably because you wanted to insult his mother.]

{That bastard!}

Due to a monologue that went for way too long, the time on Deadpool's HUD had already reached 15:00. If he knew the script, he would've known what would happen after that.

''Of course, I know the script. Now, first, let's see if this story has the same script. Ah yes, the log out button is gone.'' The merc stated, performing that ridiculous sweeping action with his hand again to see the option not available in his menu.

''Told you it was ridiculous! Up top, Man!''

When the merc was left hanging for what was a good ten seconds, he decided to let it drop again and shifted his attention to his menu.

''What was this story about again? Where is Jesus-kun when you need him?''

[Training his new and only friend on the outskirts of the city.]

{Should we visit them?}

''Hell yeah! But where is he?'' Another unexplained wind popped up from behind him and pushed the merc to what would be his left.

''Guess we go that way.''

* * *

In a simple hour, the Merc with a Mouth finally reached the destination where the two players were training. It seemed the red-haired player had finally defeated his boar, his cry one that could only be described as one of a happy child.

''What was that description, OP? It was more like a roar of a man, proud of his accomplishment, than that of a child. Especially as a side character.''

[You don't know that.]

{Maybe he is the main character in this story.}

It took only a second before the merc entered a state of uncontrollable laughter and it took him another two full minutes to snap out of it, but not before drawing the attention of the two players in front of him.

''Can I help you?'' the black-haired boy asked.

''Ah yes, ….''

[Why is he bleeping the whole sentence?]

{Maybe we're undercover?}

[In that case, play the part!]

''Ah yes, I saw you two pretty boys attacking that wild monster and I was wondering if you could help me with some basic things?'' Deadpool continued, attempting to act naive. ''You know, since this amazing game has no tutorial or such.''

''Sure… why not? I'm Kirito by the way.''

''I'm Klein.''

[We entered the wrong story.]

{OP, you had one job!}

''Sir Deadpool is the name. You must have heard of me.''

''Nope. Awesome outfit though. Where did you get it so early in the game?'' the puzzled red-haired pirate, Klein, inquired.

''Let's just say, it's a gift from a friend,'' Deadpool smiled, leering strangely around him as he tried to follow an invisible camera before eventually shifting his attention back to the two players in front of him.

''Anyway…. let's get back to the training. What is it you want to know?'' The black-haired swordsman asked.

''Everything. I haven't got a single clue on how this game works.''

Kirito, better known as ''Jesus-kun'', had his work laid in front of him as he began to explain to both players what all of the mechanics in the game were for. It was for that reason, the Merc with a Mouth came to the understanding that another thing had happened to him that was unique in the game of Sword Art Online.

''You have got to tell me where you got those skills…'' Klein insisted as he saw the Merc with a Mouth teleport from one place to another and pull weapons from out of, basically, thin air. Both skills of which were granted to him by his first two skill slots:

-Teleportation, 100/1000-

-Magic Satchel 1/1000-

''These skills were not even there in the beta…. Where did you get them?'' the black-haired swordsman asked, bewildered.

''What can I say? I have generous friends.'' The merc stated, still trying to find that damn camera.

While Deadpool was examining and abusing the living heck out of his two skills, throwing all of his level 1 weapons at the boars until they were buried under them, the two players behind him shared a familiar moment, known by anyone that read or saw the script of the original story.

''You are not even going to tell? Lazy OP, really…''

[It's not like it adds anything to story.]

{And we do?}

''Good point.''

It was then Deadpool heard the familiar sound of bells in the distance. ''Showtime!''

* * *

When the blue light around the Merc with a Mouth vanished again, he noticed he stood in the giant plaza of the Town of Beginnings, where thousands of players….

''Yeah, we know that already! Stop telling the reader what they know and get to the good part!''

[You know what's going to happen now?]

{Of course not, he fell asleep during the first episode.}

''Can you blame me? Only people who had no idea what was going to happen were thrilled to see it. I hope Kayaba at least makes some movie references.''

[That would be nice.]

{Don't count on it.}

''Where are those two anyway? This plaza is actually really big when you think about it…''

While the merc continued to converse with his inner thoughts, he realized, for the first time, the size of the world of Sword Art Online, watching as the sky turned red with system warnings and a red-coated spirit appeared amongst the chaos.

''Welcome to my world, players. I am Kayaba Akihiko. From this point on, I am the only one who controls this world.''

''Did you just copy that from your other story?! Damn, I have never seen a lazier writer in my life.''

[Lazy, but clever.]

{Why type things twice when you have them on speed dial?}

''Again, good point. Now, let the movie references come!''

Unfortunately for the merc in red, the giant shadow of Kayaba Akihiko was not planning to do such thing. Not being able to skip this part of script either, Deadpool tried to summon a gun out of thin air and shoot himself in the head, only to be disappointed this world had no such weapons at its disposal.

''Again, wrong world, OP. Next time, spawn us in GGO.''

[Then we'd have some time for some rock and roll.]

{And to shoot the living crap out of everyone without breaking the law.}

''I have a gift for you all. Please check your inventories now.''

''Stop with the copying, you lazy bastard! Yeesh.'' With a disappointed look on his face, the merc opened his inventory and materialized the item in his inventory.

''Ah, yes, the mirror. Everyone's favorite moment of the game.'' The merc stated sarcastically before lifting a bit of his mask off, only to see his ugly skin from reality.

''No need to put it in those words, man. That hurts.''

Before Deadpool could say anything more though, a light enveloped him. When he looked at himself in the mirror again, his grip on it and the mask still tight, he could see his skin had changed from the earlier wrinkles to become smooth and firm, leaving no traces of the terrible decease that had once roamed his body.

''Wait, what? Was that in the original script?! I need a bigger mirror!''

Before Kayaba could even finish his breath-taking revelation on what this world truly had become, the merc was already making his way to the border of the plaza and waited desperately for the idiot Kayaba to finally finish that damn cutscene.

''You say it, OP.''

[Guess he's not so bad after all.]

{At least he gave us these powers.}

''And some goddamn smooth skin. I need to see the rest of it now!''

When Kayaba disappeared and the protective shield around the plaza vanished, the merc abused his teleportation skill yet again. He made it to the closest inn, hired a room and took a quick look at his body after pressing the -Unequip- button twice, leaving nothing to the imagination.

''You have a way of words, OP, I give you that much. Holy shit! I look like Ryan Reynolds.''

[Japanese Ryan Reynolds to be exact.]

{Doesn't matter. Love you, OP.}

''Even the dick is the same!''

[I think that was a bit too much information for the viewers.]

{Or not…}

With everything equipped again, Deadpool walked out of the inn, only to notice many players walking towards the north side of the city, where the borders of Aincrad were.

''Oh no. I don't like the way those words were written. Too heavy.''

[Like he's saying something terrible is going to happen there.]

{We haven't paid enough attention to the original story to know what's going to happen, did we?}

It was that moment a wind smoothly struck the Merc with a Mouth to his side, right in the direction where the other players were walking to.

''Guess we have to go that way. Would be easier if you just told me what I had to do instead of that wind garbage, OP.'' Another quick whirlwind lifted a mirror that was left behind on the plaza up before launching it at the merc's head.

''Alright, alright… Yeesh, a bit of a short fuse there. Nothing to be embarrassed about.''

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the merc had made it as one of the first to the border of Aincrad.

''Aincrad! That's what this place is called! Forgot about that already. Thanks for reminding me, bud!''

[Bit of useless information.]

{But we have to reach that word quota, right?}

Approaching the border were the initial players that had made their way after Kayaba's retreat. There was only one thing on their mind at this desperate moment: to jump from the border of Aincrad into the abyss, which would be the last thing they see before leaving both worlds.

''Jesus Christ, man. I get it. Heavy stuff.''

[Well, you said he had a way with words.]

{Doesn't mean it's always the right kind of words.}

''Wait… is that why I'm here? To save these people from killing themselves?''

[And turning this world from a murderous game into a world you can actually live in.]

{Ah, that makes much more sense….}

Just kill them all!

''Wait, where did that voice come from?''

[Don't pay attention to him.]

{Yeah, he killed the Marvel universe ones. Guess that's not where OP wants to go with this story.}

While the merc had his internal conversation, the first player had already made his way as close to the edge as he could stand. He closed his eyes and slowly leaned forward, until his feet left the ground and he fell into the endless sky below him.

''Fine, but just because you made me look good. Skadoosh!''

[Ah, a Kung Fu Panda reference.]

{Never gets old.}

[Guess no one is going to understand that one.]

{Well, you got to love the Wuxi Finger Hold.}

With the speed of his teleporter skill, Deadpool appeared next to the player falling, grabbed him and teleported back to the surface. When three other players tried to do the same, he jumped after them as well, teleporting them back to safety.

''Oh yeah! Hero Deadpool to the rescue!''

''Hero? Why stop us from falling then… and what was that skill anyway?'' The first boy asked, bewildered and annoyed.

''Now I see why Spidey is so edgy sometimes. People are just so stubborn and ungrateful.''

''Look, I don't know who you are, but get the hell out of my way!'' the boy now thundered before the red-pyjamaed, self-proclaimed hero. It was at that moment Deadpool pushed the boy down and spoke to everyone present.

''Okay! Everyone feeling just as stubborn and determined as this boy to die can come in front of me. I will do the act for you freely and quickly.''

The players in front of Deadpool looked at him with terrified expressions, not knowing what to say or do.

[Was that a bit much?]

{We made a pizza-delivery guy piss his pants for stalking his ex. Guess we are still in the safe zone of acting.}

[How does that fit here?]

{Because, ''insert alien guy meme here 'Anime Logic''}

Eventually, one boy spoke, still with wide eyes, as the despair on his face was only strengthened by the emotion system of Aincrad.

''Sir, do you want to kill us?''

''No, of course not. But yeah, it's that or watch you fall down an endless pit of misery, having only witnessed the start of what you tried to escape before dying. Now, you can do that as everyone in the real-world cries over your death, which is very certainly not a lie like that fucking piece of garbage, Kayaba Akihiko, spoke about. Or, you can wait until someone saves us from the outside or someone completes the game, while you enjoy a situation millions of weebs dream about.''

[Language.]

{M-rated, captain.}

The boy before Deadpool stared at the ground at those words so casually preached by the in-red-hull player before him, tears rolling down his face.

''How can you dream of a world that kills you?''

''Don't know. Some people just do. Now, stop trying to kill yourself, get back to the city and try to enjoy the endless possibilities of virtual reality. From what I've heard, everything is so easy even a child could do it.''

[I believe that is the point of the game.]

{Isn't Jesus-kun a child too?}

[Yes, but he's Jesus-kun.]

{Good point.}

While the players in front of him gave up on throwing themselves over the ridge because of a simple talk and ''for the plot'', the mercenary in red had other things on his mind.

''That's right. We've still got to find Jesus-kun. Nice reference to my comics by the way, OP. Must be a fan.''

[Or just someone that found them on the internet while trying to understand our movies.]

{Well, it's something.}

A sudden message in his HUD drew the attention of the merc-in-red as he shifted his attention to the flashing - ! - in his HUD. When he pressed it, his quest log was updated, containing the following quests;

\- Clear the hundredth floor of Aincrad –

\- Save as many players as you can –

\- Find a recipe for chimichangas-

{Oh, chimichangas!}

Under the quests also read another message in a bright red color;

\- Warning. Being killed in this world results in eternal torture in a world of cows. –

''You son of a ….! And stop bleeping that shit out!''

[Well, at least we know what to do.]

With those last thoughts, Deadpool ventured into the darkness of the lands, his overpowered abilities of basically 'Unlimited Blade Works' and teleportation at his disposal.

* * *

 **Author note:**

Well, that was it for chapter 1. **Bam!**

''Seriously, leave the talking to me. That first sentence was already boring as hell.''

''As my boring pal was saying, this was the amazing start of my story of this well animated, but poorly executed due to some lack of source material, anime. Now, time for your friendly neighborhood mercenary to change that, right?''

''Also, this is just the start of a series of my shenanigans. If everyone likes it just the way this amazing bastard here likes it, follow or favorite this story and leave a review in the comments. Please, no hate, because the boy already has a lack of confidence. Just constructive criticism and love. Well, that was all. Kisses, Deadpool.''

Seriously, what have I incurred myself to... Anyway, that was chapter 1. Thank you Fate-of-Wishes for beta reading this. Hope you legends enjoyed it and hope this story gets enough love for me to continue it.

Beyor out -


	2. Chapter 2: Duo with Jesus-kun?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sword Art Online or Deadpool. Both franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.

* * *

"Did you really just start a new chapter after a time skip of only a few hours?"

[He just wanted to make sure people liked the idea.]

{Who can't like this story? We're Deadpool!}

Wondering through the forests of the first floor, whilst occasionally using his broken Teleport skill, the Mercenary in red had already crossed a great distance. However, if he had paid more attention to the black-haired player's explanation – "Jesus-kun" – he would have understood that there was a thing called a floor map.

However, it so happens that the Merc in Red did not listen to the beta tester and did not use the map to its full capabilities. Thus, resulting in an hour-long loop of walking and teleporting, with the occasional mob spawning in the pitch-black darkness of the night.

"Couldn't you have said that any sooner? Damn it, man."

[He is right, you know.]

{Where is this map located in the menu anyway?}

Before anyone could react, even if they wanted to, another group of Dire Wolves spawned before the monologuing player in red. It was during one of his first fights alone the Merc in Red understood another important thing in Sword Art Online.

The so-called Sword Skills, for example, the basic Sword Skill -Vertical-, requires a player to have the skill slot -One Handed Sword-. In other words, Deadpool could not use sword skills, an important asset to defeat monsters and earn experience.

"Don't be so dramatic, OP. There are more ways than one to get to Rome," The Merc with a Mouth said to himself as he teleported on to the branches of a tree, materialized a spear, and began to throw one after another at the wolves below him. After the 15th spear, joining the other 14 spears sticking out of the first Dire wolf, the creature vanished into oblivion.

With no way to reach the top, as the continuous damage received over time by the many weapons thrown prevented them, the wolves were still trying to determine if they should continue to surround the tree. That, or if they should retreat for not being able to attack the player head-on. However, before the algorithm of their CPU could decide, another 30 spears spelt the end of the remaining hungry beasts.

"You are really doing this just for the word quota, aren't you?"

[Details are important though.]

{But too much is a pain in the ass to read.}

After taking a short rest in the safety of the tree, as well as finding the map floor data, the Merc resumed his march. Fifteen minutes passed by when a sound of a loud screech entered his ear from his front.

"Guess we gotta check it out."

[Maybe it's Jesus-kun.]

Without a second to waste, the Merc in Red jumped forward, abusing his Teleport skill to the max. When he finally reached the location he believed the sound came from, he heard the sound of a group of monsters, the swish of a sword and the wails of a crying baby as he witnessed two players holding back a horde of Little Neplents.

Before Deadpool could even react on the whole scenario in front of him – a young black-haired boy beating the living shit out of an eyeless leek and another player, barely noticeable due to the Hiding Skill in Fetal Position – he received another pop-up in his HUD. Deadpool shifted his attention to the flashing -!- and received the following message; -Item added to inventory: Sword Art Online, guide and script for dummies.-

"Finally, been asking since chapter 1 for this thing."

[It was probably not easy to make.]

{Or OP didn't have enough patience.}

While the Merc in Red made the sweeping motion with his fingers and materialized the book, the two players were still going at it. The black-haired boy may have been in the clear, but the second boy realized he was surrounded by monsters that could still smell him.

"It would have been something else they smelled if that inventor was a little tiny bit more realistic in certain aspects of the game."

[Toilet aspects.]

{We would be throwing poop all day.}

"Good point." The Mercenary answered himself as he shifted his attention to the book in front of him. The second boy was now shouting as he tried to find an escape from his dire situation.

"Let's see. Script, characters, how to perform Sword Skills, the reason for this story, monsters, quests, bladi bladi blah. Chapter Two… to get a new strong weapon, Kirito teams up with a beta tester called Coper." The Merc in Red returned his focus to the chaotic scene in front of him, looking at the black-haired boy and the other screaming boy before shifting his attention back to the book.

"Guess we're here. How can one survive a horde of monsters this long anyway? Coper attempted to MPK Kirito, but the plan backfires and he finds himself on the short end shortly after.''

{So, we have to save a kid who just tried to indirectly kill his partner?}

[This is going to be lovely.]

One last cry for help echoed through the air, before the health bar of the player known as Coper entered the red. Feeling every bit of regret running through his mind, fear started to overwhelm the player until-

"Hello there."

"What?" the boy gasped before being teleported back to safety, next to the black-haired boy to be more precise.

[He failed the meme.]

{We should have left him to die!}

The three players turned to watch where the boy had just been, the large group of Little Neplents looking around themselves before retreating to another place on the map.

"What just happened? Sir Deadpool, what are you doing here?" Kirito asked the player who had just joined them.

"Missing one heck of a party it seems. Like the new look by the way."

[No homo.]

{For Jesus-kun, we can go full homo.}

[We are only T/M-rated and he is only 14.]

While Deadpool continued with his internal monologuing, Kirito had no idea how to react to the compliment. The young boy next to him shifted his attention to the last retreating Little Neplents, before the player next to him and then the mysterious red-pajamaed player in front of him. Silent tears began to roll down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry."

Kirito and Deadpool's attention were immediately drawn to the player in brown, not knowing what to say. The first to speak was Coper, who continued his apology.

"I was afraid we would receive the quest item only once. It was an act of desperation. You can understand that, right?" the boy asked, now almost pleading. Kirito and Deadpool shared a confounded look before the Merc in Red spoke.

"Yare Yare Daze… [Another reference.] {This is only the start!} Look, you have done something truly stupid, almost killing Mr. Pretty Boy here and, if it wasn't for me, killing yourself as well. Next time just try to work together. Makes life in a death game a little bit easier, am I right?" Both boys nodded to the Merc's statement.

"That being said, you have to leave. Sorry, but after experiencing such a thing, we simply can't trust you anymore."

[His time was up anyway.]

{Once a side character, always a side character.}

The brown-haired boy nodded in defeat and made his way back to the nearest safe zone. When the boy finally was out of the player's sight, Kirito shifted his attention back to his old party member and spoke.

"Sorry about that. Thanks for the save."

"No problem, pal. Speaking of pals, where's our red-haired friend Balls – euhm… Klein."

[Dodged a bullet right there.]

{The Neo of Sword Art Online, baby!}

The black-haired boy's expression complicated, the once grateful face replaced by a shadowed regret.

"It's a bit of a long story," the boy finally answered.

[We may have to read the script later.] Deadpool looked back to the boy.

"I understand. At least don't ignore him like you guys have never met when he messages you. You may come to regret that later." Deadpool replied with a serious tone?

[What are you so surprised about?]

{We can be understanding. Sometimes… rarely… but we can!}

The black-haired swordsman made an attempt to smile and the two old-but-really-only-one-hour party members decided to travel together until the quest's completion. It was at that moment the boy received a private message.

"Sorry, sir Deadpool. I have to go. Someone asked for some information regarding the latest quest and I have a meeting with them later on." The black-haired boy replied. Fully caught up to the story, however, Deadpool was having none of it.

[He's pulling a Klein on us!]

{Oh hell no!}

"I don't mind joining you. Maybe I could be of use to them as well someday."

"I guess that is a good point. A bit of advice though, my contact is a bit… impulsive."

[Crazy?]

{Sounds like they are fun to spent time with!}

Thirty minutes later, in an empty tavern in the town of Horunka, the duo turned around to see a brown-coated player entering, six drawn whiskers that described her nickname in the beta all too well. Her eyes shifted to the boy in front of her and a large grin forming.

[That's the Rat.]

{Oh yeah. Argo scene incoming!}

"Hi there, Kii-bou. Made a new friend?"

"Sort of. Argo, meet Sir Deadpool, sir Deadpool, Argo the Rat." The black-haired boy introduced the two players to one another.

"DP is just fine. The name is quite a mouth full if you have to keep saying it over and over again. Nice to meet you, beauty."

"Oh, liking you already. Hands off though, or you'll have to pay." The Rat smirked.

[Sassy.]

{I like it!}

Argo returned her focus onto her black-haired friend and spoke.

"Have you done the Secret Medicine of the Forest quest already, Kii-bou?"

"Yeah, just completed it. There have been some annoying changes to it since the beta though." The black-haired boy stated, to the shock of Argo, who was still fully aware of the player next to him.

"Kii-bou, what are you…?"

"Don't worry, missy. I was fully aware of pretty boy's secret identity before the whole event. I am cool with beta testers. Not one myself though."

[What were we doing three months ago?]

{Killing sinister for a 50th time I suppose. Or hanging out with Logan. I am not too sure. I didn't feel that well.}

While Kirito told the Rat everything that happened at the quest and the changes he had found, including the whole event with Coper, Deadpool took the liberty to quickly check his manual for Argo's character.

As he discovered during their travel back to Horunka, the black-haired boy could not see the words written it, meaning Deadpool was the only one that could read this book.

 _Argo the Rat, a.k.a. Izawa Shiori, is the best information broker of Aincrad. Many describe her as crazy, impulsive, straightforward and trustworthy for information, but dangerous when one has a hole in their mouth, figuratively speaking._

[He just had to add that, didn't he?]

{Well, he is well prepared for our comebacks. That's for sure.}

 _She has a great memory, but her behavior hides insecurity. The Rat also has a weakness for her beta friend Kirito._

[Abuse this information?]

{Most definitely!}

When the black-haired boy was finally done, the Merc in Red noticed a flash of worry in the eyes of the Rat as she spoke.

"That idiot Coper. Hope he learned from that experience. Got to thank you for your hard work, DP."

"No problem, love. I was just in the neighborhood." The Rat then shifted her full attention onto the red-pyjamaed player and began her assault of questions.

"Now, what is your secret? Heard about a red-pajamaed player saving some lives at the border of Aincrad. Your doing?"

"Absolutely. I doubt I can really answer any questions though. You wouldn't be able to understand it, no offense to your thinking capabilities of course."

Argo just stared at the Merc in Red with a questionable look on her face, wondering if what the red clothed player said was true. Eventually, she gave up on the latter as a grin remerged on her face.

"Gotta believe you on that. I'm off again, Kii-bou. Be careful out there guys!" Kirito just nodded, following with a "You too," but Deadpool wasn't done just yet.

"Wait just a sec, miss Rat. I know I am not Mr. Pretty Boy, but I can maybe help with finding information. Having a problem with adding another boy to that lovely friend list of yours?" The Rat just smiled, but if you just paid that extra bit of attention to her face, you could see the slightest hint of a blush.

[Still got it.]

"Doesn't sound that bad. Better not disappoint me though."

After adding another one to their friend's list, the girl left the tavern, leaving the duo alone once again. Kirito sighed, sounding both surprised and terrifyingly impressed when he asks the Merc, "Haven't seen anyone handle the Rat that well. Want to join my party?"

[Victory!]

{Achievement accomplished; gain Jesus-kun's trust.}

"Yeah, sure." Deadpool accepted casually, whilst internally a whole party was celebrating in the depths of his mind.

* * *

Three weeks, that was how long the victims of Sword Art Online had been trapped since the start of this death game. 914 players had lost their lives since that time, 394 of them with the familiar description –Connection Failure– while the remaining 520 players due to monsters.

"Could have been a lot less, if this game wasn't so laggy."

"Who are you talking to?" Kirito asked his companion, both players walking through the 18th floor of the first dungeon of Aincrad.

"Ah, not important. Shouldn't we be close to the stairs by now?"

"Doubt it. We just entered the 18th floor." The boy replied. It was at that moment the duo heard a sound coming from afar. Without even thinking for a second, both players made their way towards the source, until they both noticed a red-hooded fencer fighting a Ruin Kobold….

[Fencer and red. Hm.]

{Favorite Tsundere incoming!}

While Deadpool stared at the fencer who showed remarkable skills, despite her tiny sword, eventually defeat the monster in front of her, Kirito stepped forward.

"The entire part of what happens next is in the Writer's other story or Progressive Novel 1."

[Again, it adds nothing to the story if we give you all this information.]

{Instead, we will tell you legends what we have been doing while this bastard had to skip three full weeks of awesome Deadpool moments!}

While Kirito began a conversation with the hooded fencer, who was now leaning against the wall, the Merc in Red began his story.

"Okay, what happened those weeks again? Oh right, Jesus-kun and I fought side by side, killing monsters one after another. I saved some other idiots who were stuck in a bad situation and even gained ten more levels. Got a nice skill as well. Maybe I can show it later. Oh, I paid a visit to Balls a couple of times too. Great fellow."

[If only he could come with us.]

{Maybe one day…}

"Oh, DP? Can I have some help, please?" the black-haired boy suddenly asked, looking worried. When the Merc in Red shifted his attention back to the boy, he noticed the fencer lying down on the ground, completely unconscious.

"Didn't know you were into this kind of thing, Kirito-boy. Maybe a bit fast on your first meeting though."

"Shut up and just help me. If we leave her here, she's not going to survive." The boy retorted, a healthy red color on his face.

"Fine, fine, get that majestic item out of your inventory and let's bring her outside."

One hour later, accompanied by the rhythmic guidance of Deadpool's version of 'Staying Alive', the trio of players, one still unconscious and lying against a tree, sat on the soft grass near the city of Tolbana.

"Staying alive, staying alive, ha, ha, ha, ha." The Merc sang loudly as he moved his body perfectly to the beat in his mind.

"How do you keep coming up with these songs?" the black-haired boy asked, still amazed that the partner he had fought three weeks side-by-side with could still surprise him at this point.

"Don't know. Just can."

[We just follow the groove.]

{And let it just be OP was really in the grove for some old timers.}

It was to that exact image the fencer opened her eyes, beautiful hazelnut pupils adjusting to a huge amount of light from the virtual sun. Her eyes slowly fell upon the two boys, one in red dancing to nothing and one in black, sitting against the tree.

When the two players noticed the girl waking up, four eyes, two black onyx and two hazel-brown under a red mask, stared at her. She didn't care much for the masked idiot, but the black onyx eyes of the black-haired player in front of her created small fireworks in the confines of her chest and mind.

"Oh, that is so uncool."

[Could be worse.]

{Still hurts though.}

"You should have left me. I was ready to die." The fencer stated bluntly, in an emptiness that could all but be heard in her voice.

 _Another copy… Really…?_

[Again, why type a conversation twice,]

{When you have it on speed dial.}

While Deadpool had yet again another internal monologue, Kirito answered the fencer.

"I didn't save you."

"Then why didn't you leave me back then?"

"I only wanted your map data," the black-haired swordsman lied, turning. "If you have been fighting for four days straight, you must have mapped out a good amount of unexplored land. It would be a waste if that was for nothing."

Asuna was at a loss for words at the simple logic in that sentence, not even prepared to come up with a reason as to why not to give the information to the boy before her.

"Okay, enough!" The Merc in Red stated bluntly, both players overcome with surprise at the sudden outburst. What both players did not know, was that Deadpool for once was well-informed of the fencer before him, thanks to his manual for dummies.

{What do you mean for once?}

 _Asuna, Lighting Flash, a.k.a._ _Asuna Yuuki is known as a total newbie at the start of Sword Art Online. Entering the world by accident, the girl had no idea what was in store for her. After fighting alongside the black-swordsman for a while, she eventually grew out of her shell and became one of the most inspiring vice-leaders of the front lines, fighting side by side with her in-game husband Kirito._

[How about we speed that up a bit.]

{Hoping she can at least open her menu first.}

"What Mr. Pretty Boy here is saying is partly true, but he is forgetting the most important part." The fencer stared at the Merc in Red with surprised and tired eyes while the black-haired swordsman had another "Oh shit," moment.

"The reason my boy and I saved your pretty ass, Miss Depressive, was that he noticed the potential in your sword skill. What was it again you said to me, she was like a shooting star?" The Merc stated with a grin, forcing the black-haired boy to look away with a burning red face. The fencer stared very intensely to the ground, attempting to hide her similarly beet-red face which now blended perfectly with her hood.

"If not for the newbie mistakes he picked up, he would probably be a bit envious. You got potential to survive this game, girl." To those words, the fencer suddenly lifted her face with an even more shocked expression, as she believed she had heard enlightenment itself.

"You really think so?" the fencer asked hopeful, Kirito internally shouting Please don't promise things you can't make true!

[Like we pay attention to that.]

{We are not the one she has to work with eventually.}

"As long as you stay by this boy's side, that is a certainty."

"Then let me join your party and assist you where I can!" the fencer suddenly announced with a new found determination in her clear, but tired, eyes. Kirito stared at the Merc in Red with what could only be described as his What the fuck?! face.

[First ship is set.]

{The only thing we need is water.}

[And a boat.]

* * *

When the new group of three entered the town of Tolbana, the black-haired boy still internally cursing like no other to his partner, the three noticed a large crowd standing in the center of the town.

"Seems a lot of people have gathered for the floor boss meeting." The black-haired boy mentioned, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"We need to move our asses if we still want a place to sit, companions." The Merc suggested.

When both players nodded to that statement, one a bit more affirmative than the other, the trio made their way to the theatre of the town. It was there, the Merc with a Mouth noticed the Rat in the shadows.

{Argo!}

[We're doing this?]

"Hell yeah!"

Before the fencer, that was now known as Asuna and Kirito could even ask what that random reaction was for, the Merc in Red vanished from his spot and landed next to the Rat, the whiskered player showing quite the surprised expression.

"What was that just now?" the hooded fencer asked bewildered.

"Teleportation. He had it since the start of the game. No idea how he gained it though." Kirito replied, for once not even shocked by the actions of his party member.

"Hello, darling. How is my favorite rodent?"

[Not to be confused with an animal.]

{Mr. Snuggles is still number one in that category.}

"Doing well, DP. So, any new information for me?"

"You are going to love this."

When the Merc with a Mouth was finally done retelling everything he experienced, as well as the whole situation with the fencer, who was now sitting next to his favorite beta tester, the Rat displayed one of her famous grins again.

"Thanks DP. Knew I could count on you. How much for it?"

"Darling, just give me a big hug. That's what the viewers want." Argo gave up on trying to understand the boy before her, simply placing two arms around the Merc in Red in a tight squish, Deadpool following her example.

"We can do this more often." The Rat said softly, something as simple as a good hug happening to be one of her greatest moments in Aincrad.

"Oh darling, you should hug pretty boy for once. Has the best hugs one can give and that ass… two for the price of one." The Merc stated bluntly with a wink, a healthy red color spreading across the Rat's face.

"Really? And how do you know?"

"Love, you have to experience it. That butt… you should look at it more often. It's gorgeous." The Rat smiled at that statement, although her face was still a bit redder than it was before.

"Not such a bad idea. Seems the meeting is about to start. You better hurry up before Kii-bou gives your spot away."

"Ah yes. Bye love!" the Merc waved as he jumped back to his spot, the fencer shooting up from the sudden pop-up next to her.

[Second ship is a go.]

{Captain, we are ready for lift-off!}

It was only a few minutes later the meeting for the first-floor boss began. A blue-haired boy stepped forward, his scimitar and shield at his side and a group of five players standing a few feet behind him. Deadpool materialized his book and searched for the chapter he was in now. While the boy before the thirty-six players did what seemed to come naturally to him, Deadpool ignored him and started to read.

 _Let's see…. Chapter 4. The meeting in Tolbana. A blue-haired beta boy named Diavel has set up a meeting in Tolbana. Everything is going well until a certain boy comes and decides to be rather cancerous towards the beta testers. It is that moment a black-skinned man comes forward and protects the beta testers from accusation._

The Merc in Red wanted to read further, if it weren't for a sudden annoying shout to take away his concentration.

"Wait a minute!"

[And there we have him.]

{We should at least make his entrance glorious!}

A brown, spiked-haired boy appeared from behind the theatre and jumped down the stairs in an ungracious matter. It was when the boy reached the fourth step from the eight, that a sudden red leg could be seen. The boy then fell forward, face first onto the fifth step, the sixth step and eventually landed in a collision on his butt.

"Who did that?!" the boy thundered. At the same time, the Merc in Red pulled his leg back as he whistled in blame. The boy still had no idea who it was, even when signs appeared around the Merc.

"Hm. Whatever. My name is Kibaou, and I have something to say!"

[How did he not notice us?]

{He's a fool!}

"I know there are beta testers around here. And I will not trust beta players until they confess what they are. They left us in the Town of Beginnings and have taken all the good quests to get a lead on the rest of us! They are responsible for all the deaths since the beginning of this game! I want them to stand in front of this crowd and abandon their earned loot for the traitors they are!"

"Another copy…. I shouldn't even mention this anymore."

[Then why do you?]

{To make sure that the readers know OP is lazy.}

Rumors and murmurs spread around the tribune until a black-skinned person stepped forward, his black bold head and enormous size making the spiked-haired boy quiver back in fear.

{It's hot chocolate axe! Or Thunder Lion?}

[No, it's Tiffany.]

"May I speak?" When no one was against the black bold player to speak, he began his plea.

"My name is Agil. [Nope, still the original] {At least he is black}, If I have this right, Kibaou, you're claiming that many newbies died because the former beta testers didn't help them, and therefore they ought to apologize and pay reparations? Is that correct?"

"Y-yeah," the boy stuttered in fear before the giant man in front of him. While Agil gave a remarkable argument to the accusing player in front of him, Deadpool almost fell asleep in his place.

"Can you blame me? These guys are boring. I like it better how you did it in your other story, OP. That smack felt absolutely right."

[So satisfying.]

{I like Saint's overwhelming rock attack as well.}

[Another fourth wall break on another fanfic?]

{We're breaking so many walls here!}

The meeting ended shortly after that, and the three players made their way to the plaza of the Tolbana. After changing Asuna's Iron Rapier to a Wind Fleuret and testing it out in the fields, the trio made their way back to their temporary home, the girl's tired eyes shining sparkly for the boy mentioning the word bath.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

That was it for chapter 2. Hope you guys enjoyed! **Intercepts Deadpool's punch and punches back.** Not this time.

Anyway, hope you guys all enjoyed the second chapter of this story. Had a blast writing it.

Five followers and three favorites in the first week, what more can a writer wish for? Thanks for the amazing review, I appreciated the nice words from the bottom of my heart. More reviews are greatly appreciated because they mean a lot to me. Like I mentioned in my other story (a bit of self-advertising isn't that bad), it changes you guys from simple numbers to people.

Thank you Fate-Of-Wishes for beta reading this chapter.

Hope to see you legends in the next one. Beyor out!


	3. Chapter 3: Red, Giant, fat Boss fight!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sword Art Online or Deadpool. All are owned by the respective owners.

* * *

"You're still here? You have some balls coming this far…"

[Of course they've come this far. They want to read more of us.]

{We're just so amazing!}

While Deadpool kept himself company, getting some free milk from the first floor of the farm where the trio were staying, the fencer known as Asuna was enjoying a hot bath on her own. At the same time, an awkward boy of fourteen years of age wondered if he had to leave the farm, stay in the bed just next to the bathroom, or just jump straight through a window.

"If he already hates this part, he is going to be absolutely shocked about the next situation."

[We are following progressive?]

{With our own touch added to it!}

With four cans of milk in his inventory, the Merc in Red walked up the stairs again and stepped into the room, noticing his partner scrolling violently through the manual.

"I can't believe she made me pay for it! She contributed this thing for free, for crying out loud!"

"What can I say? You're easy to mess around with, pretty boy." While Kirito still had trouble dealing with his nickname, the Merc absolutely refused to call him by his avatar name.

{And he knows it!}

Deadpool lay himself down on the other bed. It was not much later a knock on the door made itself heard.

"Are you expecting someone?" the black-haired swordsman asked, confused.

"Nope, not me. Can't keep them waiting though." The Merc answered as he jumped forward with his broken skill and appeared in front of the door. When he opened it, he was met with the Rat standing before him.

[Who didn't see that one coming?]

"Ah, DP. Mind letting me in?"

"Argo?! What are you doing here?" Kirito cried out as he shot up from his bed, most certainly not expecting the Rat visiting him.

"Business, as usual, Kii-bou. Got a new offer for you."

"Want some milk with that?" the Merc in Red asked as he had materialized the can of milk.

"Sure." Both players answered. While Deadpool poured three glasses of milk in some cups he summoned with his other broken skill, for it could not only summon weapons but also other basic stuff, the whiskered girl began her story.

"Got a new offer for your weapon. 40k."

"40k…. Why so much Col for an Annual Blade +4? Can you summon it already, partner?"

"Annual Blade +4? Let's see," the Merc answered as he reached behind his back and pulled a spear out of thin air. The Rat started, still not used to the whole phenomenon before her.

"No that's not it, maybe in here…." The Merc mumbled as he reached father down and pulled a double axe from his back. "Nope. More to the side maybe?" Feeling something, he finally pulled up an Annual Blade +2 from his back. "Nope, only +2 so far."

[Otherwise, we would be too broken.]

{That skill hasn't levelled up in weeks!}

"You're still not accepting it, are you?" The Rat asked, taking note of the black-haired boy's expression.

"Correct. I do wonder who wants it so desperately though…"

[Should we tell him?]

{That is what we are here for!}

"Well," Deadpool began, drawing both Argo and Kirito's attention. "If you spend a lot of money for someone's weapon, more than it's worth in this case, you buy it to make sure the seller doesn't have it anymore. If you take that route of thoughts, the buyer has to know that Mr. Pretty Boy here was a beta tester and is going to stand in his way for… a certain objective."

Both players stared, confound, at the Merc in Red, not expecting such a logical explanation to come from the troll himself.

[We're not that bad.]

{Are we?}

"Sounds like you have an idea to who it could be. Care to share those ideas with us, partner?" the black-haired boy asked.

"You mentioned something about that last attack item the other day, right? Where you get that super rare item when you kill the boss?"

"Yeah. The ones Kii-bou got almost every-time in the beta." The Rat joking mentioned as she gazed teasingly at her beta friend.

"So, what you're looking for, is someone from that time that knows you're a threat to get that item," Deadpool explained. Argo shifted her attention to the black-haired boy.

"I get why you keep him hanging around with you."

"These moments are rare though," the swordsman answered with a sigh.

Argo continued, "So, you believe it's a beta tester?"

"Not just any beta tester. Mr. Blue Knight himself." Both players gasped in shock at the sudden revelation.

"Diavel? You're kidding me!"

"Of course not, partner. Didn't you see his smirk when that cactus kid got proven wrong? I tell you, he's the one that wants that sword of yours." Silence rang in the air until the Rat broke it with a simple request.

"Now that I'm here anyway, I'm going to use your bathroom for a second. Hope you don't mind."

Before the black-haired swordsman even realized that the fencer was still in the bathroom, the Rat already was near the door. In that moment Deadpool proved himself useful once again as he teleported right in front of her.

"Not so fast, love. We have a visitor butt-naked in there. You might scare her if you jump in like that."

"Oh. Got a girl in here, Kii-bou?" the Rat asked with her signature grin, ready to spread this rumor all over Aincrad. While the black-haired boy was glad one disaster was avoided, he cursed his red-pyjamaed partner for this one.

[He's never happy.]

"What's your price?" the boy answered, knowing the Rat all too well. Argo didn't even have to think before answering that question.

"Heard from a source that you are quite a hugger, Kii-bou. How about you give me a free pass to that privilege and I will not say a word."

A grin spread on the Merc's face, but none could see it under that ridiculous mask. Kirito, however, knew fully well who that source had to be as he noticed his partner whistling like an innocent child.

"I'm not sure if any of that is true, but I'll take the deal." The boy proceeded uncertainly to his whiskered friend. It was shortly after that, while the Merc shifted his attention intentionally to the script for dummies, the two shared a short and intiate hug with one another.

"What do you know... He wasn't even wrong…" the Rat whispered to herself as she closed her eyes momentarily and enjoyed that feeling a little bit longer.

[And they say we can't ship.]

{Who says that?}

It was a few moments later the Rat left again and the fencer came out of the bath, this time her hood from her head, to make way for her long chestnut brown….

"Shut up, it's my time now!"

* * *

While Deadpool enjoyed his bath time with his rubber ducky, which he summoned again with his -Magic Satchel 10/1000-, Kirito and Asuna sat on opposite beds, an awkward silence hanging in the air. Eventually, it was the fencer who spoke first.

"Thank you for the bath, Kirito."

"Yeah, no problem." The boy responded shortly. One moment later, a growl echoed in the room, coming from the fencer's stomach. "Oh right. You haven't eaten yet."

"It's okay. It's not like we have to eat in this world anyway." The girl softly mentioned, a saddened expression taking over.

"True, but I'm not letting you join the boss fight on an empty stomach. As partners, you need to cover each other in times of need and that doesn't work when you're hungry." The boy lightly lectured as he materialized a piece of bread and a bottle.

Asuna stared curiously at the actions that followed as Kirito pressed the bottle and touched the bread, where suddenly a jelly-like substance appeared out of nowhere.

"This should help a bit with the bad taste. Can't promise it'll taste a whole lot better, though."

Asuna took a small bite, waited a few seconds and went into a full assault, like a predator who hadn't eaten in days. When she was finally done, she let out a content sigh. Kirito just stared at the fencer at this point, not knowing what he had to say. Eventually, he apologized.

"Sorry about my partner's rudeness this afternoon. He has a habit of just speaking his mind, without any restraints, as you might have noticed."

"Guess that was a bit earned. Do you believe what he said is true?" the fencer asked, a twinge of hope in her voice.

"I can't say. I hate to admit it, but he got my part right though." The boy answered with a red face, the fencer showing a tiny smile on her lips. "Your attacks are quick and your movements are solid. The fact that man himself also stated it, says enough."

"Why him?" the fencer asked curiously. The boy let out another sigh before answering her question.

"When I started this game, I taught him and another player the basics. His Teleportation skill and other skill where he picks things out of thin air were pretty impressive, but he couldn't change them to get a weapon class to fight with swords skills. Later that day, after I met him again in a forest, he showed me that he had no need for them." The boy became lost in his thoughts, remembering and replaying the moves of the Merc in Red within his mind.

"It was like he had real experience with the weapons. Axes, hammers, swords, spears, it simply didn't matter. He used one after another in rapid succession."

"I see. So, despite his honesty and rudeness, he is strong." Kirito nodded to that statement. A few seconds later, the fencer spoke again. "Thank you."

"What for?" the boy asked, confused.

"For this meal. For this bath. For admitting what your partner said was true. For giving me a bit of hope…" the girl softly mentioned that last part, barely audible to the boy in front of her.

[Two ships, one chapter.]

{Things can only get better at this point.}

* * *

With 45 members joining the raid group, the party made their way towards the dungeon of the first floor. Five teams at the ready to attack the boss -Ilfang the Kobold Lord- head-on while three other teams had to keep the ads at bay.

Kirito and Asuna walked beside one another, while Deadpool began a conversation with one of the other teams, starting with the black friendly axe wielder.

"Interesting weapon you got there, pal. Must weigh a ton."

"It's a bit heavy, but nothing that I can't handle. Have we met before?"

"Only at the meeting yesterday. Not personally though. The name is Sir Deadpool, DP for short."

"Agil. These are Wolfgang, Lowbacca, Naijan, Shivata, and Okotan." The friendly giant introduced the Merc to his party members and vice versa.

"Nice to meet you guys. If you need anything during the battle, give me a call."

"Like what?" the other axe wielder named Wolfgang asked curiously. It was that moment Deadpool pulled a two-handed axe from behind his back.

"I don't know, maybe this? Not as good as your weapon I think, but it should be sufficient if you come short, don't you think?"

"How did you equip that thing…? I didn't even see the materialize animation…."

"Little secret. Maybe I'll tell you guys later. Just give me a call if you need something, alright?"

When the boys nodded again, the Merc shifted his attention to the next party. The six players all shared the same thought; what was that? After two hours, the group finally arrived at the doors in one piece and a short but clear message could be heard from the blue-haired raid leader.

"Let's win." With those small words, he opened the door, announcing the start of the first-floor battle.

* * *

45 players walked into a dark large room, only to make the boss that much more dramatic when the lights turned brightly and the giant, red kobold could be seen on the other side of the giant room.

"Time for action!"

{Let's do this!}

[OP, time for This is War!]

With the awesome background music of the band 30 Seconds to Mars inside his head, the Merc waited for the right moment to engage with the enemy. When the floor boss finally prepared himself to jump forward, he knew what he had to do.

"One for All, Full Cowling." The Merc whispered as he imagined lighting in his feet and teleported the moment the giant rat was mid-air.

"Shooting style!" the Merc shouted as he kicked the giant kobold in the back, the beast landing face-forward on the ground. When the boss shifted his full attention on the Merc, he jumped towards him in the air. Deadpool made a hand sign before vanishing just in time with his teleport skill, to appear right behind him.

"Ninjutsu, Manipulated Tools: Heavenly Chain Disaster!" the Merc cried out as he threw one weapon after another against the flying beast, to the witnessing eye, it truly seemed as of these moves were from a different anime. For one that paid more attention though, he was just faking every single attack he threw at the giant beast.

-Mimic, 10/1000-

-Description: Every reference attack that is performed will influence the mobs and the players around you.-

On the chorus of the song, Deadpool clashed another few times with the giant beast, barely doing any damage despite him basically overwhelming the giant beast with his skills, the boss destroying every weapon the Merc threw at him. At the same time, the others of the raiding party just stared at him with wide open eyes.

"How the hell is he doing that?" the spiked-hair boy shouted in his annoying voice.

It was when the Merc had had enough, he teleported back to his group and lost the aggro of the boss as well.

"Sorry about that. Just had to do it."

[So many ideas.]

{But just so little time!}

"A little warning next time, DP." Kirito stated annoyed as he focused on the just-spawned ad that ran his way. With perfect timing, the boy countered a sword skill with one of his own, immediately calling a switch on his partner to counter with a Linear to the throat. When the ad was defeat with another combined effort of the two, they shifted their attention to the main group.

"Think they're going to be okay?" Asuna asked.

"After that little stunt DP just pulled? They're still mad he got their glory moment." Kirito answered, noticing the Merc readying himself while trying to pick another good weapon out of thin air.

Ilfang's first health bar vanished accompanied with the sound of shattering glass and another group of Ruin Kobolds Sentinels making their way towards the waiting three teams. Kirito again charged straight ahead, his sword blocking three normal attacks before perfectly parrying a Vertical with a Horizontal, followed up by a Linear from Asuna and Double Backstab from the Merc with a Mouth, finishing the mob in a matter of seconds.

"This is going to be easier than I expected." Asuna was brimming with confidence.

"A bit too easy if you ask me…" her party leader answered.

{There is that incredible instinct again!}

[You wonder how he even knows that something bad is about to happen.]

{Power of the main character!}

It was on the last health bar, Ilfang threw his weapons away in glamorous fashion, as much as a giant rat can be glamorous, and grabbed the weapon on his back.

"Seems the book was right!"

"Everybody, stay back! We got this!" The blue-haired party leader shouted.

"Okay, you might wonder; are we going by the original script? Is that blue-haired idiot gonna die?" The Merc asked to the area behind him, while Kirito shouted something not intelligible and the Nodachi could be seen.

"OP and I had many discussions about this topic, for I saw the potential for another meme when he died, but OP wanted him alive for later." The Merc continued while Team C was now stunned by the jump of the giant beast.

[Oh, time for action.]

Ilfang the Kobold Lord jumped on several pillars, shocking the players around him with this unknown behavior, his eyes landing on the blue-haired boy. With a loud screech, he came roaring down, about to strike Diavel.

In a flash, the Merc with a Mouth teleported next to the raid leader and pulled him towards him on the perfect moment, the Kobold Lord missing his target, a mixture of shock and anxiety visible on its face. While Diavel also stared in shock at the weapon that was only a foot away from him, the Merc in Red prepared another foreign attack.

"Before I continue... Shoryuken!" Deadpool cried out as he punched the Kobold Lord flat against his face with everything he had. It didn't do much damage, but as strange as it was, was still enough to lift the beast a few feet in the air, before it landed on its back and entered a Tumble State. The Merc shifted his attention back to the raiding leader.

"Well, as a certain green character would have asked in a particular series… Why didn't you dodge?!"

[We still did the meme.]

{I am proud.}

While Diavel stared with wide eyes at the Merc in Red, Kirito and Asuna were doing their thing against the Kobold Lord. Another Parry, as incredible as he was, and another Linear, as elegant as she was, and so on.

"You got to admit these guys are crazy." The Merc mentioned in awe to the blue-haired leader, who still had no clue as to what had just happened. "I mean, just look at that teamwork. Makes me so proud."

[I think you broke him a bit.]

{At least he's alive.}

It was on Kirito's 16th Parry, a familiar scene all readers of Progressive Novel 1 or viewers of the second episode of season one knew what was about to happen.

"Shit!" the boy shouted as he missed his opportunity to block the monsters attack and saw the Nodachi coming at him. It was in that moment a sound of teleportation could be heard and his partner stood just below him, two swords blocking the sword skill for himself.

"Switch!" the Merc cried out, followed by another Linear.

"Thanks for the save, DP," Kirito thanked his party member.

"We got this, partner. Might need some help here though!" The Merc called out, the other parties, which Agil's party was a part of, joining in and overwhelming the giant beast with everything they had. When Kirito finally unleashed his Vertical Arc and landed [In superhero fashion!] on the ground, heavily panting from the fight, a terrifying silence hang in the air.

When the -Congratulations- message finally appeared above the raiding members, as the game had to wait a full ten seconds before it appeared, [Duo to dramatic reasons.] {Or just lag.} that silence was broken nevertheless by a roaring and celebrating crowd.

"Congratulations. That was the best swordsmanship I have seen so far. Today's victory is all thanks to you."

 _Another chapter, another copy…_

[He never learns.]

However, the cheering was put to an immediate halt.

"We all know what's coming after this…." The Merc groaned.

[Should we change it as well?]

{Spoilers ahead. Seriously, read the other story first or at least know what is going on in Progressive 4.}

[You have been warned.]

"What the hell just happened?!" A young boy shouted with a high-pitched voice.

"The boss was different than the beta," the blue-haired leader answered, finally awake from his shock.

"Then how did he know the boss's attack pattern?! The manual must have c…" At that moment, the Merc in Red teleported behind the boy, pushed him to the ground with everything he had, held his arm behind his back to subdue him and shouted, "Where is Francis?!"

[Wrong script, OP.]

{Goddammit man, you had one job!}

"Who…?" the boy tried to ask, still in the subdued posture.

"Sorry, my bad, let's do that over.'' Clears throat … ''Where is POH?!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" the boy cried back, his arm in such a position one would say it was broken if they were in the real world.

"DP, what are you doing?" Kirito asked, bewildered.

"Long story short, this boy is trying to get the front line to break apart. He is someone working for a player who is called POH and who is a real red player." Every player's eyes shot wide open in the room, except the fencer, who had not learned what a red player was.

[At least she knows how to open the menu.]

"How do you know that name?!" the boy cried out, still trying to get out of his position held by the Merc in Red.

"Professional secrecy. Now, speak up, you little shit! I've got idiots to save!"

"Who are you calling idiots, punk?!" the spiked-hair leader thundered. Deadpool signed to Kirito to block the player's movements under him and suddenly teleported next to the spiked- haired leader.

"Ah yes, the spiky haired boy named Kibaou. You know, every reader wants you dead."

"What?" the boy asked, not understanding a single thing.

"No worries, I am here to save people, not kill them. That said, you might want to drop the attitude."

"What did you…!" the boy wanted to shout again before the Merc held a finger in front of his mouth.

"You see, and let me speak completely first, you are very aggressive towards beta players and other players alike. This might have cost you your life – or let's say, at least twenty-four people's – at one point. Now, you can keep that attitude up, and become Aincrad's most hated man for years to come, or you can drop the attitude and become one of the greatest. What do you say, big guy?"

Kibaou was at a loss for words, but the Merc was not finished yet.

"For the others, if you really hate the beta testers, you're talking to mostly dead people. The overconfident player gets killed the fastest and despite my best efforts, 400 of them have died. You guys are even better than them at this point. Only a few had mastered the basics in the beta, after all, one of them had messed this entire raid up while the other saved it." The Merc confessed when he shifted his attention to the blue-haired leader and Kirito.

"What…?" some of the players stared at the two players bewildered.

[You're still following it at this point, OP?]

{He had to read back four times. I think he's lost it!}

"Now, instead of being so toxic to one another, despite everyone here wanting the same thing, I suggest we celebrate! After kicking this bastard into jail of course."

"Wait…Wait?!" the boy shouted, being picked up and guided by three men who the Merc had convinced. Another cheer then emerged and the players made their way altogether to the second floor.

"Crisis avoided."

[Things can only become better at this point. How did we do that?]

{Plot is a powerful thing!}

While most players followed the Merc in his version of the Mask's Cuban Roomba [Good times.], Kirito slowly walked up to his partner.

"I don't know what just happened but thank you for saving me out there."

"No problem, pal. I'm not even sure what happened there myself, and I'm the one who did it." The Merc confessed with a chuckle.

"Figures. Well, we are one step closer to our escape at least." Kirito announced, not seeing the smile the fencer gave him.

[Did we miss something?]

{I have no idea!}

It was on the next floor, where a soft breeze welcomed the 45 players, Deadpool realized the horrifying theme for the second floor.

Farm animals.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

That was it for chapter 3. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Wait, what is that? **Chainsaw sound in the back**. Holy shit Deadpool, you maniac!

"That was for that punch, asshole! As OP was saying, hope you enjoyed this crazy chapter with broken English, memes, and references. This was only the start of many adventures yet to come. And what you guys don't realize is that you can speak to me! No seriously, just ask anything. Who knows what I can put in this amazing story. Ships, crazy actions, other lovely things. Just name it.''

[We are ready for everything.]

{Hope you are as well!}.

"Since OP is not coming back for a while, see you legends later in the next one. Oh yeah, I have to thank Fate-Of-Wishes for beta reading this chapter. Girl, you absolutely rock!

For those lurkers out there, hope you enjoyed the story as well. I love you all! Deadpool out!"


	4. Chapter 4: Changes from the beta?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sword Art Online or Deadpool. Both are owned by their respective owners.

* * *

''Good day, ladies and gentlemen and welcome back to another chapter of everyone's favorite program: Aincrad Geographic. I am your host Deadpool and today we'll be taking a closer look at the inhabitants of this fascinating world.'' T **eleports away.**

''We will begin today by examining one of the most common creatures in this land; the Trembling Cow. Appearing out of thin air, even after annihilating it, this creature does not appear a threat to many. However, for the more experienced adventurer, they know all too well the true danger that comes from these monst- OH NO! IT'S SEEN US!'' **Teleports five times to safety.**

/Five minutes later./

''Ah yes, I apologize for the interruption. I escaped by a hair's breadth from that dangerous creature. Without delay, let us continue to our next subject. The Trembling Ox is part of the family of the Trembling Cow, yet despite its threating look, does not pose a danger to the experienced adventure.''

In that very moment, a player was launched away by the giant ox, sending him ten feet backwards, before he scrambled up and away in fear.

''Only on rare occasions it can be threating, but there is no need for worry if one is prepared.'' **Teleports away.**

Making his way through the lands of the second floor, the Merc in Red searched for his party members. It took a tedious forty-five minutes, but he eventually found the two players training their asses off in the afternoon sun. He held his fingers up, mimicking a camera, and continued his program.

''What a coincidence! We have found our three last subjects of the day.'' Deadpool teleported closer to the pair. ''Our next subject is family of the Coleoptera or, as they are pronounced in the English studies, beetles. These giant relatives of the beetle have evolved into substantial creatures, standing tall against the adventurers that go past this point. With red spots all over their body, they are also called Red Spotted Beetles.''

Kirito and Asuna didn't bother with the Merc in Red, as they were much too focused on trying to kill as many Red Spotted Beetles as possible for their competition.

''That brings us to our second-last subject. Once hidden by the dangers of this world, this creature has evolved into a force to be reckoned with. With rapier in hand, her skills, chestnut-brown hair and uneven beauty is a femme fatale for every member of the opposite sex that wonders these floors.''

Asuna's face became completely red and almost lost her temper. She would've turned around and shouted at the Merc if it wasn't for the fact that she truly wanted to win.

''At last, our last subject. Once belonging to the endangered beta testers, this creature is one of the strongest of his kind. Now that his kind is treasured instead of hunted, this boy can use his knowledge to his full potential. His instinct and skills go hand in hand, yet this creature has yet to discover his true potential. Then, and only then, it can grow to its final form and the true player/lady killer will come forth.''

Kirito and Asuna's face turned bright red, both momentarily stopped in their tracks.

''And this is the end of today's episode. Until next time, this has been Aincrad Geographic.''

With those words, the Merc in Red shifted his attention back to the two players, both staring violently at Deadpool.

''What?''

/Five hours later./

''Yeesh, there was no need for such harsh words. If they wanted alone time, they could've just asked.''

[You got on their bad side though…]

{Still, that was harsh!}

Walking through the city of Urbus, Deadpool checked his menu. He grinned at what popped up before him. Four skills at his disposal and an almost entirely empty inventory. He also observed that his stats were some of the best in the game and as well as a friend list most would be jealous of. Seconds later, someone shouted his name.

''Sir Deadpool-san! Wait!''

Turning around, the Merc in Red noticed a blonde boy running towards him, chakram in his hands and a bright smile on his face. Standing behind him were the five players belonging to the Legend Braves.

''Nezha, Orlando, good to see you guys. How is training going?''

''Perfectly! I've gained three levels today!''

''Thanks again for the equipment, Sir Deadpool-sama.'' Orlando thanked with a happy face, his body and head covered by all +4 equipment.

''Not a problem, big guy. Just no messing around with other players stuff anymore.''

''Promise!'' the six players replied before making their way further into the city. Waiting until they left his vision, Deadpool then made his way to one of the taverns. The sounds of celebration echoed and pulsed from it, growing louder and better when the Merc in Red showed up.

''Sir Deadpool! Glad you could make it.'' A blue-haired player known as Lind greeted with a welcoming smile, both players sharing a healthy handshake.

''Didn't want to miss a thing. How is the clearing going?''

''We're going steady. Currently, we've found the field boss. Tell Kirito we will attack tomorrow morning at eleven o'clock.''

''I will. Now, where is my favorite brown spiked dumbass?!'' Out of the large crowd appeared Kibaou, a drink in his hand shouting his own welcome which filled the room.

''Sir Deadpool! There you are, you glorified bastard!'' With arms raised high, the two players made their way towards one another and ended their welcome with an arm-wrestle handshake.

''There you are, you ugly weasel! How's that training coming along?''

''They're a bunch of idiots, but we're making progress!''

Three days had passed since the first-floor boss fight. Starting on the first day, Deadpool advised the spiked haired boy he would be popular if he went back to the Town of Beginnings and trained newbie players to become strong. As a result, many players could be seen on the second floor, fighting together to gain experience.

At the same time, Diavel continued to lead the front line, together with one of his most trusty followers. The blue haired Lind was most certainly one of them. Combining the work of the new players with the teamwork of the Diavel & Lind, things were progressing nicely in Aincrad.

On the second day of the new floor, Nezha appeared out of nowhere, being one of the first blacksmiths on the front line.

[Luckily, we had read OP's other story and knew what to do.]

Armed with the new weapon in his hand and Martial Art skill equipped, the player with the FNC could finally play alongside his friends. Kirito and Deadpool had even joined him on his quest, so the three of them now shared the Martial Arts skill.

Another loud cheer could be heard, one of the many celebrations that would continue to late into the evening. It was when the Merc in Red was walking back to his inn that he realised how much this world had changed, thanks to him.

No beaters, no hate against beta testers, no hate on the Legend Braves and no separation between groups, which happened in his guide for dummies. Deadpool stared at this quest log one last time to see the following updates:

\- Clear the hundred floors of Aincrad: 2/1000 –

\- Save as many players as you can: 931 –

\- Find a recipe for Chimichangas –

''We did good, didn't we?''

[Naturally.]

{We are doing exceptionally!}.

Back at the inn where the three players were staying, Deadpool came across Kirito and Asuna sitting beside one other, discussing the field boss they were going to tackle tomorrow. It was for that reason the third person, her drawn whiskers highlighted by the light in the small room, was also sitting next to them.

''It hasn't changed… then this shouldn't be too hard?''

''You worry too much, Kii-bou! You got DP and Aa-chan backing you up, so stop worrying!''

''Indeed. Good evening ladies, pretty boy.'' Asuna refused to acknowledge the Merc, Argo shot her familiar grin and Kirito gave one of his annoyed faces - again. ''Yeesh, that date wasn't worth much.''

''You guys went on a date?!'' Argo asked, raising her voice and causing both Asuna's and Kirito's faces to turn beet red.

''We did not, you idiots! Kirito just lost a bet!''

''Yeah, keep telling yourself that love. I'm off to bed. Don't try to make too much noise tonight.''

While Deadpool walked up the stairs with an innocent whistle, Kirito cursed him internally now having to deal with a teasing Argo and an upset Asuna.

''Better get used to it. There is a lot more coming your way, pale.''

With those words, the Merc in Red closed his eyes and entered the world of sleep.

* * *

The - Bullbous Bow -, the field boss of the second floor, proved to be no problem to the raiding party led by the blue-haired knight Diavel. Naturally, it had helped that a certain player in red had used a red coat and one of his weapons as a muleta and was drawing out the aggro of the boss by himself.

Two days later, fifty-one players had found their way in front of the floor boss, all ready for what the boss had to bring. Of these fifty-one were Diavel, Lind, Kibaou, Agil, Argo, Kirito, Asuna and last, but not least, Deadpool.

''Today, one week ago, we showed the terrified players on the first floor this game can be beaten. We had a rough start at first, but after the great teamwork this week and our combined efforts, we will triumph! My comrades, let us fight together and claim victory in this battle!''

Diavel's speech was answered by a loud roar, almost every player ready for this decisive battle. The only one who didn't participate in that collaborate answer was the Merc in Red, standing with his arms crossed, away from his party members.

''Look, I said I was sorry, DP. What more do you want from me?'' Kirito asked in guilt.

''Aa-chan, Kii-bou, that's not how you treat a party member.''

''Nah, it's alright, love. I am just going to hang out with baldy over there. If these two can't appreciate me, I'll find someone who can.''

With a poof, the Merc in Red teleported next to Agil, shocking the merchant as he was still not used to the whole phenomenon yet.

''Hey big guy. Ready to kick some cow's butt?''

''Naturally, Sir Deadpool. Let's beat Nato together.'' Two fists met each other, an exchange of trust and partnership.

The field boss of the second floor was Baron the General Taurus. Deadpool and his two party members were assigned to beat the sub-boss, Nato the Colonel Taurus, working together with the Legend Braves and Agil's party.

[Of course, there is an extra surprise waiting for us.]

{Another butt to kick!}

The door to the boss room opened up not a second later and the second-floor boss battle began.

/20 minutes later./

''Asuna, switch!'' Kirito shouted, just parrying the giant hammer of Nato. The fencer jumped forward, striking the minotaur with an Oblique before jumping back again. The Merc in Red at this point simply threw some spears at the back of the giant minotaur, not even putting in an effort to fight seriously.

''Not in the mood. It's just cows, cows, and more cows. Oh, and some insects. It's just no fun anymore.'' Deadpool muttered to thin air, stopping only to throw more weapons. With a sigh, he shifted his attention to his menu and checked his skills:

\- Magic Satchel, 20/1000.-

\- Teleportation, 100/1000.-

\- Mimic, 20/1000.-

\- Martial Arts, 53/1000.-

The last skill he received was the only normal skill he had, for the others did not grow past a certain point. Magic Satchel grew to 20/1000 in a matter of hours on the second floor but stopped after that point. The same happened to Mimic. Teleportation hadn't even grown at all after the first hour, meaning Deadpool could only teleport 100 times a day.

''Guess it's just to nerve me.''

[This is going to take a long time to level up.]

''Sir Deadpool-san, a little help here!'' A voice yelled from across the room, the Merc in Red instantly teleporting a boy to safety.

''Thanks for the help, Sir Deadpool!''

''Yeah, no problem.'' The Merc in Red replied as he stared at the battlefield. All of the members that were paralyzed were safely on the side, while the two groups did their best to hammer the two bosses down.

''Now, when is the big guy showing up? I really want to kick some giant ass!''

[Patience.]

{Fuck that!}

It was at that moment Deadpool saw Agil and Kirito speaking to one another, and the floor began to tremble immensely, shaking the staggering players that were standing on it. A hole appeared in the middle of the room, as a giant figure made its way in.

Standing at 50 feet tall, a giant minotaur with grey hair and a double hammer stood in the middle of the room, his shadow alone covering half of the chamber.

– Asterius the Tauros King – appeared above it, together with five full health bars.

''Finally! Let's get this party started!'' the Merc shouted, drawing the attention of every other member around him. Before anyone could ask what that was about, the Merc in Red teleported to in front of Asterius' nose, drew two swords, and pierced the newly spawned boss straight in the right eye.

''What….?'' Some of the players wondered what the fuck was going on, for not only a new boss spawned in the boss room, but the Merc in Red had already attacked it head-on. While Asterius let out a painful roar, Deadpool summoned one sword after another.

''Another one, another one, another one, another one…. DJ Deadpool!'' the Merc shouted, the bosses strangely raising their arms, before wondering why.

''Black haired dumbass!'' the boy shouted, drawing the attention of at least five other players in the room. Only one of them knew for certain Deadpool had been referring to him. ''I'm keeping this bastard at bay! Defeat those motherfuckers for me!''

With a worried, yet determined, expression, Kirito answered Deadpool with a nod, before attacking Nato with everything he had. Kirito didn't even give a shit if he took damage, as he was too concerned for that one player who was holding back an entire boss on his own.

''Oh, he does care. Not going to forgive him that easily though.''

Asterius was about to strike the Merc in Red, only for the Merc to dodge the blow, making Asterius hitting himself in the face.

''Why are you hitting yourself?''

[Another meme.]

{We are on a roll!}

Another sidestep allowed him to dodge a giant fist, another backward jump had him dodge the hammer, and another forward run let him dodge a headbutt. Everything went well until the sound of shattered glass echoed through the room.

''What was that?''

[Did someone die?]

{I hope not. Oh, Nato has vanished!}

The Merc shifted his attention to where Kirito, Nezha's and Agil's parties were standing. It was that moment, the tail of Asterius slammed the Merc upwards, followed by a downward punch, sending Deadpool to the ground.

''Son of a bitch! You are pulling an Asuna on me!'' the Merc shouted to the boss. It was at that moment, the Merc also realized h's health bar had reached a deep yellow, he was in the -Stun- state, and his teleportation skill wasn't activating. To make things worse, the giant minotaur's mouth was wide open, while a white light gathered inside his mouth.

''Guess this is the end….'' Deadpool murmured sadly, a thunderous light beaming straight towards him. With a saddened smile on his face, Deadpool closed his eyes.

''Clash.''

He felt a something hit his side hard, while an electric feeling rushed through his foot. Deadpool opened his eyes and found himself on the floor, alive and well. Partially on top of him, he noticed the presence of one of his party members, her chestnut brown hair just as noticeable as the soft feeling in his chest.

''You okay?'' Asuna asked worriedly. It was at that moment Deadpool noticed the paralyze status on both of them and realized what happened.

''Yeah. Thanks for the save…''

''I am not letting you die here, partner.'' Asuna replied.

''I'm not sure if we can survive that though…'' the Merc tailed off, noticing another lighting attack about to be fired at the two players. In the moment of its firing, another figure appeared before the two. Blinded by the light, Deadpool only saw the silhouette of a black player.

''Jesus-kun?''

With an inhuman reaction time, the boy blocked the beam with a horizontal skill. When the light had disappeared, Kirito looked over his shoulder.

''Not letting you die here, partner. Let's beat this bastard together!''

''Guys… you're making me cry.''

While the Legend Braves finally caught up to Asterius and drew his attention, together with Agil's squad, Asuna and Deadpool healed back to full health. At the same time, Baran shattered into oblivion.

''Seems we are set. Thanks to you, DP.'' The rat thanked the Merc next to her.

''How about a lift up there, partner?'' Kirito asked, pointing at the crown on top of Asterius's head.

''Got it, pretty boy!'' With another teleportation, the Merc teleported on to the top of Asterius' head. And that is where the counter assault began.

''Burn in hell, you giant abomination!'' the Merc howled, releasing all of his anger on the giant Minotaur.

[Another reference?]

{Almost.}

At the end of the fight, Asterius the Tauros king had approximately 32 swords, 29 spears, 24 axes and a few daggers inside him. That last things he saw before him were Asuna and Kirito, both charging their strongest sword skills straight through his head.

* * *

''So, we're good?'' the black-haired boy asked, the four party members walking up the stairs.

''After teamwork like that, of course we are!''

With a sigh, the boy shifted his attention forward again. Despite not showing it on her emotionless face, Asuna too was glad Deadpool had forgiven them for their outbursts in the last couple of days – even if the Merc should had seen them coming.

Argo was simply grinning through it all, just glad she could be part of the first group that would set foot on the third floor. Finally arriving at the end of the stairs, both beta players noticed that the floor theme hadn't changed since the beta.

''So, a forest theme this time?'' Deadpool asked.

Kirito nodded a confirmation. ''Yep. Let's get that teleporter active and head straight for the Elf War Campaign quest.''

''Elf War Campaign?'' asked a puzzled Asuna.

''I'll explain once we get closer. Let's open this floor first,'' Argo suggested.

Walking to the city of Zumfut, Deadpool decided to summon new weapons out of thin air again before noticing that his Magic Satchel skill leveled up once again. When the teleporter was finally activated, the players made their way back to the Forest of Wavering Mists and searched for the beginning of the Elf War Campaign.

''And… I reached my limit. Again. Anyone want a new weapon?''

''Got any new claws in there, by any chance?'' Argo asked from beside him.

''Claws…. Let's see. If I remember correctly, it should be in here somewhere… got it!'' One set of claws with the name Scratches was pulled from Deadpool's back. The information broker quickly checked the weapon's stats, only to see they were indeed better than her current weaponry.

''Thanks, DP. I owe you.''

''No sweat, love. Now, tell us about that dark Elf Campaign!'' Asuna, interested, began to listen in to the Rat's explanation.

''Ah, right. The Elf Campaign is a couple of quests set from the third to the ninth floor. Unlike other quests, they cannot be redone and are more difficult than any other normal quests you can take. You have to choose between either the dark elves or the forest elves in these missions and follow their story on from that point.''

''Wait, dark elves?''

Argo nodded, startled when Deadpool began summarising his story for dummies in his notebook. Kirito ignored his partner, although he truly wished he was able to read what was inside that book.

[Is this…]

{Oh yeah! You better be prepared, pretty boy!}

''Something the matter?'' Argo asked.

''Nah, love. I was just thinking; dark elves are supposed to come from Norse mythology, right?''

''Right, first mentioned in the Prose Edda.'' Asuna replied, earning an inquisitive look from the other three players. ''What? I read that somewhere…''

''Anyway, what does that have to do with Aincrad? There is nothing here that gives even the slightest impression of Norse mythology?''

''While it is true the dark elves' origin comes from the Norse mythology, many video game creators like to add them to a game without their true origin playing any point in it.'' Kirito answered.

''Hm, interesting.''

/Five minutes later/

''Guys, do any of you have good ears?''

''Why, pretty boy? You into that?'' Deadpool asked.

''Why do you have to go there….?''

[Another reference.]

{To the manga this time!}

''The start of the Elf Campaign is a fight between a forest and dark elf. If we listen carefully, we can hear their weapons clash.''

''I think I hear something,'' Asuna mentioned after a while, pointing deeper into the forest. Following that direction, the sound of metal striking metal became louder and louder. Eventually, the four players played witness to a male forest elf and female dark elf, fighting in an endless loop.

''So, who are we siding with?'' Asuna asked.

''If you don't mind, can we take the dark elf side? I grew kinda familiar with their storyline in the beta, so I feel more comfortable doing that one.''

''And the fact there is a gorgeous female dark elf there doesn't play a role in that?'' Deadpool mentioned with a grin.

''She dies, for there is a pre-scripted death at the end of this fight. If Kii-bou would join them for that reason, he would be a bigger idiot than I thought.'' The Rat teased, sporting a matching grin.

''Why am I the one that is getting all of it today…?''

[Main protagonist's problems.]

{You said it!}

''So, we side with the dark elves. Then let's begin.'' The boy suggested after the shared nod, running to the elves with incredible agility. The elves both responded with words of their own, but ain't nobody got time for that.

{You are nailing it this chapter!}

With a Vertical, Kirito engaged the forest elf head on. Blocking every sword attack of the forest elf perfectly, including the swords skills shared with one of their own, Asuna and Argo could react almost perfectly on the cooldown. The Merc decided to throw in some attacks as well, teleporting right behind the forest elf, to grab him around the waist and Tiger Supplexed him with all of his strength into the ground.

''Impossible….''

After a short fifteen-minute fight, those were the last words of the forest elf who then vanished into oblivion. Asuna and Deadpool were panting heavily, while Kirito and Argo just stood dumbfoundingly, looking at the female dark elf that had picked something from the ground. She walked their way and spoke with a velvety voice.

''Thank you for your assistance in this battle, humans. Let me introduce myself. My name is Kizmel, member of the Pagoda Knights, from the kingdom of Lyusula.'' With her sword in front of her chest, Kizmel stood in the stance of the famous salutation of warriors of the medieval age.

''Nice to meet you Kizmel. My name is Sir Deadpool and these are Kirito, Asuna, and Argo. I like your salutation, yet in human culture, we don't do that. Instead, we give each other kisses when we meet, starting with between the female gender.'' Deadpool introduced with a wink.

Asuna, Argo, and Kirito didn't take those words seriously, for they didn't expect Kizmel would react in his favor to such a stupid thing. But, did the dark elf proof them wrong.

''I see. Let me introduce myself correctly than.'' With a bewildered expression, Argo stared at the dark elf who stood before her, when she leaned forward and kissed the rat on the mouth. Asuna was complete in shock, that being the reason she could not correct the Merc in time before Kizmel kissed her on her lips. In the meantime, Deadpool was rolling on the ground in a fit of laughter.

''Wait, Kizmel, you have received the wrong information from my companion here!'' Kirito sputtered just in time to stop Kizmel before she could kiss him too. ''We just give each other a handshake when we see meet someone new, and sometimes, we don't even do that!''

The dark elf stared at the Merc in Red, who finally got up, with an unreadable expression.

''I see. What was the reason for that lie, human?'' the dark elf asked, a slight irritation evident in her voice.

''It was a joke. Nothing to offend you, Kizmel.''

''I see. A strange humor you have, Sir Deadpool.''

Sighing, Kirito turned his attention to Kizmel, while in the background Asuna was about to punch Deadpool into oblivion for his little stunt. Argo was still taken aback, staring at the whole situation before her with wide eyes.

''At least, let me thank you for assisting me in this fight, human warriors. I hereby invite you all to the dark elf base. Would you accompany me?''

''Yes, we are happy too,'' Kirito answered. With those words, a fifth health bar appeared in Deadpool's HUD and the five-member party made their way to the dark elf base of the third floor.

* * *

 **Author notes:**

That was it for chapter 4. Hope you guys enjoyed it! **Chainsaw sound in the back, OP shoots Deadpool in the face.**

As I was saying, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I had quite some inspiration for this one, and went through it rather quickly. This story is basically just me releasing my steam, so if things are not logically, so be it.

Thank you for beta reading this chapter once again Fate-of-Wishes. Amazingly done as always.

Let me know what you think about the story and what you like or dislike. If you anything you want to see, please just PM me. I value all feedback and messages.

That was it for this chapter and see you legends in the next one.

Beyor out-


	5. Chapter 5: A Peaceful Meeting?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sword Art Online or Deadpool.

''And don't forget about Disney!''

Yep... right. All three are owned by their respective owners.

''Before we start, I have to say: Rest in peace, Stan Lee. I may be a little late to the party but that was because of OP. Excelsior!''

Enjoy!

* * *

It was night time in Aincrad, a dangerous time to be venturing into the wild lands of this cursed world. Mobs become more aggressive, while more stronger beasts spawn out of nowhere. Most players, for that reason, chose to remain in the safe zones, protected by the invisible borders the cities provided.

Kirito was not one of them. His training method was a dangerous one, fighting alone against the newly spawned mobs, just to become strong enough to overcome the inevitable death of this world.

-Annual blade +7- in his hand, the Roaring Wolves proved to be a difficult enemy for the boy to face. Quickly learning the beasts summoned more wolves once they were past the 50% mark, the boy attempted to kill all mobs in one go. When he approached the sole survivor, the black-haired swordsman repeated his technique to gain more enemies, to the extent his health allowed it to.

Finally, Kirito vanquished the last of the wolves and momentarily stood still before turning to a certain tree on his left. ''How long are you going to stay there?''

''As long as needed to make sure you come back in one piece, pretty boy,'' Deadpool answered, sitting from a branch, careful eyes on his partner. ''Argo was worried you were being reckless again, so she asked if I could keep an eye on you.''

''Thanks, I guess. I was done anyway, so let's head back.'' Jumping out of the tree, the two players made their way back to the dark elf base.

''You know, next time you should ask Asuna or Kizmel to join you. They wouldn't mind leveling up or helping you out,'' Deadpool suggested as they walked.

''Maybe… but I can't let them risk their lives just for my selfish request.''

''Oh, so you do care about them. You know that I'll use this against you, right?''

''Yeah, but you would've guessed it anyway. I can't lie with you around, remember?''

The players entered the dark elf base shortly after, quickly heading to their designed tent. Inside, a red masked figure could be seen to the side, for Deadpool found the whole design of the temporary living space lacking spirit. Thus, he decided to give it a little makeover.

''Where have you been?!'' The boys jumped at the voice of an angry Asuna, standing in the middle of the room with the other girls.

''Just training against some Roaring wolves,'' Kirito reassured her. ''DP was watching my back.''

''And it looked fine!'' Deadpool added with a grin.

Not sure how to respond, the trio of girls stared at the duo of players with confound judgment. However, knowing the stubbornness of both players, they didn't even bother pressing into the matter anymore.

None of them dared admit it, but they were concerned about their black-haired companion. Argo always thought he ran recklessly in front of the others, being the main tank of their group, despite not having the strength stats nor skills normally associated with the role. Asuna was glad she never had that position, for her offensive feats were better than her defensive capabilities.

Even if she only knew her human companions for two days, Kizmel grew fond of them incredibly quickly. They weren't warriors like the dark elves, but their determination was so extraordinary, she realized her people could learn a lot from them. The information broker, who had an answer to every question sent her way. The fencer, who bore a resemblance to her deceased sister. The black-haired boy, whom she shared her story with during the first night, at the graveyard of the base - where Tilnel's grave was located. There, she vowed to protect them, Kirito immediately promising the same. Then, there was Deadpool.

Starting off on the wrong foot due to a misplaced joke, her first impression of Deadpool was, to say the least, not that high. Luckily, that quickly changed when she noticed his incredible strength and commitment to his friends, even if he pulled some jokes on them from time to time.

''Now that you have returned, let us rest for the night. Tomorrow will be an important day.'' Kizmel announced, the others agreeing before getting into their sleeping bags.

''DP, get out of my sleeping bag!'' Kirito snorted at his partner, the Merc with a Mouth, who was already settled in Kirito's bag.

''You sure? I'm quite warm and cozy.''

''Yes! Get back in your own bag!''

''Fine, fine. But if it's too cold tonight, I will join you nevertheless,'' Deadpool teased with a grin. Sighing, Kirito closed his eyes and entered the dreamland in a matter of seconds.

''That was quick. Is he really asleep already?'' Argo asked quietly, staring at the boy's face.

''Yep. You should've seen his fight against the Roaring Wolves. The way he was fighting, it's no wonder he fell asleep this quick.'' Deadpool responded, eyes also on Kirito. ''Hey, his face is actually pretty cute when he sleeps!''

A little intrigued, Asuna also turned to watch the boy from her sleeping bag and found the childish expression truly adorable. How could one be so mature, leading their party, while still have a face as cute as that?

''He is indeed a remarkable human,'' Kizmel noted, also staring at the blissfully sleeping boy. ''He leads and fights with confidence, trying to grow strong despite the risk of death lurking at every corner. I wonder where he learned how to do so.''

''Practice, Kii-chan. Let's just say Kii-bou has experience in these kinds of things.'' Argo mumbled, eyes still trained on the sleeping face of her beta friend. ''That said, it might be a good idea for us to sleep as well. As you said Kii-chan, tomorrow is going to be hectic.''

With some final good night wishes, the players dimmed the lights and in the embrace of their sleeping bags, tried to join Kirito in the world of dreams. Before Deadpool went to sleep though, he checked his manual of Dummies one last time.

* * *

Wondering through the city of the Town of Beginnings, the Merc with Mouth drew quite some attention to himself. Who could blame him, when one kept materializing equipment, one piece after another, into thin air before throwing them away just as quickly?

Staring at the equipment before them, curiosity took over in a matter of seconds as a hundred players ran to the weapons, picking them up and claiming them as their own. Their faces morphed into ones of surprise, maybe even pure ecstasy, when they realized it was all top notch material. Some players stared in awe at the Merc, and one voice above the others echoed throughout the whole ordeal.

''Who are you?'' the boy asked, staring at the generous player with wide eyes. Deadpool turned around, the music player in his mind appearing and a record beginning to play.

The music starts (You're Welcome) and the Merc grins. ''I see what's happening here. You're face to face with greatness, and it's strange. You don't even know how you feel. It's adorable! Well, it's nice to see that players never change.

Open your eyes, let's begin. Yes, it's really me, it's Deadpool: breath it in! I know it's a lot: the mask, the man! When you are staring at a perfect Stan. [Rest in Peace, old friend.]

What can I say except you're welcome! For the weapons, equipment, and more. Hey, it's okay, it's okay. You're welcome. I'm just an ordinary player on the first floor.

Hey! What has two thumbs that pulled up this sword, when you were waddling all ignored. This guy!

When the nights got cold, who gave you blankets from nowhere. You're lookin' at him, yo!

Oh, I also killed the boss. You're welcome! To free you and bring you fun. Also, I saved you all. You're welcome, to make you believe we will not fall.

So what can I say except you're welcome, for the equipment I pulled out of nowhere. There's no need to pray, it's okay. You're welcome! Ha, I guess it's just my way of being me! You're welcome! You're welcome!

Well, come to think of it, kid. Honestly, I can go on and on. I can explain every phenomenon. The peef, the paf, the poof. That was Deadpool just messing around.

I killed a wolf, buried its nuts, slashed a tree, unfortunately, no coconuts. What's the lesson, what is the takeaway? Don't mess with Deadpool when he's on the giveaway.''

Deadpool continued his musical, players staring at the singing Merc with awe and smiles. After the ending, he received large applause and made a deep bow.

''Thank you, thank you! Now if you excuse me, I gotta go!''

Using his teleporter skill, the Merc made the perfect exit. A hundred players searched far and wide, but none were experienced nor quick enough to see the Merc escaping through the small alleys of the large city.

''Man, these songs are difficult. How does Disney do this for every movie?''

[A lot of workers.]

{And a lot of money!}

Finally arriving at the outskirts of the first city, Deadpool followed the coordinates the private message provided him. An hour later, finding himself in of the many forests, he finally stumbled upon the six players he was looking for. Before he could announce himself, the red-haired pirate noticed his presence.

''DP! Glad you could make it!''

''Klein, my pal! How is my favorite red-haired player doing?''

''You know, training to join you guys later,'' Klein beamed at the Merc with Mouth, his friends at his side. They met Deadpool in the first three weeks a few times but still could not comprehend the extent of the skills he possessed.

''Sir Deadpool.'' The first player said with a nod, one of the few with afro hair.

''Dale. Still nailing the afro, I see. Oh hey Kuni! Looking good with that Broad Sword!'' Deadpool shouted enthusiastically to the player who was standing just a couple of feet away. ''Anyway, I came to give you guys some upgrades on your equipment. What can I give you guys?''

''You know that is not needed, DP. We can't depend on you all the time.'' Klein assured, silently thanking the Merc from the bottom of his heart.

''Nonsense, pal. It's no effort at all. Now, what can I give you?''

Ten minutes later, the players were all given equipment which sported a contrast from the rest of their belongings. A new shield for Harry, a curved sword for Klein and extra armor for all of them.

''I can't thank you enough, DP. If there is anything we can do for you, just name it.''

''Just become stronger, safely. We miss you out there.'' The Merc confessed, the red-haired pirate bearing a soft smile.

''I know. Kirito has messaged me back quite a few times, writing about his adventures. Tell him we will be joining the front lines no matter what.''

''Good. Now if you excuse me, that black-haired idiot probably needs my help again. See you later!''

Saying their farewells, the Merc in Red headed back to the Town of Beginnings, taking the teleporter to go back to the third floor. Even if he didn't know the way around the Forest of Wavering Mists, his manual for Dummies knew.

* * *

''There is a new guild on the frontline?!'' Kirito was in shock, he couldn't believe that there was already a group that had vowed to stay together for their time in Aincrad.

''Not everyone is a solo player like you, Kii-bou. Apparently, the group consists of all the players of the front line, apart from the four-man squad of Agil and a few other solo players.'' Argo replied.

''What is it called?'' Asuna asked.

''The Aincrad Dragon Alliance or ADA in short,'' Argo explained. ''Diavel is taking the role as the guild leader on his shoulders, Lind and Kibaou both vice-leaders of their group. Wonder how long it will last, though,'' the rat mumbled worriedly.

''Don't worry about it, love. They will be doing fine. With Kibaou leading the training for the new recruits and Lind leading the mapping of the unexplored lands, things couldn't go any better.'' Deadpool replied.

''Have you heard from those who received training from him?'' Argo retorted.

''What can I say. Nobody's perfect. At least he's helping people grow stronger.''

''Why do I feel that is pointed to me?'' Kirito added uncomfortably.

''Well, why would that be?'' Deadpool asked rhetorically. The two stared at one another, before focusing back on the food at the stall of the dark elf base. The five party members ate together, discussing their plans for the next day before going to sleep. What the three girls didn't know was that the black-haired boy had a different plan.

At 3 o'clock in the morning, Kirito carefully maneuvered between the sleeping bags and left the tent. There, he made his way towards the other side of the map, to finish the sixth quest of the dark elf campaign: -Infiltration-.

Feeling the coast was clear, Deadpool also stood up from his sleeping bag and followed his partner into the night. And knowing his partner, he made sure to hold his distance. After all, that -Searching- skill was anything but easy to trick.

''Why does he always have to do these reckless things?''

[Well, even Jesus-kun has his flaws.]

{That is what we are here for!}

Noting the time on his HUD, the Merc deduced the black-haired swordsman had to be at the Forest Elf camp by now. More importantly, an important meeting was about to take place, a meeting the Merc simply couldn't miss.

Following the stream of water, Deadpool finally heard the sound of swords clashing one another. A faint sound, that became louder and louder as time passed by. He had already messaged Argo, making sure they could provide back up if it was needed.

Teleporting onto a tree, the Merc noticed two players dueling in the stream. One was Kirito, but the other player, wearing a coif just in front of his eyes, he had never met before. He wore green-blue clothing, the new colors of the ADA, yet that didn't make things easier. After all, that group had close to 58 members now; there were way too many names to remember. Despite that, the manual of dummies told him enough to know who he had before him.

''So, there is our second target. You don't have many allies left after this, Prince of Hell.'' The Merc with Mouth whispered to himself, summoning a certain item in his hand.

Noticing his black-haired party member had the upper hand due to the -Martial Art- skill, the Merc couldn't help but feel proud. He could see that their training together for the -Martial Art- skill, despite his swordsmanship, wasn't for nothing.

In the moment the unknown player charged forward yet again, Deadpool's plan could be executed. In the motion for a -Leaping Sword- skill, the unknown player could not stop when Deadpool appeared in front of him, striking the just popped-up player on the chest.

Before both players could react to a sudden pop-up from the Merc, the unknown player's cursor turned yellow and Deadpool teleported again, this time tackling the boy to the ground. The boy wanted to scream to attract the Forest Elves in the base, but Deadpool was prepared. As if he had done it a hundred times {maybe I did}, he gagged the unknown player's mouth with a rope, silencing him before the forest elves' attention could be drawn.

''Hggm?! Ghm, hmg?!'' Any attempts by the boy to form any coherent language were useless.

''DP? What are you doing here?!''

''I had an appointment with this fellow here. I assume he had introduced himself already but nevertheless, let me do that again. Kirito, meet Morté, an ally of POH. Morté, Kirito, black-haired front-line player. Some late advice next time you try to kill someone in a duel dipshit: make sure he's working alone.'' The Merc was still holding the boy, both players confused.

Although he couldn't see his eyes, Deadpool knew Morté was aware of the trouble he was in. Like his accomplice had shown to the entire population of Aincrad, getting out of the prisons on the first floor was an impossible task. Especially if the prosecutor was no one less than the Merc with Mouth himself.

''Asuna, Argo, and Kizmel should be on their way. I will wait 'til they arrive, but then I will deliver this bad boy to the first floor cells. You stay here, or I'm gonna throw you into the cell with him,'' Deadpool commanded. Kirito sighed before agreeing to follow the Merc's orders, readying himself for a complete lecture from Argo or Asuna, or if he was really unlucky, even from Kizmel.

Morté was struggling on the ground, but nothing that he could say or do was enough to make the Merc let him go. And after Argo saw the trio of them thirty minutes later, the whole of Aincrad would know the truth later that day.

* * *

''I am not my insane self? How do you mindfuck with people more than this? I am literally an equipment dispenser with a teleportation ability and a badass, red leather suit on the front lines. I'm partied with Jesus-kun, the beautiful fencer Asuna, everyone's beloved rat and the dark elf who is liked by all. Do you understand?'' Deadpool rambled to the tied up player on his back, Morté rolling his eyes despite the bad situation he was in.

''Ggm, hmmmg, ggmmh,'' he answered nevertheless. ( **I have no idea what he just said.** )

''Yeah, I thought so too. Anyway, resources are limited here to do a proper assassination. You should know about the next floor. Heard they made a lot of changes since the beta about it.''

''Rgggghy?'' the tied man answered intrigued even if he knew he would not see it in a long time. ( **really?** )

''Yeah, totally. Although you wouldn't see it in the near future. Or in a future at all, if OP was not such a good guy. We need to talk by the way.'' Deadpool stated to the sky, the bonded player giving up for he could not follow the words of the Merc With Mouth.

When Deadpool dropped Morté off in a cell [Kicked him onto his ass and put the maximum sentence up for things Morté had not committed.] {We are doing him a favor!}, Deadpool's expression changed as he looked dead ahead.

''You got that right, you son of bitch! How dare you ignore this story for two freaking months?! I mean, there are people waiting for this chapter to come out and you just do stupid stuff like school, work, fapping over that fanfic Eroninja and more of that useless stuff. I mean, come on dude!'' Deadpool started his rampage to nothingness, drawing various confused players surrounding him.

While the red-clothed red player kept rampaging why life was unfair {Don't you dare ignore us!}, Argo had requested a meeting with one of her best contacts in the capital city of Zumfut. With Deadpool's own wide variety of contacts [I see where you're going], he wanted to join the Argo in her meeting.

''Wait, wait, wait, who are we meeting anyway? And don't think we are done over this yet, you piece of shit!'' Deadpool continued his rampage as the sun was about to go down, showing a beautiful afterglow of the sky. ''Stop ignoring me dammit!''

* * *

''I see. You are the remarkable red-clothed player I heard so much about.'' A calm low voice addressed the duo of players sitting in front of him. ''It is pleasure to meet you, Sir Deadpool.''

''I wish I could say the same, yet I don't who I am dealing with here.'' The Merc with Red stated as a matter-of-a-fact to the gray-haired player in front of him. Argo almost covered his mouth with her hand to silence him, but Heathcliff just laughed before focusing on Argo.

''It seems you still hold true to your name, Argo-san. Still giving no information for free, even to your friends.'' The gray-haired player stated smiling. ''I suppose I could tell you my name, but what am I to gain from it?''

''Name your price and let's see if its negotiable,'' Argo answered, grinning before Deadpool could react. ''I am sure you have heard of his amazing abilities if you have heard so much about him.''

''Ah yes. If I have to guess based off your tone, they do not seem to be exaggerated.'' Heathcliff answered confidently. Argo had to hold back a bit of frustration at the bit of information she wanted to use as material, was given for free.

Before she continued though, Deadpool stepped in. ''Let me guess. You're a beta player too.''

Heathcliff stared surprisingly at the player in front of him. ''How could you possibly know that?''

The fact that this information was all in the manual for dummies [Thank you for that.] gave Deadpool the absolute understanding who he had before him, something he was going to take advantage of. {Absolutely!}

''That is gonna cost you, buddy,'' Deadpool answered in the same confidence the opposing player showed before.

''How much?''

''Depends. What do you want to know? I could share why I think you are a beta player, my name, my abilities or maybe even my perfect date location. I have to say Wakanda does sound very beautiful this time of year.''

Heathcliff showed a smile before materializing a sack of Col out of his inventory and held it on the table. ''This is 12k Col. I assume that should be enough for the first three options.''

Argo stared with wide open eyes at her companion. For her, he was just the clueless red-coated player with strange powers, but apparently, he had other talents besides slashing. {Go fuck yourself.} [We are a mercenary after all.]

''Agreed,'' Deadpool stated before taking the Col back in his inventory. ''Well, let start with the simple questions. The name is Deadpool. You can call me sir Deadpool or DP if I can drop the san.'' The Merc pointedly nodded the player before him.

Confirming he could drop the honorific, Deadpool continued. ''Seeing how you know miss rodent here so well, I assumed you had quite some history with her before the game started already. To be more precise, she displays the same behavior as another beta player you probably know as well. That was all I needed really. Then, for the third question, I have a teleporter skill that lets me teleport 100 times a day, a summoning skill that lets me produce any materials that can be sourced within the floor and a mimic skill that just makes me a lovely troll. Don't know how I got them and to be fair, I am not going to ask for pears from an elm tree. If you want to know more, I guess you got to pay a little more.''

To Argo's surprise, the gray-haired leader seemed to be generally happy with the explanation. Her suspicions were confirmed when he answered, ''That will not be needed. Now that introductions are out of the way, let us continue business Argo-san.''

* * *

The third floor was cleared two days later after the meeting, the evil tyrant boss known as Nerius {With a name like that, of course he's evil} died without taking a single player with him. Naturally, despite its wide area attack, the tree had a weakness to the axe class and let's just say, Deadpool had enough of those.

Some believed he was singing while he was cutting down the giant tree monster, but none had confirmed this rumor to be true for they were too concerned about the fatal risk presented by the level 2 poison.

For a reason unknown [Laziness], Kirito, Asuna, Argo, and Deadpool were sent to the fourth floor. The fact that the entire fourth floor consisted of rivers was strange and previously unencountered, clearly expressed by the confusion on the faces of the beta players.

Kirito, however, the brilliant Jesus-kun he truly was [Told you so], found a way to surf the wild rivers in the form of tubes [That hang from a tree.] {How ridiculous could it be?}.

''You guys are way too slow! Woohoo!'' Deadpool shouted as he surfed over the raging river like a freakin roller-coaster. The other three players followed suit, excitement and fear dancing around in Asuna's eyes. Argo could only shout like a small happy child and Kirito tried to remain cool, which was not that easy with the cold water touching his swim shorts. Suddenly, in Deadpool's mind, the soundtrack of Jaws began to play.

''What are you planning?'' Deadpool asked himself. ''I don't like where this is going. Why are you playing that music?''

[Shark nearby?]

{Why don't we have the search skill?}.

Before Deadpool could turn around and warn his teammates, Kirito peddled forward while shouting, ''Mobs behind us!'' Asuna and Argo charged forward to the closest shore whilst Deadpool fell behind due to the speed he was missing. He then noticed the large red fin coming out of the water.

''You can't do this?! Make me move! Do your wind thing!'' Unfortunately, the wind on that day was extremely gentle. {Oh, come on!} The sound of the Jaws theme became heavier the closer the mob got. The beast jumped out of the water, but before it could catch Deadpool, the Merc leaped out of the river and made his way to the shore, running like a madman on the water like as if in an old childish cartoon.

Despite dodging the bite and landing on the shore in just matter of seconds, he could not slowdown in time and struck the tree a just ahead, head-on.

''Sir Deadpool!''

''DP, you okay?!''

''I…really…hate…you…for…this.'' The Merc in Red whispered, sliding down the oak. Finally landing on his butt, Deadpool opened his eyes to the other players and still noticed the two girls. He looked between Asuna's red-white bikini, Argo's mellow-yellow one and Kirito's last attack swim shorts from the second floor. I'm not going to explain why they are in their bathing suits. If you want to know, just read chapter 10 of Aincrad, but different.

''Have I arrived in heaven? I see two angels and Jesus-kun'' the Merc in Red asked with a wide grin.

''He's fine.'' Argo noted dryly. ''What was behind us anyway?'' Ignoring the nagging red-clothed player for the monster in front of them, they could see the fin was apparently the biggest part of the entirety of its body. To be more precise, the Gaudy Nepthene's fin was bigger than the remaining part of its body.

Noticing what he had been afraid of, Deadpool let out a sigh before summoning two blades and asked softly. ''Who wants Sushi?''

That was only the start of the fourth floor and the many adventures that would follow on this floor. [That, you must wait for, for another two months.] {Because OP can't plan.} Sigh.

* * *

 **Author's notes:**

''Hope you guys enjoyed this small chapter again. Sorry for the wait but this bastard just couldn't find the inspiration for another crazy chapter of me!''

My apologies, but I fear that was a bit true. Unfortunately, school is still quite harsh on me, the upcoming time, and inspiration, so forgive me. Hope you guys enjoyed the third floor and we are finally up to the 4th floor. Oh, I am so excited for this one!

Beyor out!-

''Next time on Sword Art Online: Deadpool. Titanic with a Viking death!''

[That sounds promising.]

{See you later, legends!}


	6. Chapter 6: Titantic with a Viking death

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sword Art Online or Deadpool. Both are owned by their respective owners.

* * *

''Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.''

Argo stared, surprised at the sudden outburst of song from her red-wearing companion, yet was smart enough not to ask any questions. One who wasn't that smart though, was the black-haired player stepping in front of her as he asked, ''Isn't that supposed to be sung when someone is sick?''

''Yeah, that's why I'm singing it. OP caught a cold and has been down for at least two weeks now.'' Deadpool explained, Kirito still not sure who the Merc in Red was referring to.

Not that he wanted to know that information either, for the new city called Rovia required his fullest attention. Especially when their method of travel wasn't your everyday routine, jumping from gondolas to the other sides of the canals. By the time they reached the teleporter in the main plaza, Argo had already left to investigate the city and its rich secrets.

''So, what now?'' Kirito turned to his companions once he had finally activated the teleporter to the next floor. _Or harassed it… depending on how one chooses to see it._

''Why not take a trip on the gondola until Argo comes back with some information?'' Asuna suggested, her eyes slightly sparkling despite her tiredness.

''Sure, that sounds like a plan. What do you think…? DP?'' Kirito trailed off as there was no trace of the Merc in Red that had stood at his side just a second before.

Before he could worry, he heard the sound of a splash, followed by an angry foreign shout, one unfamiliar to Kirito. On a gondola stood a man with black pants, a white and black striped shirt, a moustache that was definitely fake – poorly concealing a trademark red suit.

''Deadpool-san, what are you doing?'' Asuna asked as she ignored the NPC, who was mumbling to himself as he swum towards one of the stairs that led to the sides of the canals.

''Who is this Sir Deadpool you speak off, Bella Signorina?'' the Merc in disguise asked with an Italian accent. ''It does not matter. Could I do you a favor with a trip through this glorious city? Although, it seems you already have quite a fine partner to accompany you.'' Deadpool smiled as he stared at the flabbergasted black-haired swordsman.

Kirito couldn't even open his mouth before Asuna stepped onto the gondola and answered, ''Yes. Ticket for two please.'' She stared at Kirito with an urgent plea, earning a sigh as he entered the gondola as well.

Hazel eyes and a bright smile stared with delight at the beauty of their surroundings; the chalk-white buildings made a perfect addition to the already romantic setting that was Rovia.

Kirito did not have a clue what to do. He had certainly noticed the subtle change in his chestnut-haired partner but did not know how to handle it. And it definitely helped that Deadpool was whistling innocently behind them, rowing in a slow but gentle pace.

 _Dammit, DP. Row faster!_ Kirito's thoughts were mirrored in his facial expression and were picked up by the Disguised Merc all too well. Deadpool, however, just ignored it and even began to sing softly. Again.

''La Donna è Mobilé. Qual piuma al vento.

Muta d'accento, E di pensiero.

Sempre un amabile, Leggiadro viso.

In pianto o in riso, Ã¨ menzognero.''

[You know this isn't a love song right?] {Who cares? They don't know!} _Well, they do now._

They being a player, taken aback by the view, who had unintentionally shuffled a bit closer to Kirito, who didn't know what to do and was too tired to think of a way out without hurting anyone and last, but not least, the Merc enjoying himself by mimicking the Chant skill.

 _Hm, I just got an idea._ Deadpool stated internally before looking at his HUD and stating again internally, _Perfect timing_!

* * *

Argo had returned quicker than expected from her investigation, readying all the secrets she had discovered from the city in only three hours. They were all basic knowledge for the two beta players, yet there was a quest that she could not figure out.

In the northwest of the city, there was a simple house where an old NPC man lived. Argo had no idea how to activate it and asked the trio to investigate.

Kirito, the genius he was, had finally figured it out, and so started the quest -The Shipwright of Yore-, the only way to create a boat for your own on this breathtaking floor. {Right…}

The collection of the wood could have been done very shortly, yet Kirito wanted to earn the materials fair and square this time. The problem was Asuna agreed, so this time, the trio decided with a divergent vote that they would get the resources from the Bear Forest.

How Deadpool was now riding on the back off the giant fire bear, Magnatherium, in that same forest, none of them knew and none of them asked. ''DP, lead it this way!'' Kirito shouted, trying to make the large grey bear tackle a tree.

''A little busy here, pal! Stop eating my swords, you stupid teddy bear!'' Deadpool yelled as he plunged another sword into the skin of the giant bear, his seventh sword already vanishing due to its harsh nature.

The giant bear crashed into multiple trees and by the time it vanished into oblivion, the three players were panting heavily, their inventory full of Wood, Bear Fat and more of that stuff.

The darkness being a clear signal of how late it was, the quartet decided to catch some sleep before tackling the quest again. All in a separate room, Deadpool held tightly onto a teddy bear he was finally able to summon with his skill.

* * *

''Thank you for bringing the materials.'' the NPC Romolo said, the shipbuilder of the quest the quartet was undertaking. ''Please tell me how you would like your boat to be designed.''

A menu appeared in front of Kirito, who was assigned as the party leader of the group. The moment he told his partners the menu was in front of him, the other three surrounded him, the girls at each of his sides and Deadpool from behind, insisting he would make the menu visible for everyone to see.

Feeling a bit more rested than before, yet not too well due to the short three-hour nap, Kirito decided to stay out of the creation of the new boat. That was for the better because the three players in front of him couldn't agree on a single thing.

''No, we are not making it red and black with a bunny sign! And we are also not changing it to a rat.'' Asuna shook her head at the two with her.

''Party pooper.''

''Can we at least get a name for her?'' Argo asked impatiently.

Kirito, asking the obvious question, joined back in, ''Why would you call a boat a female?''

''Well, there are a thousand reasons, Kii-bou.'' Argo started, only for Deadpool to continue.

''Where do I start… let's see… Oh yes! There is always a great deal of bustle around her, usually a gang of men around her. Her rigging cost's more than her hull and it takes a lot of paint to keep her looking good. It is not the initial expense that breaks you, it's the upkeep; she can be all decked out. It takes an experienced man to handle her correctly and without a man at the helm, she is absolutely uncontrollable. She has her topsides, hides her bottom and last but not lease, when coming into port, she always heads for the boys.''

[Thank you, Densa Tanker.]

{Women might be triggered!}

Shit…

Asuna slapped Deadpool into one of the walls of the house while Argo corrected the Merc. ''Nope. The truth is the first sailors where male and saw their ship as partners. At least, this is one belief, just one of the many reasons why it could be. Anyway, do you know a good name for the boat, Kii-bou?''

Kirito gave it a quick thought before answering with, ''How about Tilnel?''

''Kii-chan sister? Great idea Kii-bou! And maybe we should make it the colors of the dark elves, with their symbol.'' Argo suggested.

''Sounds lovely.'' Asuna stared violently at the confused Merc in Red. ''I am sure we can all agree on it.''

''Fine, but the next time we are making a red-black bunny ship,'' Deadpool groaned as he gave in.

The remaining part of the designing was done before it even began. The ship was a five-seater, [One for Kizmel of course.] {Those naïve idiots.} and was armed with additional Fire Claws for a setting only Deadpool knew the purpose of. When the entire design was done, Romolo stepped out of the room and made a sketch. Accepting the boat's design, Romolo finally started to work on it in the back of his house.

''What now?'' Asuna asked.

Deadpool immediately answered, ''Well, I have something important to do, so I will see you guys when the boats are ready. I do believe someone has to stay in here in case someone else comes in and resets the entire thing, so… Bye bye!''

Before Kirito could process those words and shout something along the lines of, ''You bastard!'' both Deadpool and Argo had already taken their time to get out of the house. He was expecting to stand in the house alone and thus was visibly surprised when he was not the only one left.

''So, we must wait until the boat is ready. Mind if I take the chair to catch some sleep?'' Asuna gazed longingly at the large green chair where Romolo had sat before the quest began.

''Yeah, no problem,'' Kirito answered shortly, feeling tired despite the nap that he had earlier. Searching the room for a place, other than the chair, to find some sleep, Kirito could not find another piece of furniture to sleep on.

Noticing the shift in his eyes, Asuna piped up, ''The chair is big enough for the two of us. We can sleep sideways.'' [Now you are just copying progressive.] {Be creative, you magnificent bastard!}.

''Sure, thank you,'' Kirito instantly accepted, settling himself with his back against Asuna. And despite having just slept for three hours, sleep was coming to him quicker than he had expected.

* * *

''Now, I am sure what all of you beautiful bastards think, what is Deadpool going to do? And why the hell are we on the first floor once again? Not so quick, you bloody idiots. Have to wait to make sure not to spoil the surprise.'' Deadpool teased as he followed the mysterious wind [OP] through the crampy alleys of the Town of Beginnings.

He was moving through it surprisingly well. Jumping from one street, with his agility, off a wall before teleporting once just to jump from a roof - Assassins Creed style. The landing was unfortunately not in a pile of hay as the purple message of the Crime Prevention Code was clearly visible on Deadpool's landing place. Or in this case, his face.

''What are you talking about? I landed superhero style, you idiot.''

[Now, who are you going to believe?].

Turning another corner, he noticed a few players training their swords skills on walls while others were too busy working on their support skills. Crafters, blacksmiths, boys with weapons that just didn't fit them - due to Deadpool's actions. He even noticed a female brown-haired blacksmith {Liz?} but refrained from moving down this path and continued to follow the mysterious path of the wind.

''This is getting boring quite quickly. Don't get me wrong, more parkouring action is cool! But make me jump through windows! Let me crush walls or something! And why the hell is this city so big?!'' Deadpool asked himself as he still maneuvered skilfully through the hallways.

Thinking back to the singing he had done in his time in Aincrad, Deadpool remembered that in his Manual for Dummies, there was another player very well known for using the Chant skill. And since they were close to the sixth floor by now, he could persuade her to help him.

''You mean that white-haired girl from the movie, right? What was her name again…? Luna? Panu? Nauy?'' Deadpool once again muttered to himself, the wind moving him slowing down to an extent. Standing before him was an inn he was not familiar with, yet Deadpool's attention was shifted to a pop-up in his menu.

Pressing the -!- in the top right corner, his menu popped up in front of him, again with an orange line surrounding the option he had to continue in. Finally arriving at his inventory, he summoned the large book and began reading.

 _Fortieth floor… Prison floor…. Mysterious chantress… Asuna likes Kirito… Kirito is still depressed about the cats… Some loser called Nautilus_ {Who in his right mind would call himself that? _}… A songstress saving the day by sacrificing herself…. Oh yeah, that was her name. Oh, that was the whole history of_ Ordinal _Scale. Never understood that movie._ [But Jesus-kun and Asuna were magnificent in it.]

''Well, we have a quest: to save as many players as possible in this game. Might as well start early with this one.'' Finally making up his mind, Deadpool entered the inn and thought of a way to get the attention of its inhabitants.

That, however, wasn't necessary. [Oh…] {We had something amazing planned!} For the player Deadpool was looking for came down the stairs herself. _Wait, how late is it again?_ [I thought it was dark?]. {Then what were all those bloody idiots still doing training their skills and what is she going to do this late an hour?}.

 **Can you shut up for a second?! Just focus!**

…

''Did he just respond?'' Deadpool asked, the brown-haired girl that had just passed stopping before staring confoundment at the Merc in Red.

[I think he did.]

{This is glorious. We need to savor this moment.}

That, however, wasn't possible for a voice behind him asked with concern, ''Who are you referring to, Sir?''

Turning to the source of the voice, which was the brown-haired girl called Yuna, {We knew that already.} Deadpool coughed once before stepping forward, catching the worried hand of Yuna in both his hands and stating enthusiastically, ''I found my songstress.''

If Aincrad would have allowed crushing of walls by collision, Deadpool would have destroyed two walls already unwillingly. The first on the fourth floor, the second by the hand of a girl that was anything but fragile.

Many players decided to leave the place and thus only Deadpool and Yuna remained in the inn, Deadpool grinning as the purple window on the wall began to disappear. ''Nice bitch slap. Sorry about that. Had to make another reference. The name is Sir Deadpool. You must be Yuna.''

Yuna gave a thorough look up and down at the Merc in Red, which Deadpool happily accepted, even posing in a muscular stance before she said, ''You are that strange red-clothed player everyone is talking about. The one that fights on the frontline. What do you want?''

''Okay, maybe we started off the wrong foot here. I heard some rumors about someone that was talented with a flute and I wondered if you were interested in another skill that would help your music career.''

Yuna, angry and disgusted, seemed to ease a bit as she curiously asked, ''What is in it for you? What do you expect in return?''

''I like it! Just as much flair and spirit as Asuna and Argo. Now, what do I want in return? I know, let me train you and join me and my friends on the front line!'' Deadpool stated enthusiastically.

Yuna had already drawn at least four facial expressions in that short conversation, from concern to anger, to disgust, to embarrassment and straight up confoundment. ''Help you on the front line? I am not even strong enough yet. And it is not like I can do something with how I am now.''

 _Stop making her give those annoying answers and just let her come with me, OP!_

''I disagree.'' Deadpool started, Yuna staring surprised at him. ''Judging from your items, you have been training your skills as well. Dagger skill I assume.'' Yuna shakily nodded her head in confirmation and Deadpool continued, ''But you are indeed no front-line material yet. Then why do I ask that you join me? No one begins with a flute skill in a game of death. It must mean they are talented enough - or do have a passion for it.''

After taking a breather, [And making sure not to add too much text in one go] Deadpool continued, ''The current frontline is strong but only because we are still high-spirited. If we find a bump in the road, which will eventually happen, then that morale will drop and we will be weak-spirited again. So, with that thought of progress, I hoped you could take that position and help us keep morale high.''

Yuna crossed her arms, closing her eyes to think for a moment before concluding, ''So you come here for the clearing of the game. What can I expect when I do join you?''

''Anything you want,'' Deadpool stated confidently as he summoned a flute and a beautiful white dagger from behind him. ''Plus, a lovely adventure. Also, you can skip a few missions on the dark elf campaign. I can say this is an offer you can't refuse.'' Deadpool ended with his best impression of the godfather.

* * *

''Watch out!'' Argo shouted as the Tilnel almost crashed into the quay. ''Sheesh, get your head in the game, Kii-bou.''

''This is not as easy as it looks.'' Kirito retorted, doing his best to pull the Tilnel straight with its row. After almost crashing at least three more times, the party of now five were finally in the clear and began to explore the wilderness of the fourth floor, while the beautiful sound of a flute started to play.

''A warm morning-sun with almost no wind while sailing through a river and listening to such soothing sound. What more can one wish for?'' Deadpool sighed as he laid rested on the extra seat [because no one had considered the gondolier wasn't included in the deal] with his hands behind his head.

''To have a better helmsman is one thing.'' Asuna said as she was still worried for the health of her beloved boat, an offended Kirito trying his best to ignore that statement. ''To get out of the game is another.''

''Party pooper. Can't you just enjoy the ride?'' The Merc in Red retorted, Asuna ignoring him. Yuna was enjoying the ride as well while Argo had her eyes closed and listened with a smile to the delightful music.

Before Argo could ask a question, a giant blue Scuttle Crab spawned from their left and Kirito bashed the Tilnel with its powerful bow into the newly spawned monster. Asuna immediately targeted the beast with -Parallel Sting- before Deadpool teleported onto its head and pierced it with two Annual blades +8.

The crab shattered shortly after, Yuna too receiving experience for this encounter. ''How did I earn any experience? I didn't even help to defeat it!''

''Not sure, but it is quite interesting. Maybe we could use it to train weaker players? What do you think, Kii-bou?'' Argo asked, staring at her gondolier.

''Maybe with a 10-person boat and five tanks, that could be an option. I highly doubt that Kayaba would leave such a thing untouched.'' Kirito answered.

''True. Kayaba would nerve the heck out of it the moment people try it and it becomes well known. If he wanted to make things easier, he could have done it much easier.'' Deadpool complemented.

''Like?'' Asuna asked.

''Well, achievements are one thing. Now, the only way to level up is to fight monsters and to risk your life, which will stop a lot of players from participating in this world and what it has to offer. However, award a player by completing a number of quests, crafting something new or earning another skill and even the people at the beginning will do their best to get the most out of their virtual lives.''

Argo stared surprised at the Merc in Red before suggesting, ''You should lay that idea in front of Kayaba. I assume he still observes this world and with the shit you have been doing the last few weeks, I am sure he is observing you.''

''Argo please. Stop praising that already too inflated ego. Only a few more compliments and it will explode.'' Asuna stated dryly, Yuna sniggering before she focused her attention back to her flute.

And so the almost full party of five continued their trip through the wilderness, all openly, or secretly, enjoying the view that stood around them.

* * *

The quest -The Shipwright of Yore- naturally did not remain a secret that only the five players knew and two days after their first trip through the rivers of the fourth floor, the other groups of the front line had created ships for their own.

The fact that the Aincrad Dragon Alliance had six ten-player ships and that the two groups were strengthened by the four-man squad and their ship called the Pequod, was the solid reason that the two-headed turtle field boss was defeated so quickly. Especially when Deadpool kept on piercing and slashing away at its head the entire time. [No reference this time.] {We're ashamed as well.}

After taking a short break in the next town, the players entered a mysterious fog and at least two players had their breath taken away by the beauty of the castle that appeared a moment later.

''It is as beautiful as it was in the beta. Isn't that right, Kii-bou?'' Argo asked both grinning and showing to be still impressed by the familiar castle in front of her.

''Absolutely,'' Kirito answered back with a childish smile.

A combination of nervousness and excitement had Yuna at her mercy and without asking any questions, she followed Kirito, Asuna and Deadpool. Her nerves took over when the guards asked for identification and her excitement took over when she stood in the beautiful courtyard of Yofel Castle.

''This is so beautiful.'' Yuna's eyes sparkled as she let out her wonder.

Those sparkles disappeared though as she was snapped out of her daze when an unknown woman's voice answered, ''Thank you for your sincere words.''

Five sets of eyes shifted to that voice, the source being a beautiful purple-haired dark elf with a well fitted purple dress, no trace of her usual saber, shield or armor at all.

''Kizmel!''

''Ki-chan!''

With astounding agility and impressive leaps, both Argo and Asuna had their arms around the dark elf. Kizmel smiled brightly as she returned the hug to both of them. She smiled at Kirito, gave Deadpool a welcoming nod [Hey, it is something] and shifted her attention to the brown-haired girl. ''Sorry for frightening you. I have yet the pleasure in meeting another partner of my friends so let me introduce myself. My name is Kizmel, member of the Pagoda Knights, from the kingdom of Lyusula.''

Yuna's mixed expressions of fear and excitement returned to confoundment and excitement as she replied, ''My name is Yuna. A pleasure to meet you, Kizmel-san.'' While Kizmel let the players inside, Yuna asked Argo in a hushed whisper, ''What was that? I know you said you had an NPC companion but how could she react so well to me?''

Argo grinned, ''You have seen nothing yet, Yu-chan.''

And for the next five hours, Yuna could indeed confirm why Argo said she hadn't seen all there is to see. Reacting to every question Yuna sent Kizmel's way and occasionally returning a question as well as showing interest in the flute skill. That, in combination with Deadpool's magic and strange mimics, [No woman of culture I see.] had Yuna laugh, be embarrassed and enjoy her evening a lot more than she had ever expected.

How she ended up in a large mixed bath with a light-blue swimsuit on made by Asuna together with two girls, a dark elf and two boys had her surprised the most.

''Nothing better than a hot bath after a long day of work,'' Deadpool stated as he lay the length of his body along the bath, his feet almost at the other end of the bath. Not that he took a bath in his everyday life but those are just minor details. [Payback?] {That was bitchy.}

''You think? I think the water feels kind of weird.'' The black-haired partner replied, not knowing the secrets of a certain setting. _I see_ , _I see._

Not needing any guidance on the next part, Deadpool stated confidently, ''That is probably because you don't know the true way of how to enjoy a bath like this.''

Noticing Deadpool was hiding something, both Argo and Kirito's curiosity was piqued, and the rat asked, ''What do you mean, DP?''

Deadpool grinned, feeling the hook already bitten by the prey he wanted to catch as he answered, ''Not going to tell you. If you want something, you got to pay for it. And if you give me three weeks, you get a whole new manual with it as well.''

Argo laid back in her mellow-yellow bathing suit as she replied with, ''Fine. But I want it in three weeks, DP. And you better not hold back on me.''

''Noted,'' Deadpool grinned, the rat suddenly feeling a cold shiver running up her back despite the hot water that was embracing her.

''Well, considering how we have discovered that fallen elf base and have beaten another field boss, I would say we did earn this moment of relaxation,'' Asuna had her eyes closed and therefore had not noticed the shocked expression that had took hold of Kizmel's face.

''Fallen?! Where did you encounter them?!''

And thus began the explanation of the -Shipwright of Yore Part 2- quest as well as the activation of the third part of that quest. After a quick gathering at the top of the castle, in the office of Viscount Yofilis {Shady bastard!} and all gaining a ring to get unlimited and easy entrance into any dark elf facility, the Defense of Yofel Castle quest had started.

With only three days remaining, the players had to prepare themselves for anything the forest elves had to throw at them. What the forest elves or the five other members of Deadpool did not know, was that the Merc in Red had a surprise for the invading forces as well.

* * *

With only one day remaining, the players were not only trained and prepared for the battle that was about to happen but were actually keen on finally starting that so long-awaited fight.

Naturally, the darkness of the evening had already fallen over the lands, making sure the five-player party retreated back to Yofel's castle. That, however, did not stop both Kirito and Deadpool as they were currently occupied in the training hall of the dark elves.

The blue sparks of a one-handed sword skill struck a shield before a two-handed battle axe came crashing down, the receiver barely dodging it. Immediately countering it with a Horizontal sword skill, Deadpool had to drop his axe and summon a curved sword just to block it, instantly countering it with an uppercut that was blocked by Kirito's arm. The black-haired swordsman shuffled backward before a big grin grew on his face and jumped straight back in on his partner.

While the countdown for the duel was at half its mark, both players showed the best of their abilities [Well, we are still holding up!] {Only a bit though.} and clashed for a sixth time, iron clashing with iron and flesh clashing with flesh. [That sounds wrong.] {We are talking Martial Arts here, not something else.}

On the side, Asuna, Kizmel, Argo, and Yuna witnessed the duel between the two. ''Do they do this often?'' Yuna asked, finding the easiness of striking the other player's health down quite terrifying, even if it was just a friendly duel.

Argo sighed before she answered, ''They used to do this a lot, but luckily, they toned it down. It is not easy when you are in the middle of the field when someone suddenly askes, 'Kirito, duel me!' ''

Asuna shared that opinion as she added, ''Don't have to tell me twice. Sometimes I just thought they were doing it just to attract more mobs.''

''Which would be an excellent way to strengthen yourself if I say so myself,'' Kizmel said thoughtfully. ''Perhaps they need to require some communication skills first before doing such a thing though.'' She added when she noticed the complicated faces of both Argo and Asuna.

At the same time, a two-handed sword clashed with an Annual Blade +8, before the new sword skill -Horizontal Square- was activated. Knowing the sword skill from the Manual of Dummies and just by his assumed skill, Deadpool countered the four strikes perfectly, before kicking his partner in the balls in the cooldown.

Feeling the uneasiness of that sensation crawling through his body, Kirito lifted his head before asking, ''Was that really necessary?''

''Absolutely!'' Deadpool answered with a grin before coming down with another strike, Kirito dodging it by stepping forward and punching Deadpool back in the nuts with an uppercut, finally ending the battle.

''And that's payback.''

Deadpool was suddenly very happy OP had a say in his options and disabled that certain option he was previously referring to. If not, Deadpool would have been in for a nasty surprise. _Pain_? [Ooh] {Not the nuts!} _Thanks OP. Should not forget to add that in the manual as well._

Leaving the room for a moment to rest, [Or just for other reasons.] Deadpool decided to think out loud. ''Yeah right. You know I am talking to you. I have no idea what you expect me to do tomorrow, so I was hoping you could help me. There is nothing in this book about your plan, so if you got something, now is the time to tell me.''

For a moment, there was no reaction. Then, in the corner of Deadpool's eye, a certain candle on the wall began to respond to the mysterious wind that came from the tunnel. ''Not the wind thing again, OP. Come on man! Speak to me! Besides, I still don't have a clue what you are saying.''

The wind pushed one last time harshly in Deadpool's face before it vanished and another -!- popped up in Deadpool's HUD. When the Merc in Red pressed it, a new window popped up in front of him saying: -New Item received: Tactics of the Three Kingdoms book-

''Three Kingdoms? Where did I hear that before?''

[Wasn't that supposed to be the story from Dynasty Warriors?'']

{You want us to use a tactic from that time? What could possibly work in this scenario?!}

Pressing the dark orange lined OK button, ''Okay I get it. You are irritated. Easy.'' The book landed in Deadpool's hand, immediately followed by a harsh wind blowing it open. ''Okay, I assume you have waited a long time for this idea. Better be spectacular then. What am I looking at?''

In front of him was a certain inspiring battle, one that proved tactics were much more valuable than the number of opponents. Pictures of ships, a burning-red tiger and a magnificent green dragon versus an even more beautiful and threating sight of a blue Phoenix.

''Okay, I am not in the mood of a history lesson. Just tell me what I need to know.''

Feeling the temperature rise in the room by the sudden brightly burning of the candles, {Easy there. We're sorry!} orange lines began to appear on certain parts of the book. Shifting his attention to the book once more, Deadpool started to read it once again.

 _Battle of…. overpowered by the enemy forces… the use of two elements turned the tide… shattered the enemies' forces into oblivion… ooh… I like it!_

[Now the candle and the temperature are suddenly obvious.]

{Mind to dial them down though? You still want a Deadpool if you want this plan to follow through tomorrow.}

While the flames on the candles began to lessen, a soft breeze gently lowered the temperature to how it was previously. {Thank you.}

''However, as much as I like the idea and assuming you handle one of the two aspects, we still need to create the other.''

Another pop-up captured Deadpool's attention and he noticed orange lines [Can you do blue or maybe red? Why orange?] surrounding a certain skill in his skill slots. Then, for the first time using this skill, his body moved with a system-assisted movement as he took something from behind his back and held it in front of his face.

A large grin appeared on Deadpool's face before he stated, ''Perfect. Let's do this. And while we're here anyway, with Jesus-kun probably too busy with the girls, I can tell you my opinion on the reviews. Let's see.''

Noticing he had three reviews, he stated, ''Well better than last time. First is from … [For protective purposes blocked], Yeah we know everything about the guy. And I am planning to abuse it to its fullest potential!'' Deadpool stated grinning.

Noticing the next review he stated, ''Well, fuck you too! Just kidding you bloody legend. Keep staying cool. And the third one? Yeah, Aincrad Geographic is just so amazing. And I heard episode 2 should be around the corner [Which will be another two months if we have to believe OP.] {Or now, depending on when you are reading this.} Now, where is the other guy? Did I scare him when I reacted to his review the last time?''

[You probably did.]

Unfortunately for Deadpool, the time he had left to speak with himself was none because the door behind him opened and all his companions stepped out. Face drooping in exhaustion, Asuna yawned, ''I really could use a bath right now.''

''Not if I am first! And I am going fully naked! Care to join me, Kirito-boy?'' Deadpool shouted as he ran past them, grabbing the confused boy by the arm and dragging him with him.

''Oh, hell no!'' Kirito cried as he tried to get loose of the hold on his arm.

''I am going in first!'' Asuna shouted as she tried to catch up to the Merc in Red, leaving the other three girls behind.

Silence hung a moment before Kizmel suddenly pondered, ''Maybe I should join them. I wonder what Sir Deadpool looks like under that mask.''

''And go in completely naked?'' Yuna asked as her face became completely red.

Argo grinned before stating jokingly, ''What are you worrying about, Yu-chan? Don't tell me you are that prudish.''

''I am not! But it feels just a bit strange to do this when I have only known you guys for a week…''

''Yet, you trust them with your life. Strange.'' Kizmel stated as she headed in the same direction of the other three players.

The remaining part of that evening bath was filled with an almost completely naked laughing and likeable Deadpool, [Except for the mask of course!] a more naked embarrassed Kirito, a naked comfortable Kizmel, a beet-red naked Asuna, a laughing and grinning Argo the Rat, another rat that had no idea where the cheese was, {How did he get in the castle?} and another embarrassed naked Yuna. Yeah, things had escalated quickly. [Nailed it!]

* * *

''So, what is the plan?'' Kirito asked his companions, all except Argo sitting in the Tilnel at the quay of the dark elf castle. She had to inform the other groups about the plan of Kirito and the others, to make sure none of them did anything reckless. Not that they were planning it, for their own battle in the elf campaign would start two days later.

''How about we attack from the side? If we use the rocks on the side as cover, we can surprise the invasion and cut them short.'' Deadpool suggested, Asuna not in the mood to argue over such a thing while Yuna was too embarrassed to say anything at all.

Only Kizmel was in the mood to smile as she answered confidently, ''Sounds like a well thought out tactic. Let us proceed to the stone walls of this lake.''

''You heard the lady. Put some muscle in those lovely arms of yours, partner.'' The Merc in Red shot a cheeky smile, Asuna and Yuna once again becoming red-heads when flashes of Kirito's arms got mixed with flashes of his naked body the evening before.

Despite having trained well in the couple of days prior to this one, the harsh wind of the day made the rowing a bit more difficult for Kirito than he was expecting. Finally arriving at the side, the group waited while Yuna started to play her flute again to calm down. Asuna composed herself thanks to the sound and prepared herself internally for a battle that could become just as heavy as a boss fight.

Kizmel enjoyed the soft sound of the little instrument as she added a bit of humming to the already delightful music. And Deadpool just mimicked a drum as he made a little rhythm with the sound of his hands clapping on his legs. That display of teamwork did not last long, stopping when the alarms of the castle echoed through the air.

''Here they come,'' Kirito stated, readying himself. The first line of the forest elf invasion consisted of three boats, followed by four boats, followed by another five boats, followed by boats, followed by… {We get it! A lot!}

Kirito wanted to intercept the fourth line, bringing the battle around the castle when Deadpool stood up and shouted, ''Time for some music!''

Under the guidance of the song Burn it to the Ground by Nickelback, Deadpool used his mimic skill to mimic the motion from the day before, grabbing a lit-up torch from behind his back.

''DP? What are you doing?''

''A change of tactics, pal! Let's burn them up!'' He shouted enthusiastically. Before anyone could stop him, he teleported away, only to be found on the first ship of the invasion.

Before one of the forest elves NPCs could even comprehend there was an enemy in front of them, Deadpool threw the torch to the middle of the boat, giving the steering wheel from the ship a complete twist. He ended his act with another summoning of a sword, just to jam it into the wheel to keep it positioned.

While the first ship was catching fire and turned straight against the one next to it, Deadpool had already teleported to another ship and repeated the process. Thus, when the Merc was done and both the fire and the harsh wind had done their thing, only two ships had made it out of the chaos scatheless.

On the side, Kizmel smiled, staring at the sea of fire as she approved, ''What an original tactic. It would have been wise to inform us of it first, but it is a pleasant surprise nevertheless.''

''I wouldn't be so sure,'' Asuna added as she pointed to the instant fog and noticed extra ships as reinforcement coming. Kirito whistled once and waved at Deadpool, who instantly used his teleportation to come back to the Tilnel.

''What's the matter, partner? Not happy with my tactic?''

''No, it is not that. The problem is you are not done yet.'' Kirito answered as he pointed to the ships.

Deadpool shrugged, ''Just a minor detail. Give me a second.''

The problem was, it wasn't so minor. Cardinal, the main system of the world of Aincrad, was programmed to have certain situations in the campaign quests. And when these situations were placed, the system wasn't that flexible that it could change it on the spot. For that reason, one ship after another came as long as the conditions were not met, something the players figured out when the 49th wave of forest elves came and Deadpool was out of teleportation.

''Strange how the forest elves have so many troops. Even if they win this fight, they have already lost too much in this single battle.'' Kizmel noted. ''Is the fall of Yofel castle truly worth that many lives?''

''Well, if they are defeated, everything is good, right? With a 'battle' like this, we can assume we will no longer have any problems with them.'' Yuna answered, the nervousness from the beginning of the battle completely faded away in those two hours of watching burning ships.

''That is true. Anyway, let's focus on the enemy before us.''

''Right!'' Three voices answered confidently.

* * *

Naturally, things had to go bad eventually and that moment came when the 65th wave finally broke through the dark elf barricade and had made it onto the docks. Yuna, Kizmel, Kirito, and Asuna were protecting the gate with a few dark elves from their invaders when DP had an idea.

''AAAH!'' A forest elf screamed in pain, running to the water before shattering into oblivion, the three swords that were up his butt falling on the ground.

''You gave me the idea. I like that Darius guy in your other story.'' Deadpool explained to himself. A harsh wind blew away another attacker that was by his side, saving him just in time.

''So compliments are the way to go with you. That is noted!'' Deadpool declared loudly before stabbing a forest elf in the chest with one sword, stabbing another sword in the side of his neck and following it up by jamming the first sword deeper before jumping backward and summoning a giant two-handed sword.

''Time to go Berserk,'' Deadpool grinned, before smashing that heavy sword onto a forest elf spearman. Copying the movements of the first and original 'Black Swordsman', Deadpool's mimic style kicked in and he used the sword with only one hand.

''This is more like it!''

''Deadpool-san, watch out!'' Yuna shouted. And before Deadpool noticed what had happened, the forest elf warrior that was about to strike him was launched back by an Oblique from the fencer.

''Well thanks.''

''No problem. Don't do anything reckless.''

''Don't ask too much,'' Deadpool shot back, grinning, Asuna sighed before shifting her attention back to a new enemy. Not much later, the voice of a dark elf could be heard, calling above all else. ''Warriors of Lyusula! I apologize for my long absence and I beg for your strength! The future of Lyusula rests on this battle! For the sake of the queen, friends and family, stand strong and fight with me!''

[I missed you copying.]

{Glad you are still the same.}

Under the guidance of the four buffs of Viscount Yofilis and the return of their black-haired companion, the five party members charged forward without a second to waste. Stabbing elves in the chest, neck or butt; Deadpool didn't stop.

By the time all the forest elves had retreated or been destroyed, five hours had passed. It was for that reason all five players fell on their knees or their backs when the quest log appeared, only to shock back awake.

Before the quest had started, Deadpool was level 18, as well as Kirito and Kizmel. Asuna was level 17, and Yuna was level 12. When that reward window appeared, at least one player wondered if the game had made another mistake, apart from letting Kizmel live. The current levels for the players [and NPC dark elf] present were as followed:

\- Kirito, level 24.

\- Asuna, level 23.

\- Kizmel, level 24.

\- Deadpool, level 24.

\- Yuna, level 20.

''What just happened?'' The now level 20 dagger user was bewildered, now strong enough to get her fifth skill. ''How did we get so much experience all of a sudden?''

Kirito answered, as he tried to get back up on his feet, ''I am not certain but I think it has to do with the extra waves the game added just to bring us to this point. It is not that hard to figure out when you consider how many forest elves we have beaten over the course of this afternoon.''

''Roughly 10,000 forest elves.'' Asuna added, Kirito's shocked expression making the situation almost funny. Or just funny in Deadpool's eyes. {You've got to admit it is.} [On another note, I can see why you were so keen on writing this part.]

Before he could repeat that huge number of opponents, the players noticed someone floating over the water using water shoes that were available in Rovia. Together with her tremendous agility, it had learned itself the trick to skate over water.

''Argo?!'' Kirito was shocked, not expecting that from his beta friend.

''Took you guys long enough. What have you been doing for those five hours?'' the rat asked grinning.

''Burning down 65 waves of forest elf ships and defeating around 10,000 forest elves. Anything I didn't add?'' Deadpool asked his companions.

''No, that seems about accurate enough.'' Asuna answered, aware of the bewildered look Argo gave her. Yet, she was expecting a more flabbergasted expression from the rat.

The reason Argo wasn't that shocked about the statement was the following. ''That explains the six levels that I gained just now. Anyone got something more to share?''

''I got a new skill.'' Deadpool smirked, followed by an ''Oh, shit…'' from his black-haired companion.

* * *

Two days later, the raiding group stood in front of the black doors of the 4th-floor dungeon. Normally, Diavel would be giving a speech, Deadpool not listening, Jesus-kun focusing on the fight that was about to come and more of that useless crap. **Deadpool, get off my keyboard!**

 _Fine, fine. This is just the end of the chapter so you have to make it spectacular._ Today, however, things were not the same. _No kidding. Are you going to tell why yet?_ **Fuck off, I am still talking.**

The only guild on the front line had tried to do the same tactic as the other group in the campaign, yet without any additional reward. And thus, the difference in strength was well known by the players. Diavel, the strongest of the guild was level 18 while Kirito was still level 24.

Now, that was not the strangest part. The strangest part was the assistance of both Kizmel and Viscount Yofilis in the battle. And judging from the ADA faces who had chosen the forest elf side of the campaign, the Mahogany cursor from Kizmel and the black cursor of Yofilis were a clear indication they were not to be trifled with. [A bit going with progressive, but not that troublesome.]

Before one could ask if it was a good idea to have the dark elves help them in this battle, Viscount Yofilis stepped forward and said, ''Warriors of mankind! If you intend to fight, then stand ready at once! If not, be quiet! In either case, through my pact with these humans, I will dispatch this guardian. In my name, Yofilis, knight of Lyusula, I command all who can stand to follow my lead!''

With the four additional buffs proved by the speech, the seventh large raiding group charged into the chamber, Deadpool the first of many that unleashed its fury on Wythege the Hippocampus.

And despite its special ability to close the door and overflow the entire chamber with water, the beast had no chance against the combined assault of the players present. It naturally helped that Argo was pushing the doors open from the outside the moment water poured out of it. It also helped that Deadpool tried to ride the beast as a normal horse, making it smash into every wall that it possibly could. [No meme.] {But it is something!}

Saying their goodbyes to Kizmel on the fourth floor, the party of five moved forward, up the stairs towards the next adventure that was waiting for them.

* * *

 **Author's note:**

So that was it for chapter 6. Finally finished the fourth floor. Things have been hectic.

''Agreed. Pho, your life is a mess man. Get your act together.''

[Agreed. But glad you paid some attention to this masterpiece.]

{Now, focus on that shit of yours again!}

Thank you, Fate-of-Wishes, for beta-reading this chapter. Solid job as usual.

Hope you guys enjoyed this double-sized chapter and hope to see all you legends in the next one. Beyor out!-


	7. Chapter 7: Preparations

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sword Art Online or Deadpool. Both are owned by their respective owners.

''This Chapter is brought to you by Beyor and beta-read by Fate-of-Wishes. Have fun!''

* * *

Karluin. The capital city of the fifth floor and the only city that was in clear view throughout the entire level. The fifth floor's theme was Relics and that was clearly portrayed in the layout that consisted of countless underground tunnels and tracks. Underground lay even cities, a crack in the far distance giving only a glimpse of where the second town of this floor should be.

Within an old castle in that very same city stood Kirito, reflecting on life and everything else that had happened over the last few days. A ghostly treasure-hunting adventure, his red-pyjamaed partner scaring the crap out of Asuna by making use of her phobia of ghosts. He recounted the field and floor bosses that were easily handled even when his partner once again found himself in a tight situation – which he had strangely taken advantage of, by planting a continuous number of spears in Fuscus's mouth.

All of this while Kirito was still trying to come up with a reason for his partner's recent ability developments. Not only had the number of available teleports increase to 200 ever since arriving on the new floor, he too had received the miracles and overpowered skill – Regeneration -. Although it was still only at 10% percent of its total proficiency, it was still strong enough to heal the idiot back to full in a mere twenty minutes.

There was the Flag of Valor incident, but that was taken care of in a matter of seconds. For now, the quintet-party had decided to watch the New Year fireworks in the almost everlasting darkness of the fifth floor. Realizing it was almost 12:00 o'clock and the fireworks would begin, the black-haired boy turned around and made his way back to where the others were supposed to be.

Although that was the plan, a sudden shiver ran down his spine, his instincts screaming he was in danger. Before he could even figure out what was going on, Kirito instinctively dodged an incoming dagger and materialized his Sword of Evertide. He was only a second too late though as he felt the point of something sharp pressing against his back, accompanied by an ice-cold voice whispering with a hint of manically pleasure, ''It's showtime.'' When Kirito tried to move, the point on his back increased in pressure. ''Whoopsie, stay still now. I wouldn't want you to move and get stabbed by my knife."

''Who are you?''

''You haven't worked it out yet? I'm kind of disappointed, blackie.''

It didn't take long for Kirito to put the pieces together. ''You're Morte's boss. The one who taught the Legend Braves the scram and tried to break the front line apart.''

''Oh, I like it. Sounds mysterious. Anyways, why don't you tell me where that red-clothed partner of yours is?''

''You'll have to be more specific!'' A shout echoed behind them as Deadpool teleported behind the attacker and crouched down. ''Leaf Village Secret Finger Jutsu: One Thousand Years of Death!''

Before either player could even comprehend what was happening, the system stepped in and the Crime Prevention Code appeared, sending Morte's boss flying at least six feet into the air.

''You're not getting away!'' Deadpool declared before he ran forward, having already spent all his teleports for this day. Before he could do anything though, the attacker dropped a smoke bomb and vanished.

''Next time you're going to have to come up with something better than that ninja crap, you DC copy! Until next time, blackie!''

Kirito momentarily tensed, activating his search skill before relaxing and letting out a huge sigh. ''Thank you, DP. That was a close call.'' It was only once he moved a little closer that he noticed the Merc with a Mouth had not reacted like he usually did. ''DP, are you alright?''

''He knew who I was...'' Deadpool whispered before shouting, ''He knew the meme!''

[We have to find him again.]

{We have a partner in crime!}

Kirito sighed, ''DP, the fireworks are about to begin. Are you coming along?''

''Oh, yeah of course!'' Deadpool answered, his mind half occupied by the event that had just taken place.

Only when the fireworks had started was Deadpool was fully back to the present. He had received a hundred PM's from all the friends he had in his menu, but the one that currently drew his curiosity wasn't one of them.

''Happy new year DP,'' Argo said as she hugged the red-pyjamaed player with a smile.

''Happy new year, Argo.''

Argo frowned. His response was a little bland in comparison to what she was used to, but she decided to let it slide. Late at night, around two o'clock to be precise, the players decided to sleep again for the next day would be just as exhaustive as the past few.

Deadpool, laying in his bed, unironically slapped himself to wake up and said, ''Wake up you shithead. We need to find that bastard tomorrow and meme… I mean capture him alive! Goddammit!''

Mumbling, ''Nobody calls me a DC copy without experiencing why I am so much better than that old man,'' Deadpool fell into a deep slumber.

* * *

The sixth floor was literally a puzzle floor, the floor of the capital city alone a giant game of sudoku that changed patterns each day. To enter your room, you needed to solve a simple puzzle. Even the field boss was hidden in a mystery, one both Kirito and Asuna had tried to solve but ...

''You really have no creativity, do you?'' Deadpool mumbled to himself in the room, reading the manual of dummies once more, as well as reading the manual that was gifted to him by an unknown force. ''Which is total reasonable by the way. I mean, that Reki bastard just added five progressives in the shop and after that, it was all pure imagination.''

[And it still has to be logical.]

{No flying tiger unicorns?}

''And on top of that, this book only has the main plot in it, and we all know how that is going right now.''

[Should we go differently?]

{Well, we already have Yuna here. Might as well go find the others!}.

Before deciding to agree with the pair of voices in his head, Deadpool had another thing to share. ''Yeah, pretty much. I know who the hell that was, but how did that bastard know who I was?! He even called me a DC copy… I beat that old bastard! [It's true.] {It's on Death battle!}. And he knew the goddamn meme!''

Not knowing what to do at this point, Deadpool decided to venture through his menu once again and inspected his newly updated skills.

\- Teleportation, 200/1000. -

\- Magic Satchel, 60/1000. -

\- Mimic, 60/1000. -

\- Martial Arts, 279/1000. -

\- Regeneration, 60/1000. –

''Another skill that levels up on each floor with 10 points. Hope you have something epic planned for these skills because this will take a hell of a long time to upgrade.'' [At least we have the Martial Arts skill.]

Deadpool wanted to say more, however, the sound of a knock interrupted his thoughts and behind it, a familiar voice asked, ''DP, come look at what Yuna has.''

''Fine, fine. I've got nothing to do anyway.'' Deadpool answered shortly before pushing himself out of bed and opening the door.

Following the rat through the puzzling inn, the duo finally arrived at the brown-haired girl's room and knocked on the door. ''Yu-chan, can we come in?''

''Sure!'' their latest asset {Ha, you said ass!} said cheerfully before Argo and Deadpool stepped in. Deadpool was not expecting to see her that cheerfully at all and certainly was confused when she hugged him in an instant.

''Yu-chan?'' Argo asked confused.

''Not that I don't like it, but what's this for?'' The Merc in Red asked curiously. Yuna released herself from Deadpool, a beautiful emotion held in her eyes before she activated her latest addition.

A beautiful chant echoed through the room, Deadpool's worries and other negative symptoms of the past few days drifting away with the music. After three minutes had passed by, both listeners stood with their eyes closed and were humming along to the delightful melody. Yuna stopped, opened her eyes and asked, ''How was it?''

''That was so beautiful. Don't you agree, DP?'' Argo asked before she noticed the Merc had teleported in front of Yuna.

Kneeling in front of her, he asked, [Almost begged.] ''Can I have your autograph?''

Noticing the big grin on his face, as well as the unexpected embrace she had missed, Argo let out a smile before thinking, _he's back_.

 _She was worried about us? Then we better not disappoint her again, right OP?_

[Well said.]

{We're back in action!}

So Deadpool knew also immediately what to do. The problem in current Aincrad was there was just no action at the moment, except for a tad bit on the front line. But he knew someone capable enough to change that.

* * *

''Wasn't the information last time sufficient, Argo-san?'' the grey-haired player asked the rat as their second meeting on the sixth floor was about to start. ''And it's fancy meeting you again, Deadpool.'' Heathcliff followed on to the Merc in Red.

''This is not about the campaign quest, Heathcliff-san,'' Argo started. ''I was wondering what you knew about the chant skill?'' Deadpool in the meantime was juggling with some swords, an NPC maid constantly repeating ''That is dangerous. That is dangerous.''

''The chant skill?'' Heathcliff asked, confounded and curious. ''I believe only one player had achieved it in the beta, but he had only tested it a few times before the deadline was reached. In that aspect, I can't help you very well.''

''In which aspect can you?'' Deadpool asked, instantly catching the implication of those words [Or the underscore to be precise].

Heathcliff shifted his attention to the Merc and answered, ''Only my personal thoughts. Although a Chant skill is nice and all, this required the player to exit the safe zones to obtain it, just like the Martial Arts skill. Because of the trouble of having to go through all of that, it must be worth a fair bit more than a regular skill.''

 _Take a short break, idiot! Nobody likes to read a whole lap of text!_ [We are there for the rescue.] {Now let's continue!}

''There are many examples in old stories that give chanting much more meaning. There are examples of these in songs taming beasts as well as strengthening friendships or damaging enemies.''

''Meaning it can distract mobs, damage them, give buffs or debuffs and many more options,'' Argo said.

''Precisely,'' Heathcliff nodded.

He moved to continue, but Deadpool slouched back in his chair and mumbled with reason, ''Not that it matters anyway.''

Both interlocutors stared in question at Deadpool, yet Heathcliff was a second quicker to act and asked the Merc, ''What makes you say that?''

Laying his feet on another chair, he answered, ''Give it a quick thought. The only players that are currently experiencing this world to its fullest potential are we front liners, and all we care about is leaving this world. What is the point of a skill that doesn't help at all in accomplishing that goal?''

Argo wondered what the Merc in Red was up to, especially since it was him that had requested Yuna take the skill. That curiosity turned to shock when he stated, ''If you ask me, Kayaba waisted a lot of potential here.''

Heathcliff's eyes shone in silent fascination and with a simple motion, he materialized a bag of Col. ''Can you explain those thoughts?'' _Paying for someone's opinion? Why would you do that?_ Argo thought before deciding to play the observing party in this curious event.

Deadpool sat up on his chair. ''Not a problem. Are you familiar with dwarves, Heathcliff?''

''Dwarves? Yes, I have seen them in a few stories.'' Heathcliff said, leaving out the fact that there was a Dwarf campaign in the world of Sword Art Online.

''Good. Then you are aware Dwarves are known for creating superior equipment and such. This makes them stronger and with such activities, they train their body. The same counts for a crafter, or a dancer. Why would Aincrad be any different?''

''I see. You mean to say players should earn experience by training non-combat related skills and level up without actually risking their lives. But what determines what they earn?'' Heathcliff asked as he was quick to see the core.

 _Hook, line and sinker!_ Deadpool thought as he answered, ''There are many ways to do so. You can let it depend on the level of the item, on the number of items, the quality of the items used or even achievements.''

Heathcliff was, unlike at the start of the conversation, completely intrigued by the idea and asked, ''But why think about such things? Only Kayaba can change the game. What makes you think he would even consider these ideas?''

Deadpool smiled and said, ''Because Kayaba isn't enjoying the current world himself right now.'' Noticing the questionable gaze from Heathcliff and Argo, and knowing he had to continue, he explained, ''According to the speech Kayaba gave at the beginning, [That we had listened to thoroughly.] {And not have read while laying in bed...} he wanted a world to live and interact with. In other words, a world that was realistic.

[Pause.]{And continue!} ''I think the whole idea of trapping us players was to make this world more realistic. But a world where only around 600 players are active is hardly a world to live and interact with. And apart from our lovely dark elf companion, interacting with only NPCs is probably just plain boring. So, Kayaba wants more players to play and live in his world, to make use of it to its fullest potential.''

Not believing someone could read him so well, Heathcliff attempted to save his internal coolness and cleared his throat. ''Sounds like a plausible hypothesis. But although it sounds like an idea Kayaba wants to add, how are you going to announce this news to him?''

This time Argo stepped in. ''I don't think there really is a need, given how mister troll here was the main reason for an enormous battle that definitely should not have gotten 10000 Forest elf killed and a five-level jump. If Kayaba is watching this world, DP is certainly in his view.''

That moment, Deadpool received another notification. Instantly catching on that this was yet again a new item received from an unknown force, he materialized the item. ''So, the only thing I have to do is show everyone this amazing book and the rest will follow.''

''What is that?'' Heathcliff glanced at the book in front of him, much larger than any manual Argo has brought out.

 _Yeah OP. What is this?_ [He just adds things without explaining things.] {Communication!}.

Deciding to trust in OP {Like hell!} Deadpool shifted his attention to Heathcliff and answered, ''A book. If you want to know more, you can rent it.''

As Heathcliff was reading the title, he apparently saw something interesting as he asked, ''Is 1200 col enough?''

''Yeah, but I want it back.''

And so, the first preparations were made to make Aincrad a bit more 'exciting.'

* * *

Argo was doing her familiar routine of information gathering. Yuna had decided to invest her time into training her Chant skill, first only for her own ears to hear. Kirito and Asuna had decided to finish the - Stachyson quest - and since Deadpool had no reason to do any of these things, he decided to travel throughout the world and see what he could encounter on a simple day.

''Those two are just dating. Sometimes, you just got to let them go and let them do their thing.'' Deadpool spoke to himself. ''Although it is a bit rude of them not to take Yuna and Argo with them.'' [That will happen eventually.] {We will make sure of that!}

Traveling through the first floor, because that is where most of the players were, Deadpool sat against a wall in the plaza and had just started to inspect the players that were passing by.

''Not sure what you're doing, but I'll go along with it. It's difficult to write something about floors when you only know minor things about it. So, for Beyor, I will ask; anyone got some nice ideas for floors they want to see? Otherwise, I will take some from the other story.'' Deadpool asked the air in front of him. ''Of course, I can also take the floors from Integral Factor.'' [Are they canon?] {Doesn't matter.}

At that moment, a new pop-up appeared in the Merc's HUD with another manual. ''Stop making me read stuff, please. It's so exhaustive!''

Despite that, Deadpool opened the book, let the sudden wind do its work and ended on the chapter -Characters -.

''Oh, so you want me to recruit other players.'' [Who did you have in mind?]

In the character chapter was a subchapter with 'Important Characters' including the likes of Kirito, Asuna, Argo, Yuna, and Heathcliff. And it was precisely this part that was highlighted.

''Yes, yes, I see it. You really have something going with that word quota, don't you? Anyway, let's see what this book can tell me about all the important people that we will be meeting.''

 _Aincrad's best blacksmith: Brown-haired girl until…. baby doll face… secret crush on Kirito…_ [Who doesn't?] _first meeting on the 56th floor._

Next up: _Dragon Tamer and…_ {Don't worry, you can say what everyone is thinking} _…loli_ [Very good] {It is important to be true to yourself!}. _First meeting on the 52nd floor. Dagger user. Adorable._

Thirdly: _Dark blue-haired member of the…_ {Blahblahblah}. _First official crush of Kirito. Dies on the 27th floor… becomes the reason for Kirito's unbelievable level as well as his untrue emo image…_ [We are not judging.] {He will always be Jesus-kun!}

Fourthly: {Seriously, how many people do you want to add in this game?} _White-haired girl. Was a normal player… death of friends… saved by… looked up to… Girls Ops._ [Didn't read] {small meme.}

Shifting his attention to the air once again, Deadpool asked, ''How are you guys able to keep up with this shit? I mean, even OP is having trouble following this and he's the one writing it.''

Turning his gaze back to the book, he continued to read the pile of information that would serve as a base for the future chapters to come. '' If the readers want it as well. No point adding characters that people don't want to read about.''

 _Well, fifth character: young girl…. black hair…. memory loss… not even human… Wait, they get a daughter? He's not growing any grass over it, is he?_

 _Anyway, up to the next one. Oh, another note. - Characters are optional if all three parties allow them to shine. - What's that supposed to mean? Let's see who these characters are. Try to keep up:_

- _Black-haired/blue-haired girl, childhood tragedy, cute, unsure of herself._

 _\- Blond/black hair, favorite hiding place for any men or pixie Yui. I mean, she is an AI of culture._

 _\- Orange-haired girl, complicated shit, new playground, treasures._

 _\- Black-hair, very unknown, who the fuck is she? Oh, OP still doesn't know completely. Read Integral Factor, you idiot!_

 _\- Blond haired... wait, did you say boy? Wait, wait, wait, that can't be right…. no, it says boy. [Okay] {We are not judgy!}._

 _\- Blond-haired girl. Why does it say there are two options? I haven't seen the third season yet, baka! [See what we did there?]_

 _How many more do I need to read? These really are a lot of characters to read. I thought this story was about me!_

It was at that moment a gentle wind passed Deadpool, almost as if an invisible hand patted his head.

 _Well, thank you. but you forgot no homo._ Shifting his attention to the book again, he noticed two new words appearing, followed by an orange-lining. _Okay, you got me there._

\- _Red-haired girl, hated or just misunderstood? Spear, you are going to like her. [Curious.]_

 _\- Red/grey haired girl, unique skill, OP as hell, like it._

 _\- Purple/white-haired girl, adorable, strange, straightforward. Two-handed sword._

''Okay, okay, that is enough for now. We can't spoil everything.'' Deadpool winked before teleporting to a roof of a house and watching the sunset from that height. There, he looked at it with a meaningful softness in his eyes, before copying an anime stance of an important scene and murmuring, ''You have a lot of plans, OP, but I want things as well. Tell me where to find that meme bastard, and the plans you have here will become a reality.''

Almost immediately, a pop-up appeared again, this time with a change in objectives.

\- Clear the hundredth floor of Aincrad, 6/100

\- Save as many players as you can, 978.

\- Find a recipe for chimichangas.

\- Kirito harem 0/? – [?] {Holy shit, what are you planning?}

\- Find and befriend/capture POH.

''It seems we understand each other. And since we are looking majestic here anyway, let's focus on the reviews.

1\. 'General Wookie'. [Good enough?] {You are now part of the story!}.

2\. Oh yeah, Aincrad Geographic Episode 2. I promised that, right? This chapter might take longer, but a promise is a promise.

3\. Well, that has yet to be seen. I am not adding planes [Maybe dragons] but no planes to this world. First, we make Aincrad great again! And good question. OP, is Cable to appear in this story? Oh, you are not going to tell. I guess that's a surprise.''

Standing up from the roof, Deadpool nodded once before running forward, yet again parkouring through the Town of Beginnings into the sunset.

* * *

 _05-01-2023, 13:41, Acta, village of the sixth floor._

A total of 67 players had shown up at the floor boss meeting, thus far a record number of participants for any battle whatsoever. The reason for this meeting was a logical one, the acknowledged information from the elf campaign about the boss a disturbing rumor.

''So, unlike previous battles, this boss will know how to tackle multiple players head-on.'' Diavel began. ''And according to the forest elf campaign, it is smart enough not to be distracted by taunts from our tanks.''

''Which can be troublesome, considering that was what had us pulled through in previous battle.'' Lind jumped in.

''Which means, we will need a distraction crazy enough not even a smart boss can ignore it,'' Agil stated for the four-man squad. ''Who could we possibly ask to take on such a role?''

Suddenly, strange music with a good beat filled the air, followed by the sudden teleportation of everyone's favorite Merc.

''Now this looks like a job for me,

So, everybody just follow me,

'Cause we need a little controversy,

'Cause it feels so empty without me.

I said, this looks like a job for me,

So everybody just follow me,

'Cause we need a little controversy,

'Cause it feels so empty without me.''

When the music had ended, many players wondered why they had raised their hands or had taken these strange positions like they were part of a rap band. While Kibaou stood back from his crouched rap position with a hidden blush, Diavel said, ''Glad you could make it, Deadpool-san. Thank you for volunteering for this heavy task. We are counting on you!''

While Kirito, Argo, Yuna, and Asuna had another 'For once, be normal DP.' moment, Deadpool affirmed, ''Of course and I have just the plan. I have my conditions though.''

''If nobody dies and we beat the boss, the conditions are accepted.'' Lind instantly answered, not wanting to waste another time on this pointless meeting.

''Perfect!'' Deadpool smiled, a few players feeling a shiver crawling down their spines.

* * *

''Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to the second chapter of everyone's favorite program: Aincrad Geographic. I am your host Deadpool and today we'll be taking a closer look at the visitors and obstacles of this breathtaking world.''

Teleports away onto the boss's head - Phezzona the Vegetarian King- while the raiding group attacks.*

''Ah yes, our first subject of the day will be the creature lying very close to us, or to be more precise, who is right beneath us.'' Dodging a whip from the giant boss, the house-sized plant decided to focus one after another root at the annoying player standing on its body. ''With Razorblade teeth and iron-hard roots, this giant abomination is a real threat to any adventurer that doesn't have any pesticide with him.''

Teleports from head to one of the roots.*

''That brings us to the next subject. Jim [the reader], do you know where it is?'' **What are they supposed to do?** ''Jim, Jim, get it together! You are sloppy. Focus on the blue-haired copy.'' Deadpool commanded with passion, his words about the vice-leader Lind. ''Ah yes. Hold that camera steady. Our next subject is what they call 'a perfectionist without perfection.' This creature has copied the hair- and fighting style of his version of the perfect beta player and is striving for that perfection. Only time can tell if this creature can complete his quest, as this is not such an easy task.''

Teleports to next root, dodging two whips in the progress.*

''Only three subjects left, ladies and gentlemen. The main event is the last two subjects of the day, but first, let us focus on this next subject, that does not belong to this category. Jim, focus on the ugly one!''

''Who are you calling ugly, you bastard!'' the spiked player shouted, before another two players held a hand over his mouth to stop one of the conditions from being broken.

''Sorry for the interruption. This subject is known to have a short temper.'' Kibaou had to hold himself back from throwing another retort but mustered the will to keep himself silent. While dodging more and more roots from the plant, Deadpool continued with, ''Although mistrusted in the past, the creature has developed an unusual pattern in its slow reach for perfection. Although it still has a very, very, long way to go, this abominate subject is slowly rising from his deepest depths.''

Kibaou didn't know what that meant, but it sounded good. And thus, he let the remark go. Dodging another root from above, Deadpool mimicked a familiar certain movement from the fourth floor, teleporting just in front of Phezonna's mouth, shouted ''Kobe!'' and threw the lit torch straight in.

While the boss caught fire and began to fill the room with intense heat, Deadpool continued, ''And now for the main subjects. Jim, focus man! We have still so many things to capture! Hold that camera steady and aim there!'' This time, the end of Deadpool's hand pointed at the Rat, who was, because of her level, fighting alongside as well.

''Ah yes, the fourth subject of the day. Known as Rattus Argo or in English, 'Argo the Rat'. This creature is just as one of our formers subjects that belong to the beta species - a race filled with strength and wisdom, yet also with cowardly and idiotic members.''

Diavel felt that the part about Lind and this latest part was aimed at him, but being thankful he was still alive, he let the comment slide and focused on his role as leader of the ALA. Not to mention, if he didn't pay attention enough, some of the players would probably get hurt by the fires.

''This particular member is a vital member of this race and with her knowledge, wisdom, courage, boldness and outstanding looks, she is one of the pillars this world stands on.''

Argo was afraid for an embarrassing introduction but to her pleasant surprise, it was quite the opposite. Beaming from the compliments, she charged the boss head-on, accompanied with a stunning grin. Unnoticed by everyone, Kirito stared at her as if he saw her in a different light.

''And now for our last subject of the day. A little zoom-in on the target, Jim. Ah, perfect!'' Deadpool said enthusiastically, his 'camera' aimed at Yuna. ''This subject is one of the newest additions to what the visitors of this world call the 'front line', and she arrives in spectacular fashion. Jim, stop focusing on her assets and bring her face into view.'' Deadpool commanded, Yuna lightly blushing as she fought side by side with her party members. ''With dagger, flute, beautiful voice and just as stunning looks, she is the dream of every lonely man. However, it seems this creature has already found a mate it wants to continue further with.''

Although the heat from the fire certainly was influencing many in the floor room, the beet-red face of Yuna was a different cause. It was a clear sign she still remembered a certain bath scene and was now desperately trying to avoid eye contact with several questionably gazing players.

While Phezonna was going for a final all-out attack on Deadpool, the Merc in Red simply teleported away and concluded as tears appeared on the boss's body, ''And this is the end of today's episode. Until next time, here on Aincrad Geographic.'' And with a shattering-boss in the background, the raiding group stood triumphant, Deadpool raising his arms like a champion [Like Tony Stark in that first movie] {We need more explosions!}.

* * *

 **Author's notes:**

That was it for chapter 7. Deadpool, take it away.

''Thanks, OP. Your planning was as lousy as ever, but three months isn't as bad as it seems. [Or is two?] {Doesn't matter.}. Hope you lads have enjoyed this adventure. That was all. You wanted to add something, OP?''

Yes. As most have noticed, I have a lot of preparation in this chapter, mainly in characters. I wanted to use a poll for this, but I have no idea how to add such a thing. Until I have learned that aspect of the website, please let me know who you want to see in the story (Revolving the Sword Art Online franchise that is, Deadpool characters I will decide myself) in the reviews or PMs. Also, let me know what floor themes you want to see. Lastly, we will be skipping some floors from here on out.

''Really? Lazy bastard.''

 **Ignores Deadpool** * Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and see you in the next one!


	8. Chapter 8: Remember, no logic!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sword Art Online or Deadpool. Both are owned by the respective owners.

This chapter is beta-read by Fate-of-Wishes. Enjoy!

* * *

A lone blade slashed through a white-skinned individual, a single word echoing in the air - one used much too often in Aincrad - indicating the creature's demise. As another player sheathed her rapier with graceful ease, a dark-toned hand reached out to lift her from the ground.

''Thank you,'' Asuna smiled with gratitude, two lilac pupils answering those words with what one could call a warrior's kindness.

''Don't mention it. Thank you for assisting me in this hard task, my friends,'' Kizmel responded.

In front of the group of colorful individuals stood the ancient runes of a swampland - a deserted land once rich with the mixed civilizations that occupied them. Passing trees, that had taken the stone embodiments of those cultures beneath their roots, the full party ascended deeper into the wilderness of the...

''Boring! Shut your mouth for a second and listen up!'' Deadpool started. Kirito was deadpan and Argo and Kizmel shifted curious gazes to their partner. Yuna struggled to hide her more terrified expression, whilst Asuna, yet again, bore quite a cold one. ''As awesome as you can try to write that, it still sucks. So, how about we do a compilation of the best moments from the next few weeks.''

And thus, with the background music of 'Centuries' ringing through Deadpool's head, a montage of the best moments of Aincrad began to play.

The montage started with an army of invading Fallen meeting their end at the hands of the opposition. Deadpool was amid them, on the back of a giant boar, rampaging through the crowd of elf data. The next panel was a mini-performance by the brown-haired player, her voice warming the hearts of every party member. And although it was a whole-hearted moment to show her companions her gratitude, she couldn't help but hope that some of those words had influenced a certain player for the better.

The next moment continued into the beginnings of a fierce battle. A group of approximately 60 players charged, without a second to waste, into a battle against one of the ugliest bosses in all of Aincrad. Literal troll clashed with the figurative troll, Deadpool holding his own in the battle while the others ended the boss' miserable life.

Brief, honest smiles shone through short glimpses of a meeting between the black-haired boy and a red-haired pirate. Drawn short, as the next moment revealed what should have been a large battle. However, due to some unusual circumstances, were only six forest elves and their king against the party of six.

The next panel was yet again a battle. This time, a beautiful, large witch - with a pretty impressive figure - stood before the raid group. Spikes would take form and protrude with incredible speed from her skirt, piercing any player that came close. However, even this boss found herself burning red with embarrassment as one had managed to dodge said spikes - making his way underneath her skirt. None of the players had expected the girl to react in such a typical embarrassed-anime-girl manner, yet that was what had happened.

Naked skin glimmered in the next panel, another bath scene to be precise. This time, however, it had escalated a little due to some teasing from Argo. As multiple female hands covered their red-beet faces and shocked eyes, Kirito quickly made sure his lower body was no longer visible. Deadpool was still standing proudly and laughing, the blurred pixels of something not-so-small right in plain sight. Another panel showed the players marching to the final battle, an army of dark elves following them through the autumn-themed ambiance of the ninth floor. The next few panels that followed were quick, each one filled with fights.

''Hold up! We are not skipping this epic battle in the compilation,'' Deadpool declared, as he blocked the charge of two Fallen elves with two swords. ''Time to get in on the action!''

Stepping forward, Deadpool released his swords. While the two Fallen fell forward from momentum, the Merc grabbed both heads and slammed them against each other, knocking both elves out. A charge from another two Fallen was stopped by a black blade and a curved sword, Kirito slamming his fist against its opponents before calling for a switch. Deadpool responded by teleporting behind the elves, grabbing both heads and pounding them into the wall. [Why all the grabbing?]{OP has played a little too much Lu Bu!}.

Another group of Fallen elves charged at them, but at that moment a white flash pierced through the group. A barrage of attacks followed, a rapier, a dagger and a pair of claws, working splendidly together. ''Everybody alright?'' Asuna asked, quickly shifting her attention between the players, before focusing back on the many Fallen still around.

''We're okay. Let's continue this assault now that we still have the element of surprise.'' Kizmel suggested. Five heads nodded before they rushed forward.

A dozen white-skinned Fallen elves appeared, causing a large grin to spread over the Merc's face. With a single teleport, Deadpool now stood in the middle of them all, ready to wreak havoc once again. A backhand punch had the first Fallen taken by surprise, finally gaining the attention of the other elves. Without hesitation, Deadpool slammed his open wrist against a Fallen elf chin, before making a half turn to dodge a sword, landing an elbow right on the elf's abdomen. Another blade slashed towards, and narrowly missed, his left side as he grabbed the elf's wrist, delving out a low sweep and roundhouse kick, before breaking the elf's leg with a low side kick.

''One more? I've got just the thing for you,'' the Merc grinned, before stepping towards the Fallen elf with eager anticipation. The elf unleashed a sword skill, easily dodged by the Merc. Locking the weapon-wielding arm with his own, he held out his arm out before shouting, ''Ora, ora, ora, ora, ora, ora, ora, ora, ora, ora, ora, ora, ora, ora, ora!''

Beautiful autumn lights reflected on an orange-yellow ground, the sound of the pummeling the Fallen elf had taken echoing through the air. As the elf was held lifelessly in the air by an incessant barrage of punches, the Merc was interrupted when Kirito took his arm and said, ''DP. Stop, it's already dead. Let's continue.''

''Fine, fine. Let's finish this battle,'' Deadpool responded as the shattering of his former opponent echoed through the air. This time, the song 'Angel with a Shotgun' rang through Deadpool's head as he engaged with more Fallen elves who were this time coming out of the side tunnels of their tasteless hideout.

One Fallen elf after another fell to the incredible teamwork of the six companions. A one-handed sword parried multiple times with iron, this switch serving as the opening for Asuna to shine with Chivalric Rapier. Kizmel blocked an attacker with her shield, Argo and Yuna dealing the finishing blows to their enemies. Deadpool was fighting solo, utilizing boxing skills that even Mike Tyson would be proud of.

Two body shots stunned a Fallen, before an uppercut sent it to the ground. Two Fallen appeared out of nowhere, only for Deadpool to spin a 180, summon two swords from his back and block the first one in front of him whilst piercing the second behind him. Both elves attempted to regain their composure, only to be kicked in the balls.

''Love that you've got a martial art history, OP. Really reflects well in these moments!'' Deadpool mentioned as he corner-punched another Fallen, his Martial Art leveling up accordingly. ''But enough with the hand-to-hand combat. It is Sword Art Online, not Fist Art Online.'' [Despite some people clearly not using a sword.] {Weapon Art Online?} ''No, that sounds horrible,'' Deadpool monologued.

''Deadpool. Could you focus back on the enemy? This battle is far from over,'' Kizmel stated.

''What do you think I'm doing? Do you think those idiots got knocked out by themselves over there?'' Deadpool snarked back, pointing at the dozen of elves that were still on the ground. That very moment, the dark elves appeared and finished off the knocked out Fallen. ''Damn, that was cold.''

''This is war. They did what was required. Now, for our advance,'' Kizmel started, looking to her friends. ''According to the dark elf scouts, the ruby key should be in the lowest part of this Fallen castle. We can expect heavy resistance in there. Not to mention, almost no doubt the Fallen commander as well.''

She continued in dead seriousness. ''Even with superior numbers, it requires everything to come out victorious against them.''

''This requires a plan with planning and pinpointing every detail. Perhaps we should let the main forces go first and strike from behind,'' Asuna suggested.

''That could be a good idea if we had a way to get behind them in the first place,'' Argo nodded. ''What do you think, Kii-bou, Yu-chan, DP?'' Argo then noticed a small change in the air. ''Hey, where is DP?''

The others looked hastily around them before Kirito voiced their inner thoughts. ''Oh, for fuck's sake!''

A bit further ahead, the red figure slammed yet another elf's head against the wall before dashing forward into a group of Fallen. Two swords in his hands and one in his mouth, he growled, ''Santoryu, Sanzen Sekai! [For translation: Three-sword style, Three-thousand Worlds] {For anyone that read both of those in Zoro's words, 10 points!}.

Eleven Fallen stood wide open, as if they had just been struck by three swords - before they realized that the swords had barely done any damage. As they shifted their aggro onto the Merc in red, they were too slow to recognize the substance on the floor, followed by Deadpool lighting it on fire.

''You probably wonder 'why did you go in on your own? Why did you say 'damn that was cold' when you're much worse? Why are you asking us all of this whilst those guys are being burnt alive?' Well, whatever you read about those guys and their irritation towards me up above, they showed me a compilation on how much they want me around.''

Deadpool leaning forward whispering, ''They don't know how ruthless I can be. I couldn't even use fires around them, and that was only me on mild. Can you believe that?! You burn one warehouse full of food stock and you're suddenly in the wrong,'' Deadpool complained, the skin of the Fallen behind him slowly burning away.

''We're level 26 and they still think we need to go slowly. I mean... come on!''

While Deadpool paced up and down the path, an almost painful whisper echoed in the air. ''Please...sa..save...us...'' one of the Fallen elves begged, his eyes burning from passion. I mean fire.

''This one you did on purpose. But that mistake about the ALS in the sixth group was an honest mistake. That nobody said he wrote ALA. People asked about Jim, but not about that mistype?! I am disappointed.'' Deadpool monologed again, the fire behind him burning out, taking the bodies of the demised with them. [Anyway, what happened to Jim?]{Working his ass off to keep up with us!}

''For all the ladies out there, sorry but in this story you are male. I think... hard to say with the guy.'' [Maybe he is genderless] {No, no, he is called Jim. Why would you call him Jim if he is not a boy?}. ''Cause OP needed an easy name and wasn't thinking to make it a real player.'' [Sloppy work.]

As his monologue continued, four players and an elf finally found the Merc in Red. ''Goddammit, DP. What the hell are you doing?'' Kirito started, the rise in his voice something new for his companions.

''Wrecked some Fallen. You know, you guys were taking so long, so I thought I would enjoy myself with some of these fellows. I have to say, they had quite the burning passion,'' Deadpool grinned.

Kirito sighed, ''Well, since we've come so far, we better keep going. You guys ready?''

''Yes. Lead the way.''

* * *

It was the end of a conflict, one as old as time. It was the end of the elf war, but for Kizmel, also the end of a collaboration she would greatly miss. She even had considered stopping her duty as a Pagoda Knight but knew her queen would never allow it. There was always a way to leave the kingdom of Lyusula without letting anyone know, but Kizmel was far too loyal to do that.

The only positive she had now was that she could see her friends one more time during the special celebrations for the victory. That would happen in three days at the palace. There, she had one last chance to convince the queen and her human friends to let her continue her adventure with them. Adventures full of action, friendship, beautiful sceneries, and above all else, adventure with a new family.

Hoping that such a thing could be possible, Kizmel made her way to the closest tailor and prepared herself for an evening that could change anything. Was it possible for her to chase the dream that brought hope and sunshine to her life? Or was it a dream chase in vain?

* * *

Eyes opened wide in shock. Not a single sound made. The famous red-blood sky held the same message as that first day. In joint horror and confoundment, the entire player database stood in the Town of Beginnings, staring at the repeating of events.

''Kii-bou, what is going on?'' Argo asked, clearly taken aback by the suddenly forced teleportation and the -System Message- written in the sky.

''I don't know. But I don't like it,'' Kirito whispered, standing next to his companions, terrified. Deadpool stood next to him, Yuna, Asuna, and Argo between the two men as if this were another battle against a boss.

''Wait, this wasn't in the manual? OP, what's going on?!'' Deadpool shouted, instantly summoning his manual for dummies. As he confirmed that this event was not an event that had happened in the original storyline, he decided to wait for what could possibly be coming.

''Kirito, DP! Good to see you both well!'' a voice shouted before he and his friends dashed towards Kirito's party. ''What is going on?''

''No idea buddy,'' Deadpool said with extreme seriousness. ''But I guess the only thing we can do is watch and see what this is all about.''

Deadpool wasn't expecting someone else to appear at their side, but an unexpected voice suddenly echoed through the air. ''Deadpool, Argo-san!''

Switching his attention to his side, he spotted a bewildered grey-ponytailed player running their way. ''Glad to see you're alright. Do you guys know what's going on?'' _I've got to admit; he could be an actor._ [Actor, billionaire, genius, sociopath] {I get Tony vibes.} _Perhaps not the last one._

''I hoped you knew what was going on,'' Argo responded before turning back to the sky. ''What is Kayaba up to now?''

As a red liquid seeped through the ceiling cracks, Heathcliff answered, ''We are about to find out.'' The entire plaza went silent as the same figure that had haunted their nightmares appeared before them yet again. With a simple lift of his hands, the figure of Kayaba began to speak.

 **''Welcome back, players. You probably all wonder what you are doing here, back in the plaza where it all started,''** Kayaba started, his voice calm despite the thousands of glares of paralyzing anger.

 **''As you all may have noticed, a large portion of the players haven't used the game and took the opportunities I have given you that many would only dream off.'** ' Kayaba's voice was soft. Many of said players suddenly shivered in both anger and fear.

 **''But that will change, starting from today. Today, I will implement changes in the world of Sword Art Online. And they are as followed,'** ' the large figure announced before a new pop-up appeared in everyone's HUD.

' **'There will be four new changes. Firstly, all training of your skills will now give you experience. This means you can become stronger without needing to leave the borders of the safe zones.''** The message was not as bad as it seemed for the players in the plaza.

' **'However, if time-framed conditions are not met within set time, you will be deleted from this world – no exceptions,''** Kayaba added, unspoken anger slowly building in that unearthly voice.

He moved to continue yet was slightly taken aback when a player appeared before him, two swords prepared to pierce straight through the red cloak. ''Now, let's see what's under that cloak!'' Deadpool shouted, the swords just striking the cloak before he was sent back by an immortal pop-up and Crime Prevention Code.

Kayaba's right hand lowered as he continued, **''Lastly, due to some unusual events, some further changes were made. And since this too was an idea from the gentleman over there, I shall give you all an opportunity to present to me your creativity. In your submenu, there will be a way to insert ideas into the Suggesting List. Be warned though: misuse or non-serious ideas will result in immediate erasure. Now, this is the last time you will see me. Future updates will be done without any warning. This is the end of the Sword Art Online first update. Good luck, players.''**

With those words, the figure vanished into oblivion, together with the red-blood sky and the barriers that had blocked the players from escaping the plaza. Scratching the back of his head in annoyance, Deadpool stood up from his crash landing and shifted his eyes to the sky. ''You goddamn prick! Next time we meet, I'll jab a sword up that virtual ass of yours!'' [Time for us to be the actor!] {We got a plan?} _Yes. Improvise!_

Many faces turned to the shouting red-clothed-player. Deadpool, knowing that he had the attention of the general public, looked to the sky. ''Think you are so safe up there, high and mighty? I will personally come to drag you down, so you better watch out!'' Deadpool thundered confidently. The effect was almost instant as many players rose to their feet and stared at the Merc with amazement. Kirito, Argo, Asuna, and Yuna stood beside the Merc, Kirito joining him with, ''No, we will drag him down together.''

* * *

Perhaps it wasn't the best decision. Perhaps he had made a mistake in the long run for his long-awaited world and the system supposed to run it. However, Kayaba couldn't care less as he watched in the plaza with silent and hidden amazement. The loud call for war against him, thousands upon thousands of players in motion as a few players in the foreground lead the way. Several other players began their journey through the safe zones and, perhaps, the wilderness of his castle.

Retreating to a nearby inn, he locked the door using his administration rights and opened the book that the Merc had given him. How exactly, Kayaba did not know, but somehow, that man had a manual in his possession with every bit of detail about the game and its items – together with how much experience one should earn when said item was crafted or forged. The part with the campaign quests was quite thrilling as well, each part including how to add them into the game without breaking the reality of the story.

The reason this could be a mistake was a few important details. Although Cardinal had the ability to adapt, Kayaba knew that it would require a lot of data and could easily go wrong. The many test runs, and the necessity of the Hollow Area, were clear signs of that. Even now, he required the help of everything the game had to give, including reactivating MCPH001 and MCPH002 to a certain extent.

Nevertheless, he felt excited. Excited for what the future of his plan, the future of his story and, above all else, the future of his dream had in store for him.

* * *

His entrusted blade in hand, Cloak of Darkness equipped, a susceptible opponent in front of him and his companions by his side, that was the moment Kirito felt the most comfortable. If you took his latest position into account, anyone could understand why the black-haired boy was nervously pacing in the male dressing room of the palace, his usual attire forgone for sublime black and white.

''Easy, buddy. You look fine as hell,'' Deadpool grinned, laying across the furniture featured in the not-very-modest interior of the room.

''You do understand that I'll beat your ass if you are lying,'' Kirito barked nervously, before trying to shake his nerves away. ''I was okay with a celebration party. Why did Kayaba have to change it to a wedding?''

''No point in guessing now. That guy is more unpredictable than me!''

Kirito raised an eyebrow. ''You're a close runner-up. Anyway, let's get this over and done with.'' _Oh, if you only knew._

Before Kirito could open the door to the party room, to what he considered hell, he was stopped. ''Hold up, pretty boy. You are clearly not understanding things.''

Shifting his attention to Deadpool, Kirito raised another eyebrow, prompting the Merc to continue.

''You see, with an event like this, you must dress up accordingly – with crazy decent stuff. I see a party with a lot of food, a full group of NPC's you can mess around with and countless beautiful ladies in dresses. Trust me, after this, you'll be a man of culture.''

Rolling his eyes, Kirito opened the door and entered the large ballroom that served as the location for the wedding, and afterparty, between the Dark Elf Queen and the Forest Elf King. The room was filled with dozens of dark, and a few forest, elves; Kirito's shoulders relaxed as he noticed how all of the cursors were green. However, when he noticed the elves all in formal wear that were levels above his {In his head}, his shoulders tensed again. [Why did you have to do that?]{Because Jesus-kun's looks are the bomb! Just wanted to note that}.

''Fuck this shit, I am out,'' the boy suddenly muttered, only to be stopped by his companion in a red suit.

''Nope. As much as I love the memes you have been throwing around these past few days, I can't allow you to leave. Just trust me – this shit is going to be amazing,'' Deadpool begged with puppy eyes.

Hating himself for having a weak spot for his oldest and craziest companion, Kirito finally gave in as he sighed, ''Fine, I trust you. Now, where are the others?''

A soft voice answered that question, ''Are you looking for us?''

''Well, took you guys long enough. DP was a rea...'' the boy wanted to continue his sentence as he turned around, yet not a single sound could come out of his suddenly very dry throat. An unearthly beauty stood with a lack of confidence in front of the group, her usual armor exchanged for a purple, well-fitting, long dress, her gratuitous smile accompanied by a small, beautiful flower in her lilac hair.

Beside Kizmel stood another beauty, yet her usual attire of a coat and simple jumpsuit was replaced by a mellow-yellow dress, her typical wild hairstyle neatly combed to the side. Her usual whiskers were nowhere to be found and the girl that was usually hidden behind them stared with a healthy blush and smile at her male companions. [Why are we not interrupting this?]{This is culture, my friend!}

On the other side of Kizmel stood a player more used to these parties. Moving with studied perfection, her slender figure and beautiful curves were perfectly accentuated by the beautiful dark blue dress she was wearing. Blue? [I was expecting red and white.]{Something about bride colors!} With a system generated hair-bun, her gentle smile greeted the two gentlemen.

Next to Argo was the last of the four beauties, her light-blue dress fitting almost strangely perfectly with her brown eyes and nervous smile. Kirito could not get a single word out, the girls staring back with a confused expression and a bit of impatience at their black-haired companion. Deadpool had no problem breaking that silence though, as he piped up, ''You know what they say; Words are silver, silence is gold.''

''Wasn't that supposed to be involving food?'' Argo asked.

''Perhaps, but a bigger compliment than that you are not going to get,'' Deadpool answered as he pointed at his companions' still bewildered companion. ''I think he doesn't mind eating you right now.'' Red as a traffic light. That were the faces of the three girls and Kirito, who were about to punch his companion despite the pompous ambiance.

The wedding itself was not spectacular in the slightest, the marriage a political one instead of one of true love. Having been married more times than a finger could count, _Prick_ , Deadpool decided to keep himself at ease for the afterparty. However, when that party broke out, the music did not allow him, or his companions, that.

''As much as I like our culture, our music could definitely use a human touch,'' Kizmel noted, standing with her companions at a standing table.

Deadpool didn't need another cue as he teleported to the elf concert, activated his in-built microphone, mimicked as if he was holding a mic and whispered for the band to shut up for a second. After they did as instructed, he began. Without turning around, Deadpool mimicked a conductor to lead the piano-ish guy and began. (Something Just Like This. Nightcore duet Version).

"I've been reading books of old  
The legends and the myths  
Achilles and his gold  
Hercules and his gifts  
Spiderman's control  
And Batman with his fists  
And clearly, I don't see myself upon that list.''

Deadpool took a short pause at that moment, noticing how every NPC and player had taken a liking to his mimicked voice. He set his gaze on Yuna, pointed at her and said, ''But she said..''

As if something had taken over her, Yuna's chant activated. As if perfectly practiced, both players sang,

''Where'd you wanna go?  
How much you wanna risk?  
I'm not looking for somebody  
With some superhuman gifts  
Some superhero  
Some fairytale bliss  
Just something I can turn to  
Somebody I can kiss

"I want something just like this  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo  
Oh, I want something just like this  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo.''

That moment, Deadpool's conductor's hand shot up, focused on the piano-ish and the guitar-like elf guy and decided to take it up a notch.

''Oh, I want something just like this

I want something just like this.''

This time, Deadpool lowered his hand and shifted it back to the piano elf, giving Yuna a clear cue, that it was time for her solo. As Yuna prepared herself for the next couplet, Deadpool could see the elves, Kizmel and his friends getting into the groove. At the same time, Kirito watched the brown-haired songstress with an intrigued gaze.

''I've been reading books of old,

The legends and the myths,  
The testaments they told,  
The moon and its eclipse,  
And Superman unrolls,  
A suit before he lifts,  
But I'm not the kind of person that it fits.''

Yuna's gaze shifted from the crowd to Deadpool, although she had someone else in her mind, pointed at him and said,

''But he said,'' and together they continued.

''Where'd you wanna go?  
How much you wanna risk?  
I'm not looking for somebody  
With some superhuman gifts.  
Some superhero,  
Some fairytale bliss,  
Just something I can turn to,  
Somebody I can miss.

"I want something just like this  
I want something just like this

"I want something just like this  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo  
Oh, I want something just like this  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo  
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo

"Where'd you wanna go?  
How much you wanna risk?  
I'm not looking for somebody  
With some superhuman gifts  
Some superhero  
Some fairytale bliss  
Just something I can turn to  
Somebody I can kiss  
I want something just like this

"Oh, I want something just like this  
Oh, I want something just like this  
Oh, I want something just like this.''

When the music finally stopped, Yuna's smile enlightened the already ecstatic forest and dark elves, Kizmel starting the shouts for an encore. As she had noticed how both bride and groom had enjoyed the change in music, she dared to do as such.

An evening that did not have the best start, suddenly became a party to remember. For both elf sides, as well as Cardinal, a new inspiration for music was found. For Kizmel, it was deemed a worthy end – if this was indeed the end of her adventure with her friends. For Asuna, Argo, and Yuna, a moment in which they could truly live in the virtual world. For Kirito, a lesson and growth as a man. But only one knew that this evening was far from over.

As the true celebration began, as well as the homage of the players and Kizmel, the queen finally asked the question.

''Human warriors. No. Heroes of the kingdom of Lyusula. You have assisted us greatly in beating the Fallen and ending this war. If it wasn't for your assistance, we would have probably all been killed by the mischievous plots of the Fallen. If there is anything you desire that my name allows, please, name it.'' At that moment, the cursor of the queen switched from a standard green to a quest.

Deadpool grinned, stood up from his spot politely, as he temporarily needed to be for his plan to succeed, and spoke up, ''Actually, there is something, your highness.''

Seeing that he could continue, his friends staring at him confound, he advanced, ''I have two requests. While there are two, I need only one to be satisfied.'' [You copied this from progressive.]{Novel four to be precise!}.

''Very well. Word your request,'' the queen ordered with delicacy.

''Join us in our quest for the liberation of the castle of Aincrad.''

* * *

Large data was maneuvered through the database of Cardinal, entwined into complicated links. However, the result of the latest update had the system overloaded with tasks. That, as unlikely and miraculously as it sounded, created a tear in the system crossing dimensions of time and space. The effect. Dozens of interdimensional gaps appearing all over Aincrad.

In the simple town of Tolbana stood a young girl, her long purple hair dancing with the wind as her childish face stared questioningly around her. In the city of Urbus, a rupture in the sky appeared before another person fell out, harshly tumbling onto a roof before bouncing and landing flat on the ground. Standing up, her long blond hair fell graciously onto her golden armor, warrior eyes scanning the area intensely.

The third floor was the host of yet another foreign visitor. Green robe and blond hair paired with a disgusting face and two tiny, bewildered eyes, he glanced around him, a sinister smile rising. Before anything else could happen though, a flash beamed behind him, and mere seconds later two figures stood at the edge of Aincrad.

''What is going on? Who are you?'' The shocked player, once known as the fairy king, asked the man standing before him, his feet on the rail of Aincrad.

''No need to know my name. Just jump already. You are not needed in this world.'' Deadpool asserted, easy going as he flapped his fingers, indicating his target had to hurry. ''Come on, I don't have all day.''

''Are you stupid? Do you know who you have before you? I am the great Fairy King Oberon! How dare you speak to me in such a tone! The nerves of a commoner such as yourself. I am a god!''

As the monologuing player kept going, bragging to himself further than the skies, Deadpool shifted his attention to the side and asked, ''Can you get this over with? We are going to miss the rest of the introductions! I wish I could kick him myself.''

Oberon broke out of his self-adoration and spoke mockingly, laughing, ''Kick me? Ask me to jump from Aincrad's border?! What are you? An idiot? This is madness.''

Understanding the underlying message, Deadpool stared at the fairy king with a questioning gaze. ''Madness?'' Looking into his mind, he saw Jim nodding once on his unspoken question and shouted. ''This is Deadpool!'' before his kick sent Oberon flying off Aincrad's border.

As the former villain of SAO shattered into oblivion, Deadpool shifted his attention to the main road and said, ''Puny god.'' [Unfortunately, we are not green]{Or 9 feet tall!} ''But it's the thought that counts. Now, let's continue with the gaps.''

Unfortunately for Deadpool, the distraction had taken too much time, resulting in the gaps being closed and the visitors already leaving their landed areas. ''For fuck's sake! Even in only 100 words, that asshole is a complete waste of time.''

As Deadpool walked back to the main settlement of the tenth floor, mumbling something about the okonomiyaki and foreign ingredients of the floating castle, Aincrad was set for a whole new adventure.

* * *

 **Author's note:**

So that was chapter 8.

Only two months since my last update. Considering the beta reading had taken half a month, I see that as an improvement. I really have not much else to say. Let me know what you thought about it the chapter and if you have any ideas. Reviews are always greatly appreciated.

Anyway, hope you have enjoyed this chapter and see you legends in the next one. Beyor out!

''And to sum this chapter up with another meme: Remember, no logic.''


	9. Chapter 9: Unlimited Waifu Works!

**Disclaimer:** I do not Sword Art Online or Deadpool. Both are owned by their respective owners.

''Don't forget about Fate!''

[Very important indeed.]

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the Fate franchise. The Fate franchise owned by its respective owners.

 **''Warning:** Chapter is not yet beta-read. Proceed at your own risk.''

* * *

Japanese culture. Cultivation as old as time itself, rich of wars, heroes, cultural independence, art, architecture, music, and upmost for all, cuisine. The tenth floor was a clear sign of the beauty of that culture, traditional Japanese houses inhabited by people wearing Yukata's/ Kimonos. Hair tight to a disciplined bun or tight knot, the NPCs walked graciously through the streets on traditional getas.

''You know people come for the wackiness of me, not for that attempt on beautiful writing, right?'' Deadpool commented, a half-hour after his first casual murder of the story. ''Anyway, we got a busy schedule, so you better stop goofing around and get shit going.''

Deadpool walked through the city of Nipa, his bored eye staring at the small details of the current floor. ''So many details and the game still lags as shit.'' [What got him so agitated?]{OP is annoyed!}.

Just as Deadpool was observing an NPC, a hard wind sent the man flying, a collision following before the NPC stood up again and walked it off as nothing had occurred. ''Amateur. I kicked a real player of Aincrad's border just now and you come with that weak stuff. Pathetic.''

Another wind picked up but vanished just as quickly when a voice echoed in the air. ''Dp, there you are. I thought we would celebrate the ninth floor boss victory together.'' Kirito commented.

''Of course we are. Had to take care of a little problem first.'' Deadpool responded, momentarily wondering how his oldest comrade of this wacky story would react on a murder.

''Oh? Anything I can help with?'' Kirito asked.

''Nah, don't worry about it. It was solved before it began to create a problem. Now, where is that cuisine Japan is so famous for?''

The duo of old walked back together, Kirito explaining Japan had many dishes it was famous for. Its most famous traditional dish was probably sushi and sashimi but others -including ramen, Oden, and tempura- had reached the international borders a long time ago as well.

''How awesome would it be to make something delicious in this game? Or to launch a sword skill, instantly switch to another weapon and completely switch tactics. Or to create your own weapons and use them all to the best of their abilities. So many possibilities in this game, and only so-limited skills to equip.'' Deadpool complained, still having to wait for three levels for his next skill.

''I agree but unless you can have another crazy idea Kayaba would enjoy, I think it would stay that way,'' Kirito replied, his eyes on the additional submenu of the latest update and the timer of the immediate death for anyone who had not gained experience for a full month. The remaining subjects to the tavern were airy or childish, neither participant really looking forward to anything complicated to talk about. Once started the large feast, the humble group of six was anything but silent.

''Deadpool-san, that is not how you use chopsticks! You take the pieces between the chopsticks, not skewer them on it.'' the songstress advised.

Ignoring Yuna's advice, Deadpool continued to use his chopsticks like daggers. Eating the rice like soup -nearly to the point of choking- he let out a content sigh before commenting, ''This way is much easier. You were right, pretty boy. This is some good stuff.''

Asuna ignored the merchant as she asked, ''Do any of you have an idea what to do when we are done here?''

''Actually,'' Deadpool started, clearly ignoring the ignoring, ''I heard some interesting rumors on my way back here. We should probably check them out.''

Argo instantly shot forward, her cup of ramen almost knocked over and asked, ''Rumors? What kinda rumors, DP?''

''Some vague shit regarding people falling from the sky or something like that,'' Deadpool answered nonchalantly. ''It sounds something that I did when I came into this world, so I wanted to investigate it.''

The other four eyes stared puzzled at the Merc with the Mouth. Before any of them could ask for him to continue, though, Deadpool's eyes shot open and said, ''Oh yeah, totally forgot about something. Pretty boy, Miss lovely rodent, here is the book I promised like a week ago.''

''Book?'' Kirito asked, not sure what the book was for. ''What promise again?''

''The bath one of course. How to make quality bath time a little better.'' Deadpool answered with a cheeky grin, that grin hiding more than they could imagine. Certainly, both Asuna and Yuna did not know what that grin hid as both their eyes sparkled at the idea of a bath even better than the previous ones.

Once done filling their hunger parameter, the party of five moved on to their next adventure. Starting at the first floor, Deadpool shook the sparkles of the teleporter side-effect of him and looked around. ''Now, where did that tear in dimension hole something appear again?'' [Wasn't that place called Tolbana?]{Seems we got some traveling to do!}.

''Dp, what did the rumor say about a location?'' Kirito asked one shaking the light of himself.

''If I have heard correctly, it happened near Tolbana.''

''Then let's get going!'' Argo voiced enthusiastically.

* * *

Unfamiliar buildings resembling an old town. An unfamiliar town in an unfamiliar world for the young girl that was strolling down the main avenue of Tolbana. Asking where she was to any stranger that she encountered didn't help to ease her worries one bit. On the contrary, hearing she had appeared in the death game Sword Art Online that had a hold on Japan's balls, gave Yuuki a very unsettling feeling she could only describe as anguish.

But in another sense, a hopeful feeling ran through her body. She couldn't really explain it, but something about the game of death that had Japan at his grasp really made her exciting. And since she was living her life without any regrets anyway, Aincrad wasn't anything different for her than her normal life.

Yuuki enjoyed the soft breeze of the cold wind touching her avatar, the same gentle feeling lifting her hair up elegantly and beautifully. The sunshine warmed her skin, which was extremely brown in comparison to the pale-white it used to be in the hospital bed. It gave her almost the feeling she was not walking in her own virtual body, yet it wasn't an unpleasant feeling in the slightest.

Moving through the village with mixed feelings of astounding and anguish, Yuuki spectated other players on the small plaza, including the once that passed her without paying any attention to her whatsoever. She was sure that was because of the way she was dressed, no particular armor on her chest or weapon at her side. Yet, the expressions on their visages all looked troubling, as if they were struggling in daily life, seemed to surprise her the most. Weren't they supposed to be safe in the safe zone? And why was there a timer in the corner of her screen? All questions that still needed an answer.

Before she could ask anyone about those though, a male voice could be heard above the crowd, easily picked out from all the others. ''I'll tell you, this is another great idea. I call it 'Deadpool's terrific idea number 2!''

Another voice more feminine replied to that sentence with, ''Could you please not. Next thing we know, we have another timer to be scared for!''

''It is a 30-day timer. How lazy does anyone want to be?!'' The male voice responded again.

''That is not the point!'' Another female voice shouted annoyed, Yuuki finally catching a glimpse of the party of six.

A player in a red-black suit, dressed like some kind of hero. A black-clothed boy, black hair fitting his gear extremely well. A chestnut-brown girl, her rapier dangling on her left hip. Her elegant long hair wasn't the only thing noticeable, as the girl was in every aspect dazzling. She also understood from the expression she was the one who had reacted lastly, given how the girl was glaring the player in red to death.

The one to the fencer's left was just as beautiful, the white cape and brown long hair fitting rather well together. Yuuki noticed a Dagger, yet thought she could see the glimpse of a flute as well. A hooded short player was walking alongside her again, Yuuki guessing she was a girl. However, it was hard to tell with the drawn whiskers and coverage from the brown cape and hood. Lastly, the last member of their group walked tall alongside them, her NPC cursor and pointy ears an immediate detail she could not miss.

Despite the town being full of traveling players, the vociferous group stood out from the crowd by a longshot. First and foremost, their expressions did not have that same kind of emotion like the other players had. Secondly, although Yuuki did not understand much of the world she was in, she could definitely see the difference in gear, meaning these players knew the world a lot better than any of the players she had encountered thus far. Lastly, there was a sort of gravity-feeling pulling her in, yet it was like the wind touching her gentle and warming. If there was someone she wanted to join in this world, it would be them.

With that decision made in her mind, she walked towards the group. Luckily for her -although it still surprised her why- the conversation that was currently spoken about gave the perfect way to connect to them. ''So Dp. How are we supposed to find this person that came falling from the sky? If that stuff is even true, to begin with..'' the black-haired player asked.

''It is,'' Yuuki responded without thinking, the group turning back curiously and confused. ''I am not sure why, but I think you guys are looking for me.''

Five gazes of confused looked at each other while Deadpool was just grinning from ear to ear. ''One down, many more to go!''

* * *

A large gray ceiling bigger than any city she remembered could be seen far up in the sky, strangely enough not blocking the sunlight she felt on her skin. Although that was strange enough as it was, the warmth of the sun did not feel the same as it used to do. Perhaps there was something wrong with her own sensation of feeling, or the goddess Solus had something in store for this world. This world, for she had quickly figured this was no longer her own world, how absurd that even sounded.

Through her knight's eyes, she noticed the various symbols appearing in her hindsight, some of the people she met circular while others had a diamond above their head. Some even had an exclamation mark above theirs, confusing the knight even more. And to her slight discontent, her eyes caught sight of several people staring at her armor. Since she wasn't used to walking freely in the capital in her time as an Integrity Knight, those stares at her golden armor had her slightly agitated.

If they continued those acts of rudeness any longer towards her, Alice would have warned them with her beloved sword. Yet, although she carried it with her through the sudden appeared dimensional crack, she no longer had in her position once she fell to the ground.

She had tried asking any of the people around her where she was, only for the rude response they wanted the armor in return for such a favor. Those acts of rudeness would have been punished by imprisonment or death sentence in her own world, for an Integrity knight's armor was a gift from the goddesses themselves. It was something only they were allowed to wear, those divine instruments the symbols for the protection their masters would give to its people.

Alice had given up on asking for help, for nothing good came out of it anyway. The people from this world were self-centered, and she wanted to get out of this town as quickly as possible. But without any weapon at her disposal, she wouldn't be able to stand her own in this unknown world.

She recognized a weapon shop, but once arrived at the bar, some unusual windows appeared in her vision. Pressing the buy button with a confused gaze, she noticed a one-handed sword in the store. However, it cost more than she currently had in her possession.

Alice wanted to call it quits when an unexpected voice rang through the air. ''Need any help there?''

Looking at her right, she noticed a red-haired pirate standing, his facial features not particularly charming. Yet, the smile on his face and the expression from his eyes told Alice he was at least trustworthy. Cautiously she asked, ''What do you want in return?''

The boy held a hand behind his head as he sheepishly answered, ''Would you believe me if I need nothing in return? A good friend of mine asked me to find a person that would have felt from the sky here on the second floor. As strange as it sounds, am I correct that is you?''

Alice turned curiously yet cautiously to the boy and said, ''It indeed sounds strange. Yet, that is the case here. My name is Alice Synthesis Thirty.''

''Klein. A pleasure to meet you. If you want, you can join me and I will explain more about this world until my friends return.'' Klein offered with an honest smile.

Alice's shoulders relaxed as she responded, ''That would be much appreciated.''

* * *

Sword Art Online. The death game that had Japan at his balls, and a person close at her heart trapped with his life on the line. That Suguha had entered the world itself now due to some strange real-life interactions, had the younger sister both terrified for her future as well as thrilled to see her older brother again.

Of course, she didn't know where she was when she magically teleported away from her dojo and appeared falling at least a hundred meters from the sky. Luckily, she had a healthy heart, for her entire body screamed in fear of her death. But when the immortal appeared on collision - as well as taking no damage whatsoever- Suguha knew she was no longer in her own world. After asking it to a player willing to answer -as well as trying to ignore the fact she was stared at by a lot of male players - she discovered she had entered the game herself, becoming player number two for House Kirigaya.

Her figure measurements were almost the same as it was in the real world. However, her hair strangely became long and blond. Together with a name that was not her own, Leafa became quite disguised of her original appearance. Only a few could pick her out of the crowd of many, and she believed only one could do it in this world. So with her brother on her mind, - as well as thinking so hard she believed she heard her brain crack - she went in search for the player named 'Kirito'.

What she wasn't expecting, was that the first player she had asked knew exactly who she was talking to. ''A player called Kirito you ask? Yeah, I know who he is. A black-clothed frontline-player partying together with the famous sir Deadpool, Argo the Rat, Asuna the fencer and Yuna the songstress. And there was something else but I forget what it was.'' The boy answered as he scratched the top of his head in the thought process.

''Do you know where I can find them?'' Leafa asked, a glimpse of hope in her eyes visible.

''Probably the tenth floor. They are front-line players after all, and the tenth floor is the front line.'' The guy answered dryly, his tone indicating he was talking to someone that had laid under a rock. ''Don't tell me you are going to join them as well. There are already so few girls and now you tell me they get another one added to their list. I am getting jealous of those two.'' Suguha ignored that comment as thanked the boy with a bright red color on her face, internally answering for herself that was not the case. She just wanted to see her beloved brother again after four months apart, that was all.

Quickly deducing from other players how the teleporter worked, she stepped in front of the shining statue and shouted, ''Teleport **(Shit, what was that city called again?)** [You fucked up, OP.]{And you went so well!} Nipa!''

Her sight returned to her after the blinding effect, and her eyes caught the beauty of the Japanese Culture in front of her. Yet, that beauty did not stay for long when a voice shouted, ''Watch out!'' coming from the teleport itself.

 _*Flop*_

A second later, Leafa found herself laying down on the ground, a body of similar height lying on top of her. Two-black pupils met with her own green eyes, a face all too familiar appearing a second later in her vision. And looking at the expression her brother was making, he had indeed recognized her immediately. ''Sug..suguha?''

Suguha wanted to express her happiness, was it not for his hand touching her chest in old-anime fashion. ''What are you doing, Oni-chan?!''

Recognizing his fault, Kirito quickly stood up from his spot while a red-color appeared on his face. ''Sorry.'' stretching his arm out to help out his younger sister, he asked, ''What are you doing here?''

''Would you believe me if I said it wasn't my choice to come here. One moment I am practicing Kendo, the next I am here.'' Before she could continue her explanation, the others of Kirito's group had appeared from behind, looking at the exchange with various emotions. To Suguha's shock/surprise, another girl had joined the party as well.

''Sate, sate, sate, what do we got here?'' Deadpool asked, only a second later noticing the godly curves on the one before him. _Holy shit, she is thick!_ [This must be his sister.]{Sweet home Alabama!}

While Argo was momentarily thinking about the Seven Deadly Sins - recognizing the reference almost immediately-, _So proud,_ Kirito coughed once and answered, ''I think I just found the one we have been looking for. Guys, this is my sister S...'' Stopping himself just in time, he shifted his attention to his sister and asked, ''What is your avatar name?''

''Leafa.''

''As I said, this is my sister Leafa. Leafa, these are my party members, Asuna, Argo, Yuna, Deadpool, Kizmel, and one of our newest members, Yuuki.''

''Nice to meet you,'' the girls and Leafa said in unison, laughter filling the air a moment later. It didn't take long for the girls to invite Leafa to a second party, the party of seven split in two parties of four and four. [For any who is too lazy to count.]{you're Welcome!}. _Very good OP. He almost wanted to write Your welcome. The humiliation._

''Well, I can make this awkward real quick with your sister here,'' Deadpool commented to Kirito as they both watched the girls talking about some girly stuff.

''I think we have long reached that point already,'' Kirito responded, not sure how to feel his younger sister/cousin was in the game, let alone talking to his female party members. With that on his mind, another question had appeared in his teener thought. _How did I end up with six girls in my party?_ _''_ Anyway, although I said sister, she is actually my cousin.''

''In that case, your cousin got some nice curves there.''

Kirito shifted his attention to the Merc with the Mouth, wearing a typical 'Are you kidding me right now..'' expression on his face. It took a message to get him distracted from taking the role of overprotective brother. Ignoring Deadpool's early comment, he said, ''Seems Klein found the player on the second floor. They are on their way to the tenth. How many do we still need to find?''

''How am I supposed to know? Some jerk decided to mess things up. That we even found her is a surprise in its own right.'' Deadpool responded deadpanning.

''Glad we did though. Not sure what would have happened if she was on her own.'' Kirito responded worriedly.

''Oh, you are playing the concerned brother. In that case, I have to be extra offensive!'' Deadpool said with a big smile, only to feel a hard strike against his family jewels, sending him flying at least five meters in the air and six meters further.

Kirito looked irritated and angrily, confusing the girls quite a bit when he said, ''I am not playing around. And that is payback from before, asshole.''

* * *

An unfamiliar world he had appeared in, different from his own world in many regards. Blacksmiths of various sizes sat at the side of the road instead of working in their forage, working hard on their gear and other metals. Craftsmen and other specialists set between them, the chaos making Eugeo believe there were no Callings in this world. But the main reason how he knew he was no longer in his world were the symbols hanging above people's heads, as well as a strange green bar visible on his own vision. {So there is another one!}[On what floor is this one supposed to be on?]

However, knowing he was in a different world didn't do him any good if he didn't know how it worked. But how was he was supposed to figure that one out? Eugeo wasn't too sure about that. _Just tell me what floor he is on, dammit!_

The puzzled lay-out of the city his blue eyes gazed upon wasn't helping him in any way, making it much harder for Eugeo to find his way around. And the sort of headache from something unknown was further declining the process of understanding his current conditions.

*Bamf*

''Who are you?!'' Eugeo let out as he was witness to the sudden appearance of a red-clothed person in front of him, superhero style.

Deadpool stood graciously up and said graciously, ''Deadpool, and I will be your guide today. Now, if you please follow me, we have a tight schedule!'' _Any more players I have to find?_

* * *

A long day had passed for the Merc in Red and his party, combat-wise not much of a day to be proud of. Recruitment-wise, they had hit the jackpot, a total of six new players accompanying them on their journey. The four girls could add the purple-haired Yuuki, the golden-haired Alice, the blond-haired Leafa and the black-haired Sinon to their ranks. The boys could add two to their ranks, the first the blond-haired Eugeo and secondly the brown-haired Parker. [Wait, you added Spiderman?]{You significant bastard!} _We love you!_

''So we ended up in a videogame that kills us in real life when we die in the game? That's sick!'' Parker commented as dorky as ever, the embodiment of his latest actor in front of the three boys. _So, Tim Holland._ [He was the best though.]{He nailed it!}

''I wouldn't describe it as such really. Games are more fun when your life is not on the line.'' Kirito commented.

''Oh, of course. You are absolutely right.'' Parker apologized before adding, ''but it is really cool at the same time! And we have Deadpool here! It is a pleasure to meet you. I am a big fan!''

''Pleasure is all mine. Now, for our plan tomorrow.'' Deadpool started. ''We need our new recruits to level-up so they can fight alongside us. We need to assist the Aincrad Dragon Alliance in the front-line and we need help Kizmel with constructing the in-safe-zone base for the elves.''

''Can't you just summon all the items that we need?'' Kirito asked, wondering how his partner did not reach that conclusion first.

''Oh, how could I forget?'' [Op is not paying attention one bit.]{Shame!} To the shock of the two new boys, Deadpool summoned one item after another from his back, easily the hundred items in less than five minutes.

''Awesome,'' Parker commented in awe, his eyes sparkling. ''How did you do that?''

''Unique skill Magic Satchel. I can pull items from my back out of thin air. Want some milk?'' He asked as he pulled a can of milk from his back.

''This is all very difficult to understand,'' Eugeo commented as well, trying to comprehend the situation before him as he took the glass of milk, drank it, and added, ''You are telling we are stuck in a 'created world', normally meant for entertainment, but now turned into a game of death. Sounds like something Vector would do.''

''Don't know who this Vector guy is, but he sounds like a dick. Kayaba would most probably like him.'' Deadpool responded, Eugeo and Alice nodding to his words. ''Anyway, I had another idea before we train every last one of you guys.'' Before Kirito could intervene with 'Not another crazy idea..' Deadpool continued, ''I think with the latest recruitment it would be better if we create some kind of guild.''

''That doesn't sound so bad,'' Argo commented from another table of the empty restaurant. ''With a guild, we no longer have the trouble to be partied to know how the others are doing and where they are. Question is if Kii-bou is up for the option.''

''Well, it doesn't sound like a bad idea. I have to admit fighting alongside strong partners makes this death game a lot easier. I probably am so used to have someone around me these days, I wouldn't even notice the difference.'' Kirito admitted. ''But the main problem lies with who becomes the leader.''

''I volunteer as tribute!'' Deadpool instantly responded.

''Oh, hell no!'' A unison reaction came from the senior members of the game and Kizmel. ''With all due respect, being let by the most unpredictable player in the game is probably the worst idea to go by,'' Argo added.

''Or the best!'' Deadpool retorted.

Kirito shook his head as he ignored that latest statement and said, ''I think it is best to make this choice democratically. Everyone gets one vote and the one with the most votes gets the position of leader. You can't vote for yourself.'' he added as he noticed Deadpool's expression.

An hour later, the players entered their bed, the schedule for the upcoming days filled with three actions: Firstly, the training of the new recruits. Secondly, the liberation of the tenth floor. Thirdly, the creation of a new guild, let by none less than The Black Swordsman. [Wait, is Guts here too?]{Wouldn't it be wiser to call Kirito The Black Swordsman 2.0?}[Isn't 2.0 meant to indicate something became better?] _Triggered Berserk fans incoming!_

* * *

The imaginary sound of a piano could be heard, a famous *Dun, dun, dun* the start of a training montage. As the guitar kicked in, the first day began, Deadpool and Kirito taking care of defenses while the others switched in on the offense. When the drum kicked in as well, Deadpool was body-locking a Snake Warrior, others once again defeating it in its unprotected state.

''Risin' up, back on the street. Did my time, took my chances. Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet. Just a man and his will to survive'' the song began as pushups were done, only for Sinon to strike Deadpool for checking out hers and Leafa's chest a bit too much.

''So many times, it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory. Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive!'' Were the next words, Kizmel cutting her way through countless enemies. With the thoughts of her deceased sister in the back of her head, the knight fought to make sure her new family would not have the same fate.

''It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight. Risin' up to the challenge of our rival. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night. And he's watchin' us all with the eye of the tiger'' Both Kirito and Deadpool were in this moment's notice, clean teamwork of friendly rival obliterating the competition of mob warriors of various animal species, as well as Deadpool jamming a sword in a Tiger knight's eye. [Ironic.]

''Face to face, out in the heat. Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry.'' _A picnic in the shadow?_ [A picnic in the shadow.] {Even players have to eat!}

''They stack the odds 'till we take to the street. For the kill with the skill to survive.'' The fight continued, Asuna and Yuna piercing their way to the top, the level helping them significantly in beating the mobs quickly.

The next refrain was an all-together moment, all players maneuvering through to the unknown forest.

In this part, Yuuki defeated her enemy with a Martial Art skill, jumping happily after defeating the first enemy on her own.

''Risin' up, straight to the top. Had the guts, got the glory.'' It was this time the golden knight who was in sight, the weak blade in her hands cutting swiftly through her enemies. Eugeo fought beside her, the words, ''Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop. Just a man and his will to survive.'' échoing next in the clean air, the blue sky a sight to behold.

On the next refrain, numerous numbers appeared. _The numbers, reader! What do they mean?!_ From level 1 to level 6, to level 12, all the way to level 20 appeared and disappeared on the screen. With the last repeating Eyes of the Tiger, Argo and Parker continued to confuse their enemies with great agility, constantly switching, acrobatics/climbing, and defeating them with their clawed weapons.

And that was the end of the short training montage, the training eventually lasting a week of constant level grinding. All the players were leveled to at least level 20, and they continued their journey to set themselves in the realm of legendary guilds, creating the amazing guild called [Insert name here.] {Seriously, give us an awesome name!} and continued their task to eliminate the Akatsuki and bring peace to the world of Pirates. **For fuck sake, Dp! That was a serious moment!** ''A serious moment in this story? Are you stupid or something?''

* * *

Days to weeks passed by in an endless fight for survival. A guild of 80 players, a guild of fourteen players and fourteen solo players pushed through the countless floors with tactical precision, their teamwork truly one of a kind. [Certainly when you consider videogamers are most of the time very toxic}.

Perhaps it was because of the many girls that were suddenly joining the front line, or it was because the unspoken leader of the frontline had once again joined their side. Either way, the presence of Kirito and Deadpool skyrocketed the morale, the spawning mobs almost running away in fear for the destructive force of the players.

A spear flew between two dashing players, striking another Animal warrior mid-air before Asuna and Kirito unleashed their greatest Sword skills. Before the beast could get out of his cooldown, Parker jumped from the wall, grabbed it from behind and corkscrewed it in the ground. Standing up - a little dizzy of his action- he said with a bright smile, ''Saw that, mister Pool? I did it!''

''Proud of you kid,'' Deadpool said grinning. ''But don't slack off. If you want to be a hero, you have to work hard for it!''

''R..Right, sir!'' Parker reacted as a student to his admirable teacher. **You? Admirable?** _Oh, go fuck yourself._

The nineteenth floor of the tenth-floor dungeon was conquered only minutes after that moment, the players already charging in onto the next one. Traps were disabled by Deadpool's ingenious tactic called, ''Run, activate and get the fuck out!'' Monsters were beaten left, right and center, the glory of their small victories leaving the path open towards the black granite corridors of each dungeon level.

Two and half hours later, the 35th boss room was reached, at least 80% of the players patted heavily from the constant 100% charge, high sounds of a dying breath heard in the background. ''You guys are out of shape. Really oughta do some cardio.'' Deadpool commented, juggling a pair of knives in the air. [And referencing a beautiful play by Something With Entertainment] _To think we could something from Abridged into this story._ {It is perfect!}[Anyone who read that in Soldier's voice from TF2 +10 points}.

''Easily said...by the prick... who is... *breathes heavily*..constantly teleporting...around...'' Kibaou tried to say, high notes of air-distress hearable in-between.

Lind, who had caught his breath -although still lying on the ground for he no longer felt his legs- asked, ''I get how sir Deadpool could do this, but how are you all not affected by this offensive?''

Kirito deadpanned as he answered, ''I had to keep up with this bastard for the last three months. A charge like this is nothing if you are used to that.'' Asuna, Argo, and Yuna nodded in a similar matter, all having experienced the trouble of keeping up with the merc -both physically as well as mentally- for way too long.

Kizmel answered with shrugged shoulders as she answered, ''I am a member of Pagoda Knights. If you already found this troublesome, I advise you not to participate with their daily training.''

''No..noted..'' Diavel responding on hands and knees, trying to catch his breath from fleeing.

''And the new recruits?'' A tank called Shivata asked. ''Surely, they are not used to Sir Deadpool yet.''

Alice looked up as she responded, ''Mentally, Sir Deadpool is in a league on his own. However, as an Integrity Knight, none except the other Integrity Knights are my equal.'' Many stood in awe of the confidence she shown as if Alice was the goddess of salvation herself they all had been waiting for.

Eugeo sighed as he said, ''We just went through a seven-day nightmare course just to get in shape. This is not an obstacle in comparison to that course.'' Yuuki, Sinon, Parker, and Leafa nodded in response.

''And the other guy? What was his name again? Jim.'' Kibaou asked

''...'' Jim answered, his blue/gray/brown/black/red?/green?! eyes confidently gazing at the players laying in front of him. {What the hell, OP?}

''That explains a lot. Thanks for the explanation.'' Kibaou replied thankfully, no traces of sarcasm noticeable at all in his scraggy face. _What in the actual bloody hell?!_

''Anyway, when you guys are ready, we can start the boss battle. Deadpool should be able to summon enough potions for the fight, so when we are rested and equipped with enough potions, we can finally get to the next floor.'' Kirito said, his grip tightened on his weapon as his eyes were solely focused on the black-colored doors.

''In that case; catch dipshit!'' Deadpool shouted, throwing the bottle of red liquid in Kibaou's face. ''Worst catch ever.'' Before Kibaou could retort to that question, five more bottles followed, the red liquid drooling down his face. ''Guess I threw to hard. I think he is bleeding.''

''Of course I am not bleeding, bastard! At least give those potions to me, not throw them at my face!'' Kibaou thundered back, only for another bottle to break in his face.

''But that so boring!''

''This is going to be a long day,'' Kirito commented as he facepalmed himself, his eyes observing how Kibaou tried to catch several other potions without success.

''At least we will be able to see the 11th floor by the end of it,'' Eugeo commented with a smile, comforting Kirito with a hand on his shoulder. ''After seeing all the different 'themes' this world has, I am wondering what the next floor is going to show us.''

''Boobs,'' Deadpool replied instantly, resulting in the entire male-raid-group -that was catching their breath- to stand up, except for three players. ''Now we know who is gay at the same time. Good for you guys.'' [Thumbs up for them.]{Spread love, not hate!} _Or something like that._

''Knock it off already!'' Asuna angrily shouted, ready to punch the Merc another time, only for Yuna to stop her in time.

''Stop it Asuna-san! We are not in a safe zone!'' O _h,_ s _he is a real beauty. Probably have to watch out for my life though._ Deadpool thought as he continued to throw bottles at Kibaou, the vice-leader finally catching them.

''Anyway, in the sake for boo..''*Coughs*'' liberation of the 10th floor and reaching the boo...*double coughs* the 11th floor, we will triumphant today!'' Diavel announced, his face red from the thoughts of beautiful fat cushions. His speech was answered by numerous roars of acknowledgment.

''I see you are all men of culture as well,'' Deadpool said proudly with his eyes closed, not seeing Asuna was about to punch through the dungeon walls.

Kirito held Asuna back just in time as he muttered, ''This truly is going to be a long day.''

* * *

 **Kagachi the Samurai Lord.** A large warrior at least three to four times taller than your average adult. Equipped with the armor of a high-ranked samurai, the blade of legendary champion and the appearance of a devil, the boss was without a doubt the embodiment for its opponents' worst nightmare.

''For the boobs! Charge!'' Diavel shouted, the acknowledging roar of a hundred gentlemen music to his ears.

Deadpool started the raid with the first attack, his dual sworded strike parried by the long curved katana of Kagachi. ''Time to dance!''

The attire of the 10th-floor boss wasn't just for show, as his swordsmanship and strength were without equal. ''Yeah right. This asshole got nothing on me!''

Deadpool's blades clashed five more times with the quick slashes of the boss, both blades shattering in the process. A descending blade came falling down on the Merc, Deadpool defenseless to block it whatsoever. ''I am the bone of my sword.''

Two blades blocked the attack perfectly as the incarnation continued. ''Steel is my body and Fire is my blood.'' Several players jumped in to engage the boss and distracted it for the Merc, just for him to continue the chant. ''I have created over a thousand blades. Unknown to death, nor to known to life.''

For the first in this world, a sound that should have echoed inside Deadpool's head echoed through the boss room. A sound that confused several players, a sort of organ sound or piano kind of music playing at a rapid pace. Ominous, yet relaxing. Not only that, but the sound rose every skin-hair of the players in the room, recreating the feeling of goosebumps perfectly. To the players that had never heard of it, it was overwhelming. Even the boss felt its skin tremble in anticipation, shown by the lack of resistance it put up. And that was only strengthened by the blue fog surrounding the merc in red.

''Have withstood pain to create many weapons. Yet, these hands never owned anything.'' The music picked up again, a sort of violin strengthening the tension in the air.

''It can't be?!'' a player shouted in shock and awe.

''Is he actually going to do it..?'' Another player said amazed, anticipation heard in his voice.

''You can do it, Sir Deadpool!'' Another player yelled in excitement.

''So as I pry.'' Deadpool continued, the music and fog almost breaking the tension in the air. ''Unlimited Blade Works.''

* * *

 **Author notes:**

So here is chapter 9.

Not much to say on this chapter, except that inspiration was a real pain in the ass. The last update was at the end of May, so... ''Almost three months?'' almost three months. That is actually surprisingly short. Storywise, we have added several new characters from SAO and Marvel (yeah, nobody saw that one coming) and can it be Deadpool has another skill we don't know about? ''Found out next time on Sao Deadpool Z.''

Before I forget, I started a new story called Isekai Ultimatum. It is a work in progress and I am still looking for a beta-reader, but if you are familiar with various animes, games, and comics, you probably will recognize a lot of characters that will appear in this story. It is no parody, but quite dark, so you are warned.

That was it for chapter 9 and see you guys in the next one. Beyor out!

''Next time on Sword Art Online: Deadpool. Cooking with the D.''


End file.
